April Fool’s: Mackenzie Blaise and the Gazebo of Darkness

on April 1, 2008 in Other Tales

In Which There Is An Inexplicable Amount Of Fetishistic Lesbian Sex

I got my chance to talk to Steff in private when I went to return her basket of bath stuff. It was a little bit weird, going over to the guys’ side on my own. It was broad daylight, so I had every right to be there, but I kept expecting somebody to challenge me… or hit on me, or something. Considering that other girls apparently went over there at all hours of the day and night, it was probably silly of me… but hey, that’s about standard for me, isn’t it?

I felt a little bit of trepidation as I approached the fourth floor. I knew there was this whole big protocol Viktor and Steff had for knocking, but I didn’t really know how it worked. I figured I could rap quietly on the door and if I didn’t get a response, I’d just hang the little decorative basket on the handle and leave.

Luckily, Steff was actually sitting with her back to the door, playing with her knives, when I arrived.

“Hey,” I said.

“Hey,” she said, smiling with near-Amaranth intensity. “Have a nice bath?”

“Started out that way,” I said.

“What do you mean?”

I told her the story of what had happened, and watched her face change. The smile started to falter, and then it leveled off completely, and then the corners of her mouth began to droop. By the time I finished relaying Kiersta’s reaction, she looked murderous.

“Those fucking twats,” Steff said. “I would have rammed that toilet paper down their throats… or, down one of their throats and back out the other one. I don’t know.”

“That’s not all,” I said. “My scar’s been hurting again…”

“You don’t have a scar,” Steff said.

“I meant my vagina,” I said. “That’s what my grandmother called it.”

“Oh, right,” Steff said.

“And…” I said, pausing dramatically. “I’ve been having more dreams about You-Know-Who.”

“Are they hot?”

“Disturbingly so,” I said. “But that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“What, then?” Steff asked.

“The thing is… we’re no strangers to love,” I said.

“Yeah, well, you know the rules, and so do I,” she said.

I nodded.

“I know, but the thing is… a full commitment’s what I’m thinking of,” I said.

She rolled her eyes and snorted dismissively.

“I could get that from any other guy,” she said.

“No, Steff,” I said, shaking my head. “You couldn’t.”

She crossed her arms and looked at me skeptically.

“What do you want from me, Mack?” she asked.

“I just want to tell you what I’m feeling,” I said. “Gonna make you understand… I’m never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna tell a lie and hurt you…”

Okay, okay, okay… April Fool’s, everybody… or as they say dans la belle France, “La Vigne d’Avril!” The real story will be up this afternoon.


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11 Responses to “April Fool’s: Mackenzie Blaise and the Gazebo of Darkness”

  1. BMeph says:

    Hey, AE,…


    …you missed a couple ellipses up there. 😀

    Current score: 0
  2. Nezumi says:

    wow… I have just been rickrolled in a story… my life is complete.

    Current score: 6
  3. karasu says:

    Huh… win. 😀 Though, it’s “Poisson d’Avril” in French, if I’m not mistaken…

    Current score: 1
  4. jose says:

    Her scar is hurting and having a dream about you know who? Nice subtle harry potter reference though I’m not sure if you meant it but still pretty cool.

    Current score: 2
    • Pamela says:

      I don’t think there’s any way that was unintentional.

      Current score: 8
  5. Playing Hooky says:

    Win, win, win. I don’t think I’ve ever been hit with so much pop-culter/memes in a story before in my life, I love it every time I stumble across one! It’s like a scavenger hunt xD

    Current score: 0
  6. Maesenko says:

    How is it that I figured I would be Rickrolled as soon as I read the first line of that?

    Current score: 1
  7. Hoopla says:

    I was already singing it in my head by the fifth word.

    Current score: 1
  8. Jechtael says:

    I expected an actual Gazebo of Darkness (perhaps someone might cast Magic Missile at it once it was woken by some idiot firing arrows), and I noticed the song lyrics, but I’m metaphorically KICKING myself (and oh, look, also literally kicking myself) for not realizing WHAT the song was.

    I’m guessing Sooni is She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?

    Current score: 1
  9. zeel says:

    Is it weird that the first time I read this, I had yet to be exposed to that meme – so I seriously didn’t get it until the last paragraph when I was like “WTF?” I hadn’t been paying attention to titles of course, so I didn’t know this was a joke…

    Current score: 0