In Which Mackenzie Wraps It Up


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So, that’s basically the story of my first job as an enchanter. Although I did very little actual enchanting and none of the finished spellwork, it was still an education and a half. I don’t just mean the stuff about watching my back and keeping an eye on my own interests, either… it really was an education in things like how a complicated project is put together and how to work within a group.

I say “basically” because there were still some more details to work out. You know the saying “all over but the shouting?” That’s pretty much what it was… and there was a lot of shouting. Somehow, the more of the big details that we got settled, the more that people seemed to get really invested in the little details.

By “people”, I mainly mean Micah and Sapphire, but even the members of the group that had been the most reserved through earlier discussions got in on the act. I think everybody wanted to feel like they’d put a personal stamp on the finished product, even if it wouldn’t belong to us. If anything, maybe that made it more important. There are all kinds of ways to own a thing, after all.

I have to give it to Acantha: the deal she got us from the school probably would have felt fair if we hadn’t had anything to compare it to… especially if she’d been able to lead us through the whirlwind of disappointment and outrage followed by a glimmer of hope and then eventual triumph over adversity that I’d interrupted.

I really think that if I hadn’t seen what was going on or had kept my mouth shut, then she could have sold it to us as a victory. It helped that none of us had sought out the opportunity. It had been dropped into our laps.

I don’t think she was happy to be out most of her commission, but I think there had been some truth in what she’d said about the money not meaning as much to her as it did to us. Like, it wasn’t pocket change, but she wasn’t several hundred gold coins away from starving or being evicted from her treehouse or whatever, either.

Still, in retrospect, maybe I should have taken it as a warning sign that she was as sanguine about losing as she was. She hadn’t exactly folded right away, but she had folded. I’d seen right away that her willingness to give up her payday for the project meant she was getting paid somewhere else, but I hadn’t stopped to consider what it meant when she was willing to give up the bulk of that second profit.

It didn’t hurt anything that in getting her to agree to that, I felt like I’d scored a huge victory over a superior opponent. On another day, the idea that I’d actually triumphed is exactly what would have led me to question further, but I was too pleased with myself.

Still, maybe it was naïve of me that I didn’t think to question why she would have been so invested in having me on the project that she would have gone up against Embries on it, even when it was clear that she was sensibly terrified of her. It probably seems like I just accepted it without question, but it wasn’t even a matter of accepting or rejecting the premise… it was just something I didn’t think about until much later.

As I’m telling you this, I realize that I know exactly why I didn’t think any further about this at the time, and it’s not all that complicated: I wanted to be done with it, and not thinking about it meant that I was. Finishing up the project meant I was done dealing with Acantha as anything more than an instructor, and I was very nearly done with that. I didn’t want to waste any more time trying to figure out what she was after or where she stood. I still wasn’t sure what to believe about her overall, but I was dead tired of trying to figure it out.

If I didn’t have anything to do with her, then there was nothing to figure out. I didn’t have to believe the best or the worst about her. I didn’t have to believe anything about her.

And even more than I didn’t want to play those games with her, I didn’t like what she brought out in me. Maybe it’s hypocritical to turn my nose up at her utilitarian approach to things when I was benefiting from the lessons that she’d taught me… and would likely continue to benefit from them in the future… but there was a limit to how far I wanted to go down that path. In that climactic confrontation, she’d referred to my “buried instincts” in a way that left little doubt in my mind that she saw digging them up as a good thing.

Well, I’d seen more of my instincts up close than she had. Maybe there wasn’t a straight line path between becoming a more ruthless negotiator and unleashing the slavering hellbeast, but it still felt… okay, if one wasn’t a slippery slope leading to the other, then it still seemed like it might be a shorter way down the hill.

Basically, however elated I may have been in the moment to have apparently beaten Acantha at her own game… I still didn’t like the game. I didn’t like who I was when I played it. And I didn’t want to spend my time hanging out with someone who was dedicated to making me a better player of it.

With all of that on the table, it might seem weird that I would choose to go on from the project to a position working with Glory in her breakaway elven court, but the difference was that Acantha sought out intrigue when it was profitable to do so, while Glory was trying to pull herself and her friends away from that sort of thing.

I could admire what Glory was trying to accomplish, even if I didn’t always agree with her execution.

I should clarify that while I’m telling them as separate stories… and they are very much separate eras in my head… there actually was a bit of overlap between my time working with Acantha and my time with Glory. The one was getting started as the other was winding down, but at their peaks, they both consumed my life to such a huge degree that it’s hard for me to think of them as happening at the same time. I think if I tried to put the events together in a detailed timeline, I’d be making most of it up and probably getting a lot of it wrong.

I think that’s why I’m more comfortable ending this story here, instead of grinding on through it to the very end. Because in real life, there aren’t neat endings. In real life, things don’t get wrapped up with a bow and handed off. The story of my dealings with Acantha basically ended when I did the thing and stood up to her and… save the day, sort of, I guess. The rest is just details, and I’ve never been good at details.

Life really isn’t like stories, but sometimes it’s easier to remember it like it is… that, and you can’t tell another person your life, no matter how much you might try, and I think maybe sometimes I’ve tried too hard to do that. Even when I set out to specifically tell the story of the whole thing with Acantha, I don’t think I always succeeded. I think a few times along the way I got bogged down in trying to explain my life.

But you can’t explain a life to someone who hasn’t lived it. No matter how many words you spend, they won’t add up to a single actual experience, will they?

You can tell stories, though, and maybe at the end of the day, that’s what the point of a story is.

I don’t know.

Onto something else now…


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35 Responses to “Chapter 217: Afterwards”

  1. zeel says:

    That was an interesting way to wrap it up. I take it that means most nothing very exciting came of the deal beyond the sack of gold. At least not yet.

    I’m really missing the supporting characters though, I can’t wait for Two, Amaranth, Steff, Dee, Ian, and such to come back.

    Current score: 5
    • Cadnawes says:

      I find myself on your team a lot. I agree, again. I think that was a large part of why I’m not a fan of this arc. Not enough EVERYONE ELSE.

      Current score: 9
    • Trent Baker aka Zergonapal says:

      This is the one chapter where it is clear that she is writing her memoirs in the first person. I guess it is a good way to wrap things up with this arc. As Mack says things don’t get wrapped up with a nice little bow, but dragging out the details in several more chapters would likely be a detriment to the overall story.
      However I feel this is the first time that Mack has broken through the fourth wall (I could be wrong.), so it is rather jarring.

      Current score: 0
  2. ista says:

    > sensibly terrified of her.

    Probably “sensibly terrified of him.” (Embries).

    Current score: 1
  3. Drakkonan says:

    Well that end bit was certainly blunt but I agree with the sentiment. I’ve read every chapter you’ve written in this series and while Mackenzie’s full life story including sleeping, eating, bathing, and fucking is interesting, you’ve got quite a bit of that story already written. Though it would have been nice to have some interludes with the rest of the cast, I suppose we’ll be seeing more of them in the coming Glory arc.

    Keep it up 🙂

    Current score: 3
  4. D. D. Webb says:

    Just finished a re-read of Volume 1 (yeah, yeah, I know, I must be as masochistic as Mack) and I have to say the tone and structure of this chapter reminds me strongly of the final, wrapping-it-up chapter of the freshman year. Even more strongly because I don’t recall any other chapter in the whole story with the same feel.

    Seems early to be bringing the sophomore year to a close, so I’ll take this as a structural experiment. I’m not sure, yet, how I feel about the more compartmentalized storylines; when I finish re-reading Volume 2 maybe it’ll be more clear.

    In any case, bravo! Always a pleasure to see the Tales of MU notification in my inbox. 🙂

    Current score: 2
    • zeel says:

      Naw man, I’ve re-read it like four times. . .

      I might have a problem. . .

      Current score: 6
      • not her, the other girl says:

        I think I’m only at three, the main thing holding me back from four is time – I just renewed some library books I haven’t had a chance to get to yet also.

        Current score: 0
        • zeel says:

          Well it’s only four for like half the first volume really. Each time I read it it’s longer, so while the most recent chapters are only once, the earliest might even be at five. The archive is. . . so long. . .

          I’ll probably start again later this summer.

          Current score: 0
  5. Not her, the other girl says:

    I still think Acantha was originally going to get six thousand gold instead of six hundred which is why she folded, but I doubt we’ll find out.

    “Maybe there wasn’t a straight line path between becoming a more ruthless negotiator and unleashing the slavering hellbeast, but it still felt… okay, if one wasn’t a slippery slope leading to the other, then it still seemed like it might be a shorter way down the hill.”

    This is so very Mack. I kind of wish Ian was around to pick it apart.

    I want to know what’s up with Steff (I may have said this last time I commented, I don’t remember) but the Glory arc definitely has potential.

    Current score: 1
  6. Glenn says:

    One small correction:

    I didn’t think to question why she would have been so invested in having me on the project that she would have gone up against Embries on it, even when it was clear that she was sensibly terrified of her.

    Since Embries is male, it should be “terrified of him.”

    I suspect Acantha’s real motive here involves training Mack to the point where she can be a useful ally against Callahan.

    Current score: 2
    • D. D. Webb says:

      I’ve often thought that Mack would benefit immensely from tightening her relationship with Callahan. It doesn’t seem likely, what with her aversion to violence and general lack of assertiveness… But if Callahan vs. Acantha is going to be a thing, and Mack winds up having to take a side, she seems to have more of a rapport with the coach, despite having more in common with Acantha.

      Current score: 2
      • Glenn says:

        Callahan seems motivated by her desire to kill immortals, and some of Mack’s closest friends, including Amaranth, Dee and Two, are immortal. So I suspect that a conflict between Mack and Callahan is probable, though it almost certainly won’t begin for a long time. Perhaps when Mack is in her fourth year of college?

        Current score: 0
        • Dani says:

          Is Callahan motivated by a desire to kill immortals, or by a desire to kill ultra-powerful beings (categories with a significant overlap)?

          I don’t expect a real conflict between Mack and Callahan for the same reason I don’t expect one between Mack and Embries: They’re too far out of her league.

          Current score: 1
          • Ilya says:

            Agree. Callahan wouldn’t be interested in killing Amaranth, she’d like to kill Embries or Mother Khaeli for that matter.

            Current score: 0
          • Glenn says:

            In Book 1, in Interview with a Dwelogorc, Callahan tells Embries,

            “And when you’ve actually killed one… well, I have to confess, I love killing immortals. It’s like knocking down a tree that extends all the way to the dome of heaven. It’s like wiping my ass on eternity. I could slaughter a whole village of elves, for instance, and it would get me so… well, I digress. The point is, there’s no rush like bringing down a being who isn’t only immortal but remembers the age of primordial creation. If I haven’t killed more greater dragons, it’s mainly because you’re so kosh-darn hard to find. It’s like hunting an endangered species.”

            While it’s true that immortals like Amaranth and Dee are not that old themselves, I’d guess that neither were all the elves she slaughtered in that village.

            Current score: 0
            • zeel says:

              I concur, she would certainly enjoy killing either of them. Though there is a whole tree house full of prime targets just off campus that would probably fall first.

              Current score: 0
  7. Barnowl says:

    Almost seems like the whole thing was set up just to see if Mackenzie would figure it out. A lot of trouble to go to…for what?

    Current score: 0
  8. Lyssa says:

    So, I’m not saying that Acantha is connected to The Man, but I do think it’s interesting that Mackenzie has spurned both of them for essentially the same reason. She may not have have a very stiff back some of the time, but she is pretty great at resisting some pretty persuasive corruptors.

    Current score: 3
    • zeel says:

      After dealing with her grandmother and Puddy I think she has learned to recognize the signs.

      Current score: 1
  9. Riocaz says:

    Not to mention of course that if Embries has it out for Mack… Having Callahan on her side wouldn’t be a bad idea.

    If she can kill gods, a mere Dragon (however old) wouldn’t exactly be stretching her abilities much.

    Current score: 0
    • Glenn says:

      Back in Book 1, it was Embries who had to repeatedly tell Callahan that she couldn’t kill Mack.

      Current score: 1
      • Seth says:

        Mack is a student, and as such, technically under Embries protection as Vice Chancellor.

        Granted, the only thing that exists to enforce this arrangement is the VC’s honor and general good will, and obviously there are limits. If Mack did something worthy of being expelled, it might get ugly…

        Current score: 0
      • zeel says:

        But Embries on the other hand could have her for a snack and it would be “Natural causes”.

        Current score: 0
    • sliversith says:

      A mere dragon? A MERE DRAGON? Do you forget that Greater Dragons FIGHT with the Gods, and, if not OFTEN win, do so frequently enough that it is a common fact that they CAN. One red in particular (I forget the actual name right now) is Continuing to live with the, by all accounts fatal, death curse of an ancient God. Greater Dragons are not “mere”

      Current score: 1
  10. Lum says:

    I’m a new reader that just finished reading from the start, and I noticed that early on you had daily updates but recently your updates are weekly. I was wondering what happened to the daily updates.

    Current score: 0
  11. Caddan says:

    “would have gone up against Embries on it, even when it was clear that she was sensibly terrified of her.”

    Wait….Embries is female? Did I miss something?

    Current score: 0
    • Order of Chaos says:

      With Some Sort Of Ridiculous Owl Turtle Thing at work in Macks head it was only a matter of time before Embries block got undone and we learn what Embries and Steff have in common 🙂 or it was a typo and the even the mighty SSROTT can’t trump the will of a greater dragon. Oh well there’s still the mock box’s to try.

      Current score: 1
  12. Zathras IX says:

    There is always a
    Shouting after it’s over—
    How else would you know?

    Current score: 3
  13. Dani says:

    > I hadn’t stopped to consider what it meant when she
    > was willing to give up the bulk of that second profit

    Maybe this project provided the creative work for productizing the replication technology that Acantha stole?

    Current score: 1
  14. Mist42nz says:

    Nice close on the allegory work. Good tips for people, especially if they ever do a social or share funded project.
    Hopefully doesn’t cause too much literary division from the magic, friends, relationships, curiosities of they earlier direction of the story. I loved how the magic system was building, and how ‘cry baby’ was getting alone….or is the teller outgrowing her stories?

    Current score: 0
  15. Tapestry says:

    I’m more interested in the Coach Cally stories myself, or the alternate Mack because that story was getting pretty hot. I need a Dark Elf matron… Just saying…

    Current score: 0
  16. DeNarr says:

    Hmm, this shift in tone seems really weird. As if, we are suddenly listening to her talk about her college days, rather than living through them with her. I personally prefer living the days with her, as it means we have no idea what the future holds.

    Current score: 0
  17. Adele says:

    “Still, in retrospect, maybe I should have taken it as a warning sign that she was as sanguine about losing as she was… I hadn’t stopped to consider what it meant when she was willing to give up the bulk of that second profit….

    …On another day, the idea that I’d actually triumphed is exactly what would have led me to question further, but I was too pleased with myself….

    Still, maybe it was naïve of me that I didn’t think to question why she would have been so invested in having me on the project that she would have gone up against Embries on it…

    …[Acantha] was dedicated to making me a better player of [the game]”

    I think Acantha is working for – or with – Mack Daddy.

    Current score: 0
  18. Arancaytar says:

    consider what it meant when she was willing to give up the bulk of that second profit.

    Well, in the words of the sages: “Duh”.

    even when it was clear that she was sensibly terrified of her

    Isn’t Embries a “him”?

    Current score: 0