Character Q&A (Finished!)

on December 18, 2009 in Other Tales

All responses are up!


Amaranth

“Do you make yourself seem more confident than you really feel inside, or are you genuinely that sure of yourself?” – Fleur d’Elisabeth

Wow… um, that’s sort of a complicated question, isn’t it? I mean, I don’t really think that anyone goes through life with a single unchanging level of confidence. I suppose there are times when I put on a bit of a bold front, as everybody does, and there are times when I have good reason to feel confident.

“You seem to love everyone, or at least not hate anyone. Do you acknowledge that the hate or dislike other people feel is sometimes justified? Is there anything you can imagine a being doing that would deserve hate, even if you still wouldn’t hate them?” – Sebatinsky

I think to understand how somebody feels about someone else, it’s necessary to look at both people… what one person “hates” about another can say a lot about them. Certainly people can do things that are upsetting or even reprehensible. It’s our choice how to respond to that… I wouldn’t choose hatred, because I think that hatred tends to lead to reprehensible actions more often than other responses. Does it matter if someone “deserves” hatred, if hating them hurts or diminishes you?

“Where did you get your glasses?” – Tychomonger

Oh! I try not to talk about them too much, but… it’s kind of a long story, involving a scientist-wizard, and a balloon that travels between planes.

“What things do you least like doing and most like, sex wise?” – Drudge

What I like best is when I am able to please someone in a way that they’ve always wanted but never thought possible. What I like least is when I know what someone wants but they are not comfortable admitting it, much less doing it.

“Do you think that your ‘nymph sense’ of knowing what Mack wants sexually affects your relationship with her?” – Amarys

Well, certainly it does… I like to think it affects it for the better.

“When you store something in your ‘nymph space’, where does it go? Is it like a pocket dimension or do the things get transported to your field? If you put a living thing in there, would it survive?” – Chuck

It doesn’t go anywhere. I don’t know if it fulfills the technical definition of a pocket dimension, strictly speaking, but that’s certainly more like what happens than things being transported to my field. That wouldn’t be a very practical or safe means of storing things… really, honey, I have to wonder where you got that idea. It isn’t like I didn’t put plenty of things away when I was in my field.

And it doesn’t work with living things. This is actually why I like to put my things away from time to time even when I have somewhere else to put them: I figure that shakes the germs loose.

“What was your first sexual experience like? How many beings do you bang on an average day?” – Chuck

I hate to disappoint you, honey, but it was fairly straightforward… I had sex with several men at my welcoming ceremony. I don’t want to say it was ‘vanilla’, as I think that word has acquired some negative connotations, but it was nothing out of what most people would consider ordinary.

First of all, I prefer ‘person’ to ‘being’. It’s more… personal. Second, it’s hard to say what an average day is! Sometimes I have amazing group sex, or a more sequential ‘gang bang’… sometimes I just have a long or intense encounter with a single person.

“If you could have sex with anyone or anything in the world, who/what would you choose and why?” – Chuck

Oh, honey, life is really as a series of opportunities to have sex, so it’s hard to think of this as a hypothetical or to focus on just one individual… but suffice it to say that I think there are some orders of creation that are unfairly dismissed as potential sexual partners, and if I could really have sex with anyone I would do my part to redress that.

“Even though you believe everyone has good in them, what are you going to do when someone comes at you with murderous intent?” – Bau

Well… I really don’t have to do anything, do I? I wonder sometimes if I would have the courage to maintain my convictions if I didn’t have bodily immortality with respect to my mobile form, but ultimately, I don’t really know how I would react if someon who could kill me permanently and really came after me.

I guess I’d probably run away.

“I realize that it would be speculation on your part, but do you think that Mother Khaele would accept human followers? Especially since the laws and human nudity taboos would force them to wear clothing?

If so, would they need to quit eating and drinking anything that comes from an animal, or is that a result of you being a Nymph rather than a religious necessity?” – Amy

Hi, Amy! I love the name, honey… and I don’t have to speculate. Mother Khaele actually does have followers, separate from us her children. They aren’t bound by the same strictures as we are, though many of them are vegetarians or vegans.

“Do you have any contact with Barley these days?” – Sarah

No. I’m afraid Mother Khaele has made her wishes clear on that.

“Seeing that you have ‘extreme’ sexual tendency, how do you feel about the ‘2 girls one cup’ shock video? (assume that such a video exists in that universe)” – zeel

I would be happy to answer this question, but I have no idea what you’re talking about… I don’t know what the thing you’re referring to that I’m supposed to assume exists is. Sorry, hon. But if it is a depiction of two people enjoying themselves in a mutually consensual and pleasurable fashion, then I can’t imagine why it would be a problem for anyone.

“if someone under legal age wanted to have sex with you, what would you tell them/do?” – zeel

I would tell them it’s sweet or flattering, but that it wouldn’t be a very good idea to do so until they’re older. Human society places certain legal restrictions on children for their own protection… Mother Khaele understands this, being a mother herself.

“If a guy were part nymph, would they automatically be gay? Or would they have more of an attraction the women than average?” – zeel

My understanding is that when a nymph assumes mortality and has children, her descendants will have a stronger tendency towards fertility/virility and an increased chance of producing female offspring. I would hope that a nymphly parent would instill in her own children a tendency towards openness and honest experimentation, but I do not know if her children will actually be more likely to be gay or bisexual.

“What is your most embarrassing (in the “normal” human world) sexual fantasy?” – Lysaea

You know, sexual mores actually tend to vary pretty wildly from place to place. Some people would consider the simple act of love with another woman to be an ’embarrassment’. I don’t find any of my fantasies embarrassing, so I see no reason to clothe myself in… I mean, to cover my… I wouldn’t drape…

I… I think sexual embarrassment is too foreign to nymphs for me to formulate a proper response to this.

“What do you think of that story that Mack wrote?” – Tenskulls

I think she should stretch herself creatively more often. I might wish that she would use her imagination to create original stories instead of reworking a children’s show, but it’s a beginning.

“Please recount in detail, your experience with Inspector Gregory’s wife.” – Guest

Oh, I’d like to, honey, but pending the advice of legal counsel, I don’t think I should discuss that.

“Your philosophic ideas seem to be implicitly very collectivist. Have you ever read anything about individualist philosophy, and if so what do you think about it?” – Lesath

That shouldn’t be all that surprising, as Paradise Valley is a very collectivist institution… but I don’t think my personal philosophy is explicitly either collectivist or individualist. I personally favor a balanced approach… for instance, I think an individualist government works best when people follow collectivist impulses.

“What do you intend to do after university?” – Lesath

Well, obviously I’ll be going back to the valley, but I’d like to put my learning… both the official and unofficial sorts… to use. I think I’d like to teach, in some capacity. Maybe I could run seminars for my fellow nymphs and for interested humans and other people?

“What are your personal views and desires on marriage? Also are there any laws governing this in ways that you see as problematic?” – greg

I think marriage is a wonderful thing for people who desire to formally or spiritually announce their commitment to each other… I think the laws governing it are problematic, insofar as they’re rooted in a sort of narrow understanding of what marriage is, from back when it was more political and financial in nature than spiritual or emotional.

My desires? Well, marriage isn’t really a nymphly institution… I love Mack very much but I have no desire to marry her.

“What do you miss most about home?” – greg

Oh, that’s hard to say… but I think I actually most miss just being in my field. There’s a very strong sense of unity I get when I’m in my field. I feel disconnected being away from it. It’s a little distracting and even sort of tiring.

“I understand this is how you were made but, SERIOUSLY! Do you really think it’s possible for everyone in the world to be nice ‘deep down’ even when you’re repeatedly presented with evidence to the contrary? Don’t you believe that it takes all kinds to make a world, or do you really, truly, deeply believe that it takes all kinds of nice to make a world? You’re driving me nuts here babe.” – teribeth

Okay, I know that there is a question mark in there, but I’m not sure that this is technically a question so much as a chance to editorialize about something. But I’ll try my best to answer it all the same.

I’ve certainly seen evidence of people not being nice, but I don’t necessarily agree that this is evidence that everyone in the world can’t be nice, that they couldn’t be nice if they tried. When I see some of the people you’re probably thinking of… when I see the things that they’re doing, what I think is that they aren’t even trying to be nice.

Which is a shame, because it only takes a little effort.

“To want everyone to be like nymphs, doesn’t that actually make you super conceded?” – Constantly confused

Okay, honey, first of all, I think the word you’re thinking of “conceited”. Second, I think you’re making some unfair assumptions about my motivations here. I would like it if people were nicer to each other and if they were more open to certain possibilities. I see myself as being nice and open-minded… maybe that is conceited of me, I don’t know.

But thinking the world would be a better place if there was more love and less hate? I’m sorry, but I can’t believe that this reflects poorly on me.

“Amaranth, why are you so selfish? I know, I know: you love everybody. But your natural state of being aside, that’s not good enough. You can’t just ‘love everybody’ on your terms alone. You need to pay attention to what other people are saying and feeling, as well. You just don’t seem to understand that Barley didn’t want to be your best friend all the time; you ‘stole her thunder,’ and in perhaps the wisest move she ever made, she decided to go away for a while. Were you really so oblivious that you could not see that she needed space to grow and be her own nymph?” – Tart

Okay, see, some of the preceding questions were kind of editorial-ish, but this one’s… I really have to wonder what you’d accomplish by this, except maybe letting me know that you think I’m selfish and oblivious.

“If you actually care for Mack, why do you put her down and make her be quiet whenever she voices an opinion that seems to disagree with the person she is arguing with?” – Stickyboy

Wow.

That’s… more than a little judgmental. I get the feeling you’ve maybe been watching our relationship somehow, but it doesn’t seem like you’ve been watching it very closely. My Mack knows that I frown on her raising her voice in an argument and insulting another person’s intelligence or beliefs. Most people are capable of disagreeing without doing either of those things. I have faith that she is, too… in fact, I like to think that she’s already showing a little progress in that area.

If, in the meantime, someone she thinks is wrong is deprived of the opportunity to learn this because she can’t moderate her temper a little… well, there are worse things that can happen.

“For someone so concerned about courtesy, you seem to have missed a few lessons. Have you ever considered NOT speaking even if someone made what you think is a mistake (I’m referring to your correction of Lee when he said chomping at the bit) when the mistake is totally unrelated to the issue and speaking will A: make that person inclined to dislike you and B: make you look like a world-class bitch?” – The Almighty Nick

Well, I think you’re projecting a little here… I would be very surprised if Lee dislikes me on the basis of that or if he thinks I looked like a ‘world-class bitch’*. I think that as persuasive writing and oratory are both necessary skills for someone who works in the legal profession, then upon reflection he probably appreciated the tip.

*By the way, this isn’t the time or place, but you might want to reflect on how the use of an explicitly gendered insult makes you look.


Barley

“Do you honestly believe what you did to Mack was okay?” – Fleur d’Elisabeth

What I did? I didn’t do anything. It’s Puddy you should be talking to. She set the whole thing up.

“What happened? You started out seeming so sweet and idealistic and earnest. Was it all resentment bred from envy and jealousy aimed at Amaranth, or did something else happen to you?” – Tart

What are you going on about? What happened to me is I got stuck on a floor full of petty scheming bitches, I got blamed for shit they were doing, and I got out.

“Seriously – were you worried about social stigma [when you labeled yourself as ‘not gay’]? Or were you just getting yoursel off (hoho, pun!) on a technicality, because you like penises, too?” – Lysaea

Finally, a real question! Thank you.

Actually, it’s mainly that I didn’t want to be co-opting an identity I have no right to. Not everybody likes nymphs, but I’m not likely to suffer the same social stigma a human does for having a same-sex relationship.

“Do you realise the magnitude of what you did to Mack given that your Mother de-Nymphed you?” – Curt

What? You people clearly have no idea what you’re talking about.

“So, are you mortal now?” – Riotllama

I haven’t checked.

“Why are you neglecting your duties to your field and wearing clothes? Has your Mother allowed you to do so? What is going on with your life?” – Eldaah

What’s going with my life is that it’s my life.


Belinda

“What is so damned attractive about Mackenzie Blaise?” – Drudge

Lol wut now?

“Where the fudgey fudge are you?” – Altima

I got shit going on.


Bohd

“Considering you would be most likely able to relate to Ms. Mackenzie, and possibly help her adjustment into the ‘real world, why have you not confided in her your ‘similar’ heritages?” – sassiepants

As I said to Ms. Mackenzie, her exact heritage is of no concern to me. Mine should be of no concern to her. I think she has more than enough people who are making assumptions about her based on her bloodline. I have no intention of joining them.

“What would be your feelings if you were to discover that you and Mackenzie were possibly related?” – Altima

That seems rather… fanciful. I assume you’re assuming the common vector to be on her demonic side. While demons are effectively immortal, few manage to remain terribly active in the human sphere for a prolonged period of time. For my ancestor to be her father, he would have had to have been at large in the world and directly involved in human affairs for centuries. That seems patently unlikely… even if it were the case, it would still be a somewhat distant relationship.

“Do you eat human foods and if you do, why/what?” – Jonathan McCulley

While my demonic hunger must be fed, such fare alone does not sustain me. I also require an ordinary amount of human food, and a small amount of elemental fire and air of reasonable purity.


Bryony

“What would your dream meal include? If you can’t decide, please list different types of food you’re fond of.” – Jonathan McCulley

Oh, well… when you’ve been forced out on the open road as often as I have, you learn to appreciate the simplicity of a hot meal of common fare enjoyed somewhere safe and warm. Nothing fancy, nothing too much. Maybe just a joint of beef and some warm bread with butter melting on it, with a nice salad of garden greens in a rich, creamy dressing. A glazed ham with the bone in it. Some fresh berries with cold cream. Mashed potatoes with garlic and bacon and cheese. A bit of shepherd’s pie. A fillet of salmon.

That’ll do in a pinch, anyway.


Callahan

“Have you ever been in love?” – Fleur d’Elisabeth

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

“Dear Coach Callahan, Have you ever killed a dragon with your bare hands? If so, what’s it like?” – Jon

Whose hands am I supposed to use?

“Also, what’s your proudest accomplishment and/or kill?” – Jon

I’ll let you know when I’m done killing.

“What were the deities you killed, and why?” – Riley Gillis

1. Old.
2. Because they were there.

“What did you do to get on the Bureau’s pin up calendar 4 years running?” – Kevin Brown

I wasn’t running. They were just afraid of catching me.

And I’m not a lawyer, but to answer your other question: a successful attempt is still an attempt.

“Any offspring floating around out there, ‘out there’ including MU?”
– Sleet

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

“Also, your apparent desire to either kill Mackenzie or teach her to defend herself, would this happen to have anything to do with the proximity of a certain Grey Elf and her plans?” – Sleet

No, it’s got something to do with my proximity to being a teacher.

“How many Demonbloods have taken your class?” – Drudge

Every single one who has been at MU since I started. Every single one.

“What goes on or what went on last time you were in the Shift?” – Griz

Like the t-shirt says: Shift Happens.

“Who did you last kill?” – Griz

Leda, of course.

Wait, were you serious?

“Who is your worst enemy?” – Griz

I don’t think I could name a worst one. They’ve all kind of sucked at it, honestly.

“Coach Gillian, what is the most fun/entertaining (for lack of a better word) prank you’ve pulled at the expense of your students?” – Kaisar Ryu

That would be the part at the end of the semester when I tell them they’re ready to go out and face the world and all its challenges.

“What is the most amazing/awe-striking thing you’ve ever seen in your life?” – aesho

Ichor.

“What is the strangest weapon, either form-wise or enchantment-wise, that you’ve had a student bring to class?” – Brianhead

Some fucking hick brought a farm implement to class. That was pretty strange, but I rolled with it since it was actually an improvement over what she had been using. Then there was a loser who showed up with a pizza cutter one day… he’d lost his sword and was trying to pass it off as a weapon. He insisted you could ‘really fuck someone up with it’. I asked if he’d let me verify that. He decided to take an absence for the day instead.

“If you were given the opportunity to kill any living thing in the world except Mackenzie Blaise and Steff Johnson, who would you kill and why? Also, who is your favorite student?” – Chuck

If? Life is nothing if not a series of opportunities to kill things.

I don’t play favorites. It’s more fun going in the other direction.

“Who was the Elven Stag Warrior in your special ops group and do they have descendants at MU?” – A Random Pooka

Allianora Owl-Eyes… if she had any children, it was before I met her.

“Under what conditions did you grow up? Were you exposed to a lot of danger very early on in your life already?” – Marx

Grueling. I was sort of… raised in an institution. It wasn’t dangerous enough, though. I got out.

“What are you afraid of?” – Altima

Living forever.

“What race(s) are you?” – Lakart

I like to think of myself as human, spiritually.

“How many students have you killed just during classes, excluding those killed during things like the demonic rampage.” – KeAahr

When I started, I used to kill the most annoying, useless person in class at the start of every semester… technically, the waivers they had to sign covered that. Then some parents complained, the administration clarified a few of the rules… I think things have really gone downhill since then. Anyway, the “demonic rampage” was before my time.

“What’s actually tougher, a greater dragon or a demon?” – Kitari

Depends on the demon… and I guess the dragon, but if it’s a greater dragon then chances are the demon’s weaker.

“What did it feel like to feed Steff her own cock when you duped it?” – Purcell

I didn’t “dupe” Johnson’s johnson. I used a competition-grade mockbox to create a phantasmal weapon and used that. As for what it felt like… a lady never emasculates and tells.

“What is the purpose of law? What is the purpose of Chaos?” – Purcell

Don’t look at me, I’m not responsible for either of them.

“Which one is really your favorite frosh – Jamie or Ian? Or is it actually someone else?” – T.J. Hairball

Stupid question. First, I don’t play favorites. Second, why would it be either one of them? Third, if it was either one of them… one’s a gladiator, if a half-assed sort of one, and the other one’s a spoiled treefucking princess. Which do you think I’d like better?

“Have you ever had student sexually abuse each other with their mocked weapons, and how did you handle it? (Is hoping for something about quarterstaffs, spears, or axes)” – Lysaea

You got issues.

“What is it that makes you so special to be put onto a team of ‘special’ beings?” – Kriss Smith

I’m honestly astonished that you know about that but don’t know the answer.

“Why did you want to teach? Who have you pursued or have sleep with of your students or athletes?” – Jonathan McCulley

What? I don’t sleep with my students. I don’t sleep with my gladiators. In fact, I became a teacher specifically so I wouldn’t be allowed to.

“How would you react to the accusation that you are actually, in a way, kind of a softie?” – Lesath

With freshly administered evidence to the contrary.


Dehsah

“If you could wish for one thing– regardless of physical impossibility etc.– and be absolutely assured of getting it, what would it be?” – maculategiraffe

A plum tree, with my Dee lounging beneath its arms.

“Would you choose to be a man or a woman, given the choice?” – Guest

Of course not, silly.

“Also, what would you recommend to anyone, male or female or whatever, who feels as trapped and directionless in their lives as a halfkind?” – Guest

I’ve never felt trapped and most of my kindred receive plenty of direction, so… I guess I’m not the best person to answer this question?

Sorry!


Delia Daella

“What do you want your life to be like in 500 years?” – Fleur d’Elisabeth

Should I live that long, I would hope to be serving my family in whatever capacity my goddess deems best. I would be particularly pleased to see my daughter or other descendant take to the throne.

“Why do you put up with the rest of the major characters? And what would one have to do to develop your level of patience and diplomacy?” – Miss Lynx

It is neither just nor charitable to hold others to the same standards as one has been raised. I pray often for patience equal to the trials I will face. If I appear patient to others, I can only surmise that the prayers have been answered in some form.

“Protocols and honor-to-the-family aside, based purely on the choices they make and the person they are, who of everyone you know (including people back home and people on the surface) do you respect the most? Why?” – maculategiraffe

Respect that is deserved is not measured out so finely that it can be easily weighed against other respects. I have great respect for the soldiers of my house and my city, for the priestesses who serve our goddess, for all who give birth, and for those who teach.

“What’s been your favorite new experience since coming to the surface?” – Ganryu

Neither ice nor cream are available in any great quantity in my homeland. The discovery of the transformation that cream undergoes when iced in the appropriate manner has been interesting, to say the least.

“What is your opinion of the argument that by allowing the dangerous and unstable creatures with which you co-habitate to live unchecked, when you obviously possess the skills with which to neutralise them, you are personally responsible for the death and destruction they bring upon the mothers and daughters of the world?” – Corin

Under the theory advanced by this argument, would I be more responsible or less responsible for my current neighbors’ hypothetical rampages had I never come to Magisterius University and thus never have been in a position to prevent such in the first place?

I shudder to think of all the deaths I have thus far failed to prevent at the universities I selfishly chose not to attend.

“What event made you decide that you needed to receive an education from a university on the surface instead of sticking exclusively to your traditional schooling, and/or how did you select MU as your college of choice instead of some other surface school?” – Dr. K

To the first part of your question, I can only respond that it was a personal revelation and it will remain so. To the second part, Magisterius University was the nearest suitable institution to the exit point at Ceilos.

“What do you really think about your fellow dorm mates? How do you feel about the treatment of Golems?” – Amarys

It is difficult to give a concise yet accurate answer to the first question, because my neighbors have proven themselves to be a far more diverse and heterogeneous lot than I would have credited before meeting them. Most of them mean well. All of them have their redeeming qualities.

“What do you regret the most? Something you actually did, please. And thank you.” – Marx

I cannot precisely articulate this, and I fear it would be improper to do so. It touches upon my mother and the circumstances of my birth.

“Are you worthy? Do you understand the question? Do you know the answer?” – Bau

I hope to be. Not really. Probably not.

“Why do you dislike Puddy so much?” – Amelia

A dearth of charity.

“Dee, could you face the prospect you seem to have recommended for Steff, to live the rest of your life effectively locked up? What about the consequences of Mackenzie going home with her grandmother? Would you choose it if what seems to be the predicted outcome of that was what would happen to you? ( I hope that last question made sense)” – Bookwyrm101

I do not see the point of this line of inquiry. I wouldn’t blindly recommend the path set out before me for anyone else. Is it meant to prove something if I wouldn’t take the path I have recommended for Steff? What is to one person’s benefit may prove detrimental to another. Should I not offer Steff a bread roll if I would not also consume it myself?

“Do you ever pleasure yourself?” – Jonathan McCulley

The realities of living in a communal student residence on the surface world make it difficult to maintain the necessary state of purity, but I have done so.

“What do you intend to do after university?” – Lesath

I have faith that by that time, the next part of my path will have been made clear to me.

“do you ever get tried of being a leader and wish to just reat for a while?” – Ruby

I do not see myself as a leader. I believe my trajectory of my life will likely put me into a leadership position. It is possible that my present experiences will in some small way help to prepare me for this.

“What do you miss most about home?” – greg

In no particular order: my lovers, my mother, and the relative quiet.


Embries

“Why work at MU? Especially as such a sidelined position? Wouldn’t a greater dragon such as yourself deserve the position of Chancellor, or perhaps something higher, outside of academics?” – Zarancorde

Ah. I must confess, I find it rather amusing that you imagine Chancellor of a university to be appreciably closer to what I deserve than my current position. One imagines the humans’ Lord Khersis incarnating himself once more and, having been made deacon of a local temple, remarking that he would be a better fit as a priest.

Well, the income is a nice touch. It’s a drop in the proverbial bucket, of course, but I enjoy such drops. It is better to have a little money coming in than none, after all. The work is light, the hours are agreeable, the, ah, shall we say “fringe benefits” are most pleasurable and it gives me something with which to occupy myself while waiting for the humans occupying the area to move on or die out. It happens that my kind have a natural talent for administrative work… some of my less great cousins are employed similarly at various levels of the imperial bureaucracy.

In any event, the exact title notwithstanding, you may rest assured that I wield more power within the university than the actual Chancellor. She is the ceremonial public face and fundraiser-in-chief; but I am the true head administrator.

“What is the most awe-striking thing you’ve ever seen in your long life?” – aesho

A mirror.

“Which sentient race tastes the best?” – Altima

Ah, well. They all have their points, but gnomes are too small and very easily overlooked, dwarves are quite tough in both senses of the word, elves are frequently more trouble than they’re worth.. Ogres and other giantkin might seem appealing given their size, but they are really quite gristly. Goblins and other creations of the crawling chaos don’t make for a very healthy diet.

For my money, it’s humans. Humans are of a good size, as far as those things go, and their bodies are quite adept at putting on flesh in times of plenty, which their natural ingenuity all but guarantees will be frequent in the better parts of the world. This same ingenuity allows many modern humans to go through life with a minimum of exertion, resulting in an excellent marbling of the meat.

I have heard some wax philosophical about the more esoteric qualities of the humans’ lives… which are short, as such things go, and poetically characterized by passion and drive… and how these qualities allegedly imbue their meat with great flavor. To me, all their brief lifespan and ambition mean is that we are unlikely to run out of them any time soon.

“No, but seriously, would you contemplate eating Amaranth, and would that count as a salad for you? Has any dragon considered that since field nymphs are reborn, having a village local to you with a bunch of nymph tended fields would allow you to eat people regularly without diminishing your local villages numbers?” – monkey man

I surmise from the second half of your query that the lady in question is of the nymphly persuasion. Dame Khaele frowns rather strongly on the exploitation of her little embodied spirits… any dragon clever enough to strike up an arrangement with humans would, I hope, also be clever enough to realize that it would hardly worth the inconvenience of a goddess’s wrath.

“What did you have for dinner?” – k

Last night? A preparation of marinated ground steak after the orcish fashion, topped with onions and capers, along with seasoned new potatoes and a salad comprised principally of spinach.

Really, this ongoing interest in my dining habits borders on the perverse.

“What do you find most interesting, most challenging, and most fulfilling about working at the bequest of MU?” – Purcell

I will assume you meant “behest”. I have not been engaged in this pursuit for long, so I would have to say that nothing has really managed to catch my interest yet… though I feel that recent events just might qualify. The most challenging thing is attempting to balance the interests of the myriad people and beings of various levels and types of powers who are for one reason or another interested, invested, or involved in the school. The most fulfilling thing is the opportunity to occasionally take a direct hand in the education of some of the finest young minds of the human Imperium, so that they don’t wind up indebted to someone else.

“How many secretaries have you had since Jillian started working at MU?” – T.J. Hairball

Each of them, in turn.

“Does your aura cause mortals to want to be eaten specifically or just want to meet your needs or something else?” – Jonathan McCulley

I could not say what mortals experience in my presence, though some seem to be more susceptible to my, shall we say, majesty than others. I’m embarrassed to say that upon seeing me in my native form more than one person has fallen down to worship me… while it was flattering, that’s just not something I’m interested in, and in fact it comes near to violating a sort of “non-compete” agreement to which I am party.


Feejee

“If you had to choose would you rather have Mack as a friend or as a meal?” – Darioc

Call me greedy, but I prefer to have her as a friendly meal. It seems more… special, I guess, that way.

“Did you ever have food so good it was almost as good as sex?” – cnic

“Sex” isn’t something that the folk have, among ourselves. It’s kind of fun, but still I’m not convinced it’s as good as, you know, real food.

“You said at one point whales and dolphins are sentient. How do your people know this; are you in contact with their societies? What other intelligent races are there under the sea that you know of?” – Pope Lizbet

Oh, well, you know, we talk to them. Usually long distance… sound carries a lot better down there.

There aren’t really a lot of races that surface people would probably recognize as intelligent… actually, from what I can tell it seems like a lot of different stories about our folk living in different places and with different customs or slightly different forms end up getting named as a separate race: sirens, tritons, merrows, and so on… it’s like people up here expect the oceans to be full of different races in the same way the land is, but they only thing they can find that sort of look like them are us folk, so they look at different accounts and go: oh, these are the aquatic elves, and these are the ocean nymphs, and these are the sea demons…

That’s not to say that we’re the only intelligent race in the water. Oh, no. I think we have a different perspective on intelligence, though. Like, we don’t have a divide where it’s ‘oh, these are the smart races’ and ‘these races aren’t smart.’ Like, you can have a conversation with cuttlefish if you understand their sign language, and some types of squid and octopus are almost that smart, and as you go through them you get to some that are less, you know, “people-y”. But, you know, it’s not like there’s a cut-off point where we go, “Okay, you’re stupid compared to me so it’s okay to be a dick to you.”

There are civilizations in the water. There’s art and poetry and music and dancing. It might not look or sound like what people up here are expecting, but it’s there.

Of course, this makes me think about the things that live in the real deep. They don’t show what we think of as intelligent. I kind of wonder…


Finbar

“What is your favorite legal or otherwise substance to take or eat?” – Jonathan McCulley

What’s my favorite substance to take? Gold, of course. I’ll take all I can get. Why else does anybody become an alchemist? Lead to gold is pretty expensive, in terms of energy and materials, but give me some quintessential water, a handful of reagents, and a campus full of spoiled kids and I’ll turn it into gold in no time flat.


Gloria

“What do you think of ‘Brimstone’ now that you know she harbored and raised a half-demon?” – Altima

I do not actually know that. I hope you will forgive me if I do not immediately take the word of a stranger that it is so.

“Also, did you *really* not notice Mackenzie staring holes through your breasts?” – Altima

She was fairly blatant about it. I saw no reason to be uncharitable about it.

“Did you write the Brimstone Blaise fansite?” – Riotllama

I would not know how to do such a thing. I will have to ’gaze’ upon it, though.


Goldman

“How would you react to the suggestion that your profession is ‘the science of magic‘? How far do you think human knowledge can discern the workings of magic?” – Lesath

I’d say “philosophy” is a better fit. Thaumatology shares some outlooks with the earlier scientific attempts at understanding magic, but it’s done with greater humility (this is why all the really clever thaumatologists engage in self-deprecating humor), because the answer to your second question, of course, is ’as far as it lets us.’


Gwynedd

“Why do you like Viktor? What are your kinks?” – Jonathan McCulley

i do not have any kinks. i do not have any limits. it does not matter why i like Him or even if i like Him. all that matters is that He finds me suitable for His use.


Hall

“Are there celestial beings and if so what are they like?” – xaddom

Oh, there most certainly are celestial beings. The lore available on them is actually less complete than that on infernal beings… demon lore is sketchy in places, but angel lore is ‘sketchy’ in different ways for different reasons. The common consensus is that unlike demons, celestials have no restriction on descending to our world, but they also seem to have less desire to visit.

The really interesting question to me, though, is this: what (and where) are the celestials’ counterparts? Most people would be quick to say that this would be demons, of course, but history, lore, and the Librum all tell us that demons were mortal creatures of the material realm prior to the events of some scant thousands years ago.

Who, then, were the original inhabitants of the infernal regions? If they had stood empty for all time before that, what was their original purpose? Sunday school theologians postulate that they were created by Khersis Dei in an act of divine foresight, but the Librum itself does not make this rather hard-to-support claim.

Oh, I’m sorry. You were asking about celestials. Pardon the digression… my knowledge relates more to creatures of the material world. Perhaps a trip to the library would be helpful.


Hart

“Do you enjoy teaching lower or upper division level classes?” – Jonathan McCulley

I enjoy teaching, period… that makes the constant interruptions to it really aggravating. Lower division classes are more predictably frustrating. By the time most people reach their fourth year, they’ve either shaped up or shipped out… which means only the worst assholes are still a problem.


Hazel

“What do you like most and least about being so far from home?” – Ilona

What’s home? I haven’t been home since we lost the boat. Logfallen might have become home eventually, but… anyway, there’s not much back there to miss, is there? It’s a fine enough place in its own way, I suppose, but the people here… they’re not always the politest lot, but they can be decent in a way that’s often lacking. And the food… there’s maybe not so much craftsmanship in it as I’m used to, but the convenience of it all…

Magic warmers? Ice boxes that don’t need ice? Anything you can think of, already cooked and in a can or box? It’s indifferent cooking, of course, but a little ingenuity can fix that.

“What is your favorite food or dessert, and would you be willing to share the recipe with us?” – Kaleidoscope

My favorite dessert? Well, I haven’t met a bad one yet, but… there’s something about a good, crisp apple, drizzled in honey. Maybe with a handful of raisins or nuts scattered over it. It’s a simple thing, but sometimes… sometimes I like simple things.

My dear, do you deny being prego becuase your scared, or…other.” – saralynnski101

Because I’m not bleeding pregnant.

“What, exactly, have you done sexually with your boyfriend?” – Lesath

Oh, ho… the stories I could tell.

If I were the type to tell stories.

Which I’m not.


Honey

“What happened that has you all riled up about the police?” – Bob

What? Who told you I have a problem with the police? They weren’t supposed to… because it’s not true. I don’t even know what you’re talking about.

“Is ‘Honey’ a nickname, or an alias?” – Lesath

What is that even supposed to mean? It’s a nickname. The b… the people back home called me it, because I liked to drink honey… tea. Tea with honey.


Ian

“Does it bother you that you aren’t as special as Miss Mackenzie’s other lovers? I mean, Steff has all sorts of interesting, ah, hobbies and appendages. And then there is Amaranth, who is a fucking nymph. For Khersis sake, boy! How can you compare to that? You’re just Joe Shmoe. Another average human. Dull. Replaceable. So does it ever bother you that you aren’t as special as Miss Mackenzie’s other lovers?” – Moofable

Uh… I’m just fine not being as “special” as Steff, actually.

Thanks for asking, though.

Really.

“What’s the hardest part of your relationship with Mack?” – Brianhead

Heh.

Seriously, though, it’s other people. They mostly leave me alone when she’s around… I don’t think they realize how scary she can be, or how frightened they can be, maybe. But I get a lot of shit she doesn’t see. I don’t like to rub her face in that. She’s got enough problems.

“Just what did Callahan do with that massage oil…” – Bau

She gave me a massage.

“Are you prepared to deal with the consequences when your dad flips out over Mack and cuts you off?” – teribeth

No. I will if it happens, but I’m not prepared. I don’t know how you’d prepare for that, exactly. Be independently wealthy and emotionally secure?

“Exactly how do you feel about Steff, having expressed annoyance for her, and some hesitation when you learned she has a penis? If it was up to you, would you be Mackenzie’s only lover? What do you see in Mackenzie, and what kind of ‘amazing person’ could she become?” – Melissa

If I was going to put up a serious objection to Steff, it wouldn’t be because of the penis. That threw me. I don’t really care about Amaranth. I’m kind of in favor of her, actually, I guess. I think she’s good for Mackenzie, and maybe if they keep hanging around each other eventually Mackenzie will be good for Amaranth. I’m… I don’t want to sound totally ignorant here, but I’m not sure how much Amaranth can change.

“Has there ever been another boy you even thought about kissing or sexing?” – Ruby

No. Just… no.

“When it is all said and done do you see yourself marrying Mack?” – AV

Dude. We, like, just met. Do I think she “might be the one”? I don’t even know if I believe in “the one”, and I’m not talking about that polyamorous stuff.

“How do you like being in a queer, kink, and poly relationship? Have you came out to anyone as any of those things? Is there anyone else you are interested in having a relationship with? How and at what point do you think you would communicate this with Mackenzie? In what ways would a new relationship of yours effect you and Mackenzie? Do you have any fantasies you are too shy or embarrassed to tell Mackenzie about?” – greg

Uh, I don’t think I’m really in a “queer” relationship. I’m in a relationship with one, maybe two girls. I can’t argue the “poly” part but I’m not even sure I’d call it a kink relationship. It’s a relationship with people in it who do some kinky stuff. Even if it’s technically a poly relationship, I’m not interested in having a relationship with anyone else while I’m in it. As, you know, as… much as Amaranth is… well, I wouldn’t be going for a relationship with her if she wasn’t with Mackenzie. If nothing else, two unconnected relationships seems like a lot of work.


Iason

“Why do you stay with a boy who can’t accept you for who you are, or give you even a little credit for trying to meet him halfway?” – ceres

The heart wants what it wants, no matter what the hart wants. He will come around eventually.

“What will you do if Jamie (Iamie) leaves you for good? Please don’t dissemble – answer the question, and don’t just tell me that you know you can keep him/get him back/make him want you.” – Sebatinsky

You have given me contradictory instructions. Why is it the habit of human males to ask the impossible of me?

“Would the human equivalent of your name be Jason, or is there actually a translation that would be more accurate (rather than a similar sounding name)? Do people ever call you Jason thinking that it is simply your accent that makes it Iason, the way it does with Jamie’s name?” – firedragongt

I understand that the human name “Jason” is a corruption of the elvish. When a human refers to me as “Jason”, I simply assume that he is addressing me after the human fashion.

And ignore him, accordingly.


Iolana

“what is the benefit of being a virgin where you are from?” – jewelledfairy

I’m getting kind of sick of answering questions about this. Is it really that strange? I read a lot of books from the mainland and maybe they’re a few decades out of date, but it doesn’t seem like things were all that different here.

“Do you know Gloria?” – Jonathan McCulley

Oh, do you mean Gloria Dhambizao? Yes, actually. I kind of do. I met her in the first meeting of the Language Club. She seemed kind of put off by something. I haven’t been to all the functions myself, but I don’t think she’s been back. I’m hoping she’ll show up at the humans of color and non-humans united against racism thing, though, because I’d like to find out some more about the Argentus from her. I’m thinking about spending a summer doing a field study thing there, if I can figure out how to pay for it.


Iona

“Wanna go for a swim?” – A Random Pooka

Certainly.


Jamie

“What is the source of your fascination with Mackenzie? If she interests you so much, why don’t you introduce yourself to her?” – Eric M.

Wait, what?

Fascination? The girl’s like a crazy attention whore or something. I’m supposed to go introduce myself to everybody who makes such an ass of themselves that I can’t help noticing them? Well, I guess that would still pretty much be her because nobody else on campus seems to need to dominate everything that happens the way she does.

“Why do you continue to tolerate Iason’s emotional abuse of you? It’s not cute or trying hard when people make it clear your boundaries are a challenge, not something to be respected.” – Pope Lizbet

Yeah, if he’s trying hard at anything, it’s figuring out how to get me on his terms with as little consideration for mine as he can give. And yeah, that’s not cute. But I think he could do better if he wanted to.


Kai

“What are your long term plans, once you get your degree?” – JBluphin

Not looking back.

” What is your home country like?” – Eldaah

The island nation of Yokano is the easternmost island in the chain known in Pax as the Sunward Islands. It is the only island in the chain inhabited solely by various races of yokai (“beings” or “people”, in their native tongue), who are thought to originate upon it. The other islands are populated mainly by humans and yokai, with a small minority (less than 5%) belonging to other races.

Yokano operates under a system of constitutional feudalism with an emperor at its head. Though its caste system is not formally tied to race, considerable disparities of opportunity exist among the yokai races, with the draconian tatsuyokai in particular accorded a semi-divine status.

Source: Encyclopedia Metropolitan, 771 RNE

“Also, why do you hate Mack? It’s not as though she acts out of pity for you but out concern.” – Eldaah

Your “question” depends upon the opinion you have attached unsolicited. I do not share that opinion so I regret that I cannot answer the question.

“Do you think there is a possibility that you could be friends with her?” – Eldaah

In this life, anything is possible.

But no.


Lee Jenkins

“What is your personal opinion on Mackenzie Blaize, not factoring in your professional duties?” – Drudge

Personally I find Ms. Mackenzie Blaise to be an upstanding young woman who is beset by prejudice and other unfavorable circumstances.

“Tell me about your fiancée! How did you meet, plans for the future, etc…” – JBluphin

I actually met her at university, back east, when I was doing my undergraduate degree. She was protesting a hike in fees… she asked me what I thought about it and I said I hadn’t really given it any thought at all. She hit me in the head with her sign. She apologized immediately, of course, and then asked me if she could buy me a coffee
to make up for it.

She later admitted she’d only hit me so she’d have a reason to buy me coffee. It was… flattering.

Our plans aren’t that exciting, I‘m afraid. I’m staying on with Pendragon & Associates, of course, and she’s looking for a job in the school system.

“Why is Embries interested in you?” – Jonathan McCulley

I’m not in a position to speak of the motives or interests of Mr. Embries. He is a valued client of Pendragon & Associates and I hold him in the highest possible regard.

“What do you find attractive about your wife or why do you love her?” – Jonathan McCulley

My fiancée, you mean… let’s not jinx anything just yet. K’thindi is… well, she’s strong, she’s passionate… sometimes about the most random things… and she’s beautiful.

You know, on our first date, she took me to an archery range… I hadn’t picked up a bow since I was a ranger cub, and when I told her that she stopped in the middle of giving me a lesson and said “Oh, so you know all about this, then.”

I tell people that she has the most beautiful laugh, but what I really fell in love with was the way I laugh when I’m with her. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed like that before.


Karl, Son of Krieg

“Why did you decide to drop your elven history class? Would you still have dropped it now?” – Jonathan McCulley

“Would I still have dropped it now” in light of what, exactly, and what’s it to you, either way?


Lord Khersis

…was unavailable for comment.


Mackenzie

“I’ve been reading up on self defense type martial arts that work with weapons, and to me it does seem like a relatively academic as well as physical study. Everything that I see talks about things like leverage, center of balance, center of percussion, and other relatively brainy topics. Also, the basic reality of fighting with a weapon is that much of it is mental and judgement based, doing things like figuring out what your opponent is going to do or not going to do, rather than simply ‘pure’ physical prowess — weapons being great equalizers. What are your thoughts on this? Do you think you could approach this sort of thing more effectively if you looked at it this way?” – gavin

Um… you know, I haven’t really thought about that all that much, really.

I guess… maybe.

“If you had to choose monogamy to one of your partners, who would you pick to stay with? Or would you rather die before choosing one above the others?” – Fleur d’Elisabeth

Amaranth, obviously… but there isn’t any reason I should have to choose. I mean, when you ask me if I‘d rather die, do you mean if someone came up to me and put a wand to my head and said, “Uh, you must choose one of these people to be with and not the others or I will kill you?”

‘cause that seems a little… farfetched.

And while it would kind of suck to have somebody take such an interest in my personal life that they’d enforce it with death threats, how melodramatic would I have to be to choose to die and be with none of them when I could live and be with one of them? I mean, if nothing else as long as we were all alive there would still be the possibility we could find a way to get rid of the psycho who likes proving hypotheticals…

Or is this a thing where because I was able to say which partner I’d choose and I said that I wouldn’t literally die without all of them, it’s just going to make the people who don’t “get” polyamory feel superior somehow?

I don’t want to come off like I’m some kind of expert on this thing I kind of just found out about and got into at the start of my freshman year, but… well, I kind of want to take my answer back.

I don’t feel like answering this any more.

“If you could eat one person, without any consequences, who would it be? (Them being alive afterwards is optional)” – Tychomonger

Um, that’s pretty gross. I don’t want to eat anybody, okay? I wish people would get that idea out of their heads.

“What is the worst novel you have ever read?” – Chuck

I‘d say Dawning Day, but I couldn’t even get through that.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, shirking schoolwork? I know it’s your first time in the big world, but you need to focus to even pass courses, let alone keep your scholarship.” – Bau

Um… fuck you, too?

I mean, thank you for your opinion.

“Do you even have a safe word? If so, how have you not ever even used it once so far?” – Constantly confused

Uh, yeah. It’s “basement”, if it‘s any of your business. I’ll use it if I need it… but don’t expect me to come running and telling you about it. I don’t know how so many people know so much about my personal life in the first place… I’m not sure I want to.

“Before you turned, did all animals tend to dislike you, or just dogs?” – zeel

I don’t really know. I never had any pets. Squirrels ran away from me and birds didn’t come near me, but I think that’s kind of true of anybody, isn’t it? I mean, I was kind of a loud kid.

“If you had a motorcycle that worked, what would it look like? What would it run on? Would magic or science or a mixture of both be used in its making?” – Melissa

First of all, are we talking about a ‘real’ motorcycle? Because that would have to run on science, but of course that’s impossible… I mean, we’d have to be talking about if I could somehow go to a plane where things functioned scientifically enough for a motorcycle to work because that’s beyond the power of even a wish, in the strict sense of the world.

Getting away from the technical definition, I did use to wish that someone (like, for instance, me… hey, it was my fantasy) would discover that the ancient scientists hadn’t been completely wrong, we just misunderstood them or something and so I’d be able to build a motorcycle… now I know that the only way that could happen would be if I enchanted something shaped like a bike.

Some people have done that, but it’s harder than making a carriage because the more “mechanic”-looking stuff you put on it, the less it resembles any kind of functional vehicle and the harder it is to make the enchantments stick… and it’s not like a bike is all that functional a vehicle to begin with.

“Also, how do machines in your world function? Are different parts enchanted to move or what?” – Melissa

Um… I’m sensing a bit of language barrier here. I gather you’re not talking about levers and inclined planes and things but I really have no idea what you’re getting at.

It’s possible to enchant something to move, of course… well, it’s called “enchantment” and it’s kind of lumped together with actual enchantment because it’s something that enchanters do, but it’s actually taking a spell that moves an object, binding it to the object, sustaining it permanently, and applying conditions to it so that it can be sort of modulated in some way (unless you just want something to keep going forever, but that’s how a lot of cautionary tales start).

When you say “different parts”… again, I’m not sure what you’re talking about specifically there.

If you’re talking about something with a bunch of different pieces that are going to be moving in unison, it’s best to treat them as a single object, unless the energy cost for enchanting an object that big is way too high… this is why airships are enchanted in pieces, though carriages are enchanted as a unit.

If they have to move separately, it’s easier to enchant them separately, and then link them through some “meta-spells” to coordinate them.

But I kind of have the feeling that you’re talking about something more complicated, like an arrangement of objects where one of them moves to move the other. That’s… sometimes people try to set up weird stuff like that for fun, but it’s not very practical.

Usually if you want something to move, you put the spell on that thing. It almost never makes any sense to use magic to move an object for the purpose of moving another object it’s touching.

I mean, okay, you can use a levitating platform to lift stuff and that’s easier than putting a spell on each and every thing you ever want to lift. But you wouldn’t want to put a spell on, say, a hand-like thing to make it lift the platform. Because if thing you’re putting the spell on is like small and weak compared to the thing it’s supposed to move, it’ll take a lot of power to make it do what you need, and if the thing it’s pushing on is smaller then it’s going to take a lot less energy to put a moving spell on it.

And that’s before you get into all the ways that it can go wrong if you try to do it the other way. I mean, if you have a levitating platform the platform’s not going to drop itself. It’s not going to break down or slip. The spell can be affected by anything that affect magic, but it’s not going to like randomly fail when you need it most.

“And finally, do carriages currently have drivers and horses, and if not, did they ever?” – Melissa

What, are you reading about modern life in the Imperium from somewhere that doesn’t have industrialized enchantment or something? People still make horse-drawn carriages for, like, romantic tours or fancy processions or something, but if you read something that mentions a carriage or a wagon that doesn’t specifically mention livestock, chances are it’s enchanted and doesn’t need them.

Really fancy carriages that would have had a driver and footmen back in the day usually have a “driver” who does the job of the footman, whatever that is, and gives direction to the vehicle so that the owner doesn’t have to stoop to even briefly interacting with it.

“If you were to look into the mirror, erase objectiveness and paint a picture of yourself with words, what would those words be?” – Lysaea

I don’t understand what you mean by “erasing objectiveness”… are most people objective when they look at themselves? Do you want me to describe myself subjectively? Yeah, I don’t think that would be a very healthy or productive exercise. I’m actually feeling kind of good about myself sometimes.

If you’re asking what I look like: kind of short. Well, maybe average-ish… I guess I slouch a lot. And I hang out with taller women. I have a thin build… I seem to be putting on a bit of weight lately but I’m not really getting bigger all around so much as just getting a little more padding in a few places. Most of them downstairs, sadly.

My eyes are brown. My hair’s dark, a little darker than my mother’s… okay, you don’t know what my mother’s hair looked like, but what I’m getting at is her hair is what I think of as dark brown and mine is darker than that. It looks black, unless you get a strand of it and put it up against something that actually is black. My grandmother used to chop it off kind of short… she stopped cutting it over the summer. It’s… kind of medium-ish now, I guess? Not down to my shoulders.

I have a hard time keeping it, you know, nice. I haven’t really had long hair since my mother… wait, why am I telling you this?

“Looking back now, do you find the story you wrote (Mecknights: Blaze of Glory) to perhaps show early signs of your bisexual/ lesbianism?” – Tenskulls

Um… no. There wasn’t any lesbianism in that story. I even made the main character male so I could pair him with Annie. If that shows anything, it shows how sheltered I was at that age. Most people were shipping Annie/Nurse Liz or Annie/Machina. The whole Machinannie vs. Annibeth thing produced some giant fireballs… I stayed the hell away from that mess.

“Why don’t you tell Amaranth about the buckets of water? It would most likely reduce the amount of hassle you get about your Grandmother?” – Curt

I don’t really like thinking about that.

“Have you ever asked yourself why your sexual preferences are the way they are, or is it not something you think about? If you have, what are your thoughts?” – Lesath

It’s not really something I think about. I think a lot of people, if they knew my history, would look at me and go “Yeah, mommy issues.”… and maybe that’s got something to do with why I find Amaranth so comforting, or at least why I feel comforted in some specific ways by her, but if something ‘made’ me be attracted to girls I doubt it’s something as simple and obvious as that.

“Do you realize that ‘science’ is not a synonym for technology, but a method of inquiry, and that if there are discernible rules to the universe then science is possible, even if human beings can never achieve full understanding and if not all imaginable technical developments are practical or more efficient than magic?” – Lesath

Pax isn’t your first language, is it?

Science is a concept… now woefully outdated… that holds that the world behaves according to rational, predictable laws that can be understood by mortal minds through organized inquiry. That’s the strict definition, though people also use it to refer to the hypothetical fruits of such knowledge and in a, you know, pop cultural sense, anything that strikes them as “sciency”.

I hope you’ll be able to keep this in mind when you hear people talking about science… though I’d think it would be obvious from context.

“If all professions paid absolutely equally, what would you want to do with your life?” – Lesath

Do they pay well or poorly? Well, I guess by definition they’d pay “average”… I’m just trying to imagine what sort of a life I’d be able to have on those wages so I know what my options are. Actually, I’d have to imagine how that would affect the price of everything, too, before I could figure that out. I’m honestly not sure what kind of society there could be that would be able to sustain itself under those conditions… maybe something like the Paradise Valley set-up, if I understand it right. But I’m sure their little community is still dependent in some ways on the Imperial infrastructure around them…

If you mean “what I would do with my life if I didn’t have to worry about money”, I think I’d probably write… but there’s not a huge chance of that happening. There really isn’t a lot of money in it… if you’re not like, ultra-popular and ultra-successful, it’s hard to even scratch out a living. I think I once read someone saying that the best advice they could give a new writer is “find a giant chest full of gold”.

If I could make money some other way, of course, I guess I could take up writing again and put my stuff out there some other way. The ethernet as we know it isn’t even ten years old yet. Who knows what it’ll look like ten years from now?

Meh, that’s a stupid pipe dream… you know, I’ll probably just stick with enchanting. If I do anything really creative it’ll probably be tied to that.

“You’ve mentioned a summer job before coming to MU. What was it? What did you do? How did you get it? Did your grandmother interfere?” – Archrylen

Uh, I was a night stocker at the super market in the next town. The guy who owned it offered me a job… he even got one of his other employees to give me a ride. The pay was pretty good, surprisingly. I found out later it was because they got robbed twice and he thought putting the word out that the ’local demon’ was there would stop it.

I don’t really know how much I had to do with it, but it wasn’t robbed while I was there.

Man, people around here really eavesdrop hard

“You’ve also mentioned your travels with your mother. Besides meeting the dryad, what are some other memories from that time?” – Archrylen

…but I guess they don’t pay attention. That was a school trip… I told my mother about it when I got home. We moved a couple of times within Blackwater, but we didn’t really have the money to travel.

“Would you consider attending another Mechan meeting with Amaranth and Steff now that Amaranth has taught you to be more open-minded of other’s viewpoints and how to state your opinion without resorting to name-calling and yelling?” – Nominal

Um, no. I’d have to be way more than just tolerant of other people’s viewpoints to actually go and seriously entertain that kind of garbage.

“If you could have your mother back for a day what would you do?” – AV

Find a way to stop time.


Maliko

“Have you ever considered what you’d do with your life if, for some reason, Sooni wasn’t around?” – Bramblepatch

Have you ever considered why you are so stupid and crazy and ugly and stupid?


The Man

“Did you seduce Laurel because of who her mother was?” – Fleur d’Elisabeth

Oh, now let me see… who was her mother, again, exactly?

I don’t know. Maybe I just liked her smile.

“What are the different types/levels of demons and which are you?” – EOI

Well… there are the ones who are on top, and there are the ones who are on bottom. I know which one I’m aiming to be.

“Any other kids we should know about?”
– J.A.T.O.

When you put it like that?

No.

“What’s your name?” – Computer Mad Scientist

Who told you I have a name?

“Do they have a special circle of hell for demons that make that ‘humanitarian’ pun?” – Computer Mad Scientist

It wouldn’t be that special if everyone was in it, would it?

“How many subtle artist girls have you had?” – Drudge

Enough for now.

“How many children have you had so far, living and dead?” – Drudge

None that have been both, so far.

“Why are you interested in the human world?” – aesho

It beats the alternative by a wide margin

“What do you need to survive?” – Guest

As if I’d settle for mere survival. I want to live… the organs I need to do that are ovaries.

“I’ve always been interested in the demonology department at Magisterius University. Since you are literally at the heart of the subject, what would I have to expect from the classes there? How do law, students and society deal with me learning about something that is so tabu, so hated and feared by humans?

I’d also love to hear how that whole demonic summoning thing works out.” – Baphomet26

Are you sure you’d like to ask me this, or would you rather ask a cow how husbandry classes go? Or maybe ask a newt about potion brewing… or a cadaver about the heart of necromancy.

“Has there ever been a half or quarter demon who was a natural subtle artist equivalent of Violet? If so, what was he or she like? If not, what would he or she be like?” – Altima

What, do you just assume we all know each other?

“What do you think of your half-human children? What would you want them to do with their lives?” – Incran

What does any man want of his children, ultimately?

“What will you do if Mack is found guilty of the murder she didn’t commit?” – saralynnski101

The same thing I’d do if she were found guilty of a murder she did commit.

“How did you get to the normal world?” – zeel

I’m afraid I haven’t found that one yet.

“How old are you?” – zeel

‘bout, oh… so old.

“Would true demon fire burn a half demon?” – zeel

I expect I’ll find out, one of these days.

“What do you do for fun?” – Jonathan McCulley

Oh, just about everything I do. Eternity’s too short to waste on non-frivolous things. See also: not content with survival.

“Do demons have the capacity for love?” – Beyond_Dimensions

As much as anyone else does, I expect.

“And if so, did you love Mack’s Mom?” – Beyond_Dimensions

I don’t believe that any man who’s walked the world has ever loved any woman more than I loved Laurel Anne Blaise.

“Is Mackenzie’s brother still out there and are you offering him the same help you are offering to Mackenzie?” – oldguy

Uh-uh-uh. The pretty lady peering in through the window already told you: no spoilers.


Mariel

“You tend to get into pretty violent relationships. Do you put so little value in your life? You are beautiful and amazingly talented, so, why do you settle for those that cause you so much pain?” – Eldaah

What? You don’t know me. You don’t know anything about me. My last boyfriend was an asshole, but I’ve dated other boys. Anyway, what’s this ‘value on my life’ thing? Just because I spend a couple of months with someone doesn’t mean I’m going to spend my whole life with them.

“What about Puddy do you like?” – greg

Are you kidding? Puddy’s just awesome. She’s funny, she’s not afraid of anything, and she makes me feel so sexy, like no one else ever has. I never even thought about lesbian before, but she was just so flattering…


Marlot

“You got the hots for Jamie don’t you?” – EOI

Oh, kosh.

Who told?

Was it Jenny?

I bet it was Jenny, that little ho.

I had her pass him a note that said “I LIKE U DO U LIKE ME CIRCLE ONE Y/N” and told her she had to promise not to tell anyone and she pinky swore that she wouldn’t but then I graduated 8th grade and stopped saying things like “the hots for.”


Martha

“I would love to ask Martha what happened to Laurel, as in how did Laurel die.” – kirine

Sadly. Stubbornly.

Predictably.

“Martha, if Mackenzie met your wildest expectations, what is the greatest thing you could imagine her achieving?” – Solnar

The greatest thing any child of her blood could hope to achieve is a quiet life. My wildest expectations of her are a far more terrible matter.

“What is the one way to remove a blood taint (demon bloodline)?” – lostZ

Child, what a question to ask. Is it not obvious that you would remove the tainted blood from a devil child the same way you would remove blood from any creature that has it, if you were driven to it?

“What happens when a demon DIES like you have threatened?” – lostZ

A demon is not a mortal creature and cannot be killed, but a demon that is bound to a mortal creature who dies is either utterly destroyed, or else lost outside of everything we know.

“What’s your opinion on slavery in the imperial republic. Do you see it as compatible or incompatible with Khersendom?” – prospero

There is Magisterion’s law and there is Khersis’s Law. The evils that men do to one another take many forms. All are incompatible with the Law. I would not weep to see slavery ended, but I would not expect this sinful world to be healed by it. The weak would be conquered, the poor would be exploited, and the defenseless murdered whether there are slaves or not.

“Is Mack the descendant of your (presumably-late) husband as well, or just yourself?” – Lysaea

I’m sorry, my hearing is not what it was. Would you mind stepping closer and repeating the question?

“Why did you keep Mackenzie around, knowing what she was? Why didn’t you just dispatch her life? Even if you kept her imprisoned forever, you will die someday and then she’ll be free.” – Lesath

Because she is my daughter’s daughter. Don’t you think I had made arrangements for the future? Even if they failed, I would have done my part. I’ll be judged for my own sins, not for anything my granddaughter does.

“And how do you reconcile the Khersian doctrine of ‘human blood, human soul’ with your belief that Mackenzie is destined to hell?” – Lesath

What is there to reconcile? Any creature with a drop of human blood has a soul as a full human does. Hers is tainted by her demon blood. That her demon blood condemns her no matter what she does is unfortunate beyond words, but it is not a contradiction and it will not be resolved by rhetoric.

It may be that I am wrong. I am a mortal woman, and fallible.

But I fear that I am not.

“Also, how is ‘Kenzie’ any more of a girl’s name than ‘Mackenzie’ considering it’s a shortening of Kenneth?” – Lesath

I’ve never met a man, Kenneth or otherwise, who would suffer being called “Kenzie“. It isn’t much of a name, but better for a girl than what her mother left her with.


Mercy

“What do your ‘puppies’ need to eat for their demonic hungers?” – JBluphin

Oh, I’m so glad you asked! Brutus needs a liver at least every three months or so… he prefers it fresh, live when possible. Cassius eats eyes. I’m not sure yet what keeps my darling little Lulu II going, but she seems physically healthy so far. My newest Puppy, of course, needs a little drink of virgin blood about once a month… talk about low maintenance.

“Who is your worst enemy?” – Griz

I think you mean “who was your worst enemy.”

“Would you rather end up as a smear on the wall via Mack Daddy, or would you rather he feed you to your pets?” – Altima

I don’t actually know the gentleman you mean, but you may pass along an invitation for him to try either of those at his own convenience.

I love the doctrine of self-defense… it’s the only way I ever get to kill any people these days.

“What did you do that you had to join Hydra Company to get a pardon for it?” – Grim

I am astonished that you know about Hydra Company somehow but don’t know that I am the most notorious assassin of my considerable lifetime.

“Tell us about your parents, and also, please, your age.” – Guest

My age? Honestly, if you weren’t a guest here, I’d stab you for your impertinence.

“When you have an army of demonic slaves with which to rival the gods themselves, what do you plan on doing with the dark elves?” – Abeo

I don’t see why I’d have to do anything. Do they care what happens up here? The last thing I’m going to do is go rooting around in every dark hole to try to get them out. Under the world’s a lot bigger place than on top of it, you know.

“Is it only Half-Demons you collect, or is that just your current obsession?” – Kriss Smith

Oh, please! You make me sound like one of those crazy pet hoarders. I’m more of a “horder”, if you’ll pardon the pun.

“Do you know that Mackenzie Puppy has a sibling and do you think you would gain a hold on her if you possessed him?” – oldguy

What, I’m supposed to go track down another half-demon who could be anywhere, if he’s even still alive, when she’s already right here in Prax? I’ve been watching Puppy for a while… she honestly doesn’t seem that hard to “gain a hold on”. The only reason I don’t have her already is that other people… mortal children… grabbed her leash first.

Anyway, I’m already a little concerned about in-breeding. Puppy’s pedigree may have its strong points but I’m not sure I want that much aesthetic influence from her line.

“Where do you come from and how are you so unique –being not only a grey elf but a hermaphrodite as well?” – Eldaah

Okay, this bugs me a little but… I’m not a hermaphrodite, okay? And while I’m not going to argue with “unique” (it would be silly), it’s not that unusual among the darker-skinned elves to remodel the upstairs while leaving the original basement furnishings intact.


Missy

What are your feelings towards Marlot now? What did you like best about Jamie when things were going well with him?” – Ilona

Marlot? LOL, whatever. I feel sorry for her… if I were that fat, I’d kill myself. And her boyfriend is just a hick whose family has a bit of money. Honestly, her life is so sad, I just try to stay out of her way so I’m not, you know, rubbing her face in it.

And Jamie? He’s so gay, I mean, I guess he was just trying to prove something with me or something. I can’t really be mad at him for it. It’s not his fault he was like, born gay, and then society made him think he had try to be straight. Sure, it’s pretty weak of him… I mean, character-wise or willpower-wise or whatever, but I’m sure he couldn’t help it.


Mother Khaele

“Which of the two daughters you have in MU are you more worried about?” – Atongarou

The one that imbibed an emotion-altering potion and attempted to rape a human child while under its influence.

“Would you share details as to the cause?” – Antongarou

Really, now?

“How do you feel about humans like Martha Blaise who refuse to recognize you as a goddess?” – Chuck

I hadn’t noticed.

“If Mackenzie had never gotten with anyone in her dorm, wouldn’t she have probably ended up in a somewhat more normal relationship with Ian?” – Constantly confused

I don’t know. Does it please you to imagine that a circumstance you dislike is somebody’s fault? Does it matter if it is? Things only happen once.

Questions like this are why I don’t encourage worship. If your prayer consists pretty much of “please validate my preconceived notions”… and a lot of the ones that are supposedly asking for clarity or guidance are… then I don’t really know how to answer it. That’s not something I have anything to do with.

“What happens when a nymph falls from your graces?” – saralynnski101

“Grace“? I think you’re thinking of someone else. I don’t do grace.

“Why didn’t you do something? I mean, why did you let your children’s ‘sibling rivalry’ go that far? And if it was more than just that, then why didn’t you help Barley?” – Tart

Ah, “why didn’t you do something?”

That’s the other prayer I hate.

I never know what they’re looking for when they ask it. There’s always so much presumption packed into it… I don’t mean in the fact that it’s being asked. I don’t honestly care about that sort of presumption. The sky is there. Why not shake your fist at it, if it makes you feel better? You won’t hurt it, I promise. Scream to the heavens. Chances are no one will be offended enough to do anything about it.

But the presumption that I did something or I didn’t do something or that I would have or should have done something…

You don’t know what I should have done for anyone. You don’t know what I have done or what I am doing. You are addressing me from the same blind and fallible point of view that has led my daughters to where they are.

“Is it possible for Barley to get back into your good graces or is the fall from Nymph-hood one-way?” – Curt

You know, there’s an old saying about what happens to you and me when you assume. I think I might have inspired that saying, actually, though it was really just him and not me who wound up with long ears.

“Also, is she fully mortal now?” – Curt

If she wants to be.

“If a cereal nymph is created by ‘a bunch of guys jacking off into a field’ how is any other kind of nymph created? What about fauns and satyrs?” – Lesath

Oh, other nymphs could be made in similar ways, if someone planted a tree or figured out how to plant a river. I didn’t really intend for field nymphs to be domesticated like that, but that’s the way it goes… if you leave anything lying around long enough mortals will figure out how to do things with it that you never dreamed of.

I mean, you should have seen the terror it inspired when they started doing magic.

Fauns and satyrs have always been able to take care of themselves, as far that goes.


“Mr. Law”

…could not be reached.


Pala

“Does anyone in your family wield a Hammer of a sort?” – J.A.T.O.

Yes! My Uncle Hallbjorn is a blacksmith.

“What do you like to do for enjoyment, as in fun, besides fight?” – Jonathan McCulley

For enjoyment as in fun, I like to sing and dance, and play cards and games of chance, and throw darts.


Puddy

“Who was your first crush? Did you ever have a relationship before Mack and Mariel came along?” – A name!

It’s hard to say who my first crush was. I was kind of a gifted child, you know. I bloomed early. What made that suck is it’s hard for a lesbian to get play in high school, especially in the midlands. I’ve actually banged more dudes than chicks, just barely, but none of those were relationships… they were scratching an itch my finger couldn’t reach.

“What did you do/take that gave you strength greater than that of a greater dragon back in the gladiator ring (you know, when Callahan had to pull out the Storm Giant to be able to take you out)?” – jinjen

I didn’t do anything but show up.

“I vaguely remember Mack voicing a suspicion that your ‘psycho lesbian girls gone wild’ tendencies got started at a summer camp- if I’m correct, what was that camp like? Was it fun?” – A dude

Pffft. If you listen to her, I’m sure I sound psycho… I think she’s got a persecution complex or something. I don’t blame her. I mean, she is persecuted. But when she acts like the people who are looking out for her are out to get her, too…

Anyway, what I told Mack was that camp was the only chance I had to hook up with girls before coming to college. It was hella fun… I was really popular. The older girls, like the counselors, really liked me because I would do things the others wouldn’t.

“What’s in the wine?” – Riotllama

Nothing but good old-fashioned liquid courage.


Rankin

“Why did you pick a career as a professor?” – Jonathan McCulley

Oh, well, it’s more of a calling than a career. My career was in a mid-level enchantment shop. The company was taken over by ICE… my position was eliminated, but I and many of my colleagues who’d participated in the employee stock plan from the beginning came out of the buy-out quite comfortably.

Faced with the prospect of a very long retirement, I returned to school at the age of ninety-seven to fill in some gaps in my skill set before I decided what to do for the next hundred years. To make a long story short, I took so long making up my mind that I found myself teaching classes.


Sara and Tara

“Are you two enrolled as one student or two? do you have to take separate tests?” – Darioc

What the actual fuck?

Seriously. What the fuck is wrong with you?

“How often do you need to put up with people who want to only see you as one person and your normal response?” – Lithos

At least one more time, I guess.


Semele

“Would you ever want to settle down with someone?” – Jonathan McCulley

I’ll settle myself down on the grave of my… I…

…really, I just want a woman to look into my eyes and tell me I’m beautiful. She doesn’t have to stay.

“What do you enjoy besides Sex and Theatre?” – Jonathan McCulley

Just talking with a group of friends looks like a lot of fun.


Shiel

“Which combat class did you take for the requirement and why?” – Lithos

Tactical Fighting. It appeals to my interests and seems more useful in the long run than a straight self-defense course. If I’m attacked by someone in the midst of human society, my ability to defend myself physically is not likely to matter… I could end up in worse shape if I managed to take out my attacker than if I just play dead.

Smith

“What other hazards are in the Labyrinth besides the ones that Mackenzie Blaise faced?” – Jonathan McCulley

Oh ho, you aren’t on my list of students… hoping to glean a little insight before you sign up, are you? Slightly clever, if not terribly original… every year there is a handful of first years who think I’ll let something slip just because they’re not yet part of the program.

It’s only slightly clever, though, because I’m not about to let slip the labyrinth’s secrets. I could hardly give you an exhaustive list, in any case… I doubt very much that any one knows all the labyrinth’s secrets yet.

While we discourage students from sharing too much information openly, some of the more common perils and the hazards of the more well-traveled sections have been much discussed over the years. The elemental incursion zones are well-known, for instance, and you’ll have plenty of time to learn all about their hazards before you have to face them… younger students hardly ever stumble into them without the appropriate protection and countermeasures. The ever-popular Thieves’ Den had already been long since picked clean of whatever it was originally guarding before the school was built here, but no one takes the upper level traps courses without expecting a run through either there or the Gauntlet of the Dwarven King.

Of course, we make little “adjustments” to such areas in order to keep every class on their toes… it’s easy to spot the cheaters who bought a strategy guide off a previous student. They move too confidently. They’re looking for landmarks rather than traps. They’re also far more likely to get caught or killed than someone who goes in without any plan but to keep his eyes open and his wits about him.

Then there is the knowledge that comes from listening to the horror stories that get whispered around campus, about such charming locales as the Forest of Night, the Ancient Battlefield, and the Banshee’s Boneyard… places of dread and import that were locked away within the labyrinth, and usually for good reason. But one archwizard’s trash is another one’s treasure, as they say. These curse-blasted blights on the face of the world are the perfect place to help train our next generation of practical problem-solvers.


Sooni

“Have did you realiezed that Maliko has been licking your panties?” – EOI

Learn to be speaking Pax! I cannot understand a word of your nonsense. It is clear to me that you should be in the remedial course and not I.

“What is love?” – Purcell

What is love? Love is the most powerful thing in the universe! Love is what binds the elements together! Love is the secret scientific ingredient for great fighting power!

“Who is your best friend besides Kai Kai?” – Purcell

That is Miss Mackenzie, my fierce rival who cares deeply for me despite her gruff exterior.

“What is your second favorite show?” – cnic

Oh, that is hard to pick! I think either Air-Powered Mechanical Girl Numata or Kagee Gankyo Usagi.

It isn’t Mecknights, even if I do remember to watch it more than stupid Mackenzie does.


Steff

“If society accepted you as a woman without questioning your gender at all, would you still be into death and ogres and necrophilia stuff or would you try to become a part of normal society?” – Fleur d’Elisabeth

“On the two-hundred and thirty-seventh day of the experiment, we tried yet again to find a way of asking ‘HEY, DOES BEING TRANS MAKE YOU ALL FUCKED UP AND SHIT?’ that didn’t amount to showing our ass in public.

The attempt failed.

There were no survivors.”

“If someone could wave a wand and your proclivities towards violence would cease… would you take the offer?” – Riley Gillis

If I could shake my wand at you and turn you into a different person, would you… actually, no. It’s not an offer. I’d do it. Bippity, boppity, bye-bye.

Seriously, who the hell is screening these questions?

“How has your views on the future of living in the bad lands changed now that you found out that you’d be too grossed out to actually humans, like the ogres do?” – EOI

I don’t know about that. One time, I accidentally a whole human. Is this bad?

I’m going to the queen of Kilrest. It doesn’t matter if I actually humans or don’t.

“If you could kill one person, without any consequences, who would it be?” – Tychomonger

I’d save it for a rainy day. Or the next person who tries to frame everything about me in terms of my trans-status.

“Was that guest-written story about xenophology majors at MU Canon or humor only? Oh the implications…” – Lysaea

Xenowhatnow?

That sounds like something from one of Mack’s kiddy comics.

“What have you, or would like to do to Jillian?” – Jonathan McCulley

What haven’t we done? Well, just about anything that most people would recognize as sex, because of the stupid rules.

What would I like to do? See above.

“Have you ever considered that Dee could do you some good in ways other than illegally giving you potions? For instance, her meditation and subtle arts techniques.” – Lesath

There has to be a law against something for it to be illegal.

And yeah, I’m really going to let a juvenile with no mental healing training who’s in therapy herself start poking around in my head. That sounds like a surefire route to inner peace and tranquility.

Let me tell you something: I’ve got it together better than Dee does. How can you tell? Because I’ve got it together enough to show that I don’t have it together. Don’t forget we’re talking about the girl who hypnotized herself into a coma and had to be rescued by that bug-eyed triclops who’s always hanging out with that mouth-breather from the fourth floor.

“Do you like dying people, as well as dead people?” – Scraps The Werewolf

I’ve always wanted to watch someone dying, in a way that’s slow, like hanging with a taut noose or bleeding out… something that’s inevitable unless released or reversed. I don’t know if I’d want to see them actually die (I guess that depends on how I feel about them?), but the act of dying, the process… that’s fascinating. I mean, it’s hot.

“How do you feel about death? – Scraps The Werewolf

Death freaks me right the fuck out, though. I think it’s because I’m so young and there’s shit I want to get done.

“Do you believe in any particular afterlife?” – Scraps The Werewolf

If there isn’t an afterlife, then I’m going to be wasting a lot of my education.

“What started your interest?” – Scraps The Werewolf

Y’know, I think my body has a lot of nifty features, but my navel’s never been all that interesting to look at.

“Does it ever bug you that most people seem to see you as labels more then a person? And was there ever someone who saw you as more then labels?” – Ruby

Oh, of course it doesn’t bug me… I have a very specific kink where I’m turned on by people who try to reduce me to a single dimension or fit me in a box that’s small enough to be tucked away at the back of the shelf.

But as frustrating as that is, I think there are plenty of people who don’t do it. That’s why I have friends.


Suzi

“Are you doing OK in class? It seems like your problems with speaking Pax would make it hard to do your schoolwork. Are you getting any tutoring or help from your friends?” – Bramblepatch

O hai!

Alkemah confuzez mi. I has a sad.


Teddi

“Is subtle arts talent a prerequisite for being a mental healer?” – Lesath

In general, yes. There are opportunities in the field of mental healing for insightful persons without any measurable level of telepathy, but to be certified as a mental healer you must be able to perceive and interact with the mind.

“Is that where subtle arts studies usually lead?” – Lesath

Yes and no. It’s one of the few areas where telepathy in particular can be used to build a career, but all varieties of subtle arts can be useful in multiple walks of life.

“Is it possible to develop skill with the subtle arts even if you weren’t born with it?” – Lesath

The short answer is no. The long answer is not really. Anyone with any amount of talent can learn to extend that talent to some degree through training, and there is dispute over whether this goes so far that someone with “no talent” can train up to “very little talent” or whether the individuals for whom this has worked actually began with “very very little talent”. Personally? I believe it’s the second one. But if you’re not telekinetic now, for instance, then you’ll probably never be telekinetic. Even if you did manage it, it would be a lot of work to be able to bend a spoon.

Basically, if you’re thinking about sending away for one of those courses, save your money.


Two

“On a scale of 1 to 10, how happy are you with your life right now?” – Fleur d’Elisabeth

………………………………………….

Five… and a half?

“How many years ago were you created?” – Tychomonger

Twenty-four.

“Are you learning new things in your classes? What classes do you take?” – Tychomonger

Yes. I only learn new things in my classes. I am not supposed to answer questions about my schedule to boys.

“Tell me about Kyle. Whoops, golly gosh. That’s not exactly a question. What are your views, thoughts, opinions, and feelings about Kyle?” – Moofable

My friend Hazel says I don’t have to answer questions to people who make me feel uncomfortable.

Do you ever want to not want to follow orders? Or if you had to choose between following orders and protecting something important to you, which would you choose?” –

I always want to do what I’m told. I want other things, too. Sometimes I want to do something else more than I want to do what I’m told or I don’t want to do a particular thing that I have been to do, even though I want to do what I’m told. The second one is harder for me.

“How do you keep from self destructing every time you watch your roomate do stupid things and end up with stupid consequences without ever seeming to learn NOT to do them?” – A Random Pooka

By not self-destructing when I watch Mack do stupid things and end up with stupid consequences without ever seeming to learn not to do them.

“What happened when you researched about demons?” – cnic

I was burned.

“Is there anything (apart from their vulnerabilities) that most demons got in common, and if yes, what?” – Marx

Yes. Demons are all human-like humanoids confined to the infernal realms except when a gate allows passage of their bodies and/or souls to the material world. They all must feed on something taken from a human.

“Who are the top five people Mackenzie would have been better off not knowing?” – Altima

I do not know everyone that she knows.

“Would you like my job?” – teribeth

I do not know.

“Now that you have a pretty good idea of what life as a free being is like, would you rather have your compulsion to obey removed, or be bound to a benevolent owner?”Sarah

No.

“Do you think there’s any chance that a golem like you and a guy like me could ever make it work?” – Jet Piston

If the golem is like me, she would not like to.

“Have you ever received a letter from your previous master?” – Purcell

No.

“If your old master dumped his inconsiderate woman and came back to find you, how would you treat him?” – Lysaea

I do not know.

“Would you like…want more stuffed animals?” – Jonathan McCulley

I do not know if I need any more. Handwash is pretty good at what he does.

“If you had or were given more stuffed animals, how would you go about naming them?” – Jonathan McCulley

I would look for their names. If I could not find names for them, I would ask my friend Hazel how I should name them.

“Do you want to date in general or anyone specifically?” – Jonathan McCulley

I do not want to do either.

“Have you ever, since being freed, disregarded an order without having been told to (either pre-emptively or retroactively)? Are there any circumstances under which you’d do this?” – Lesath

Yes.

Yes.

“Would you be interested in a mutual romantic relationship with a guy? If so, what do you look for in a potential partner? If not, are you okay with having guys as friends?” – Kestriana

No.

Yes.

“How would you describe the perfect person for you to fall in love with?” – AV

I don’t know how to do that.

“Do you have any interest in sex things at all, if they were done in a way that neither frightened nor hurt you?” – The Almighty Nick

If they were done to me I would like it if they did not frighten or hurt me but I do not have any interest in them.

“Does the concept of those things as being enjoyable ever occur to you or have your past experiences made that something that’s not going to happen on it’s own?” – The Almighty Nick

No.

No.


Viktor

“You totally killed Leda, didn’t you?” – maculategiraffe

I will not dignify that with a response.

“Did you murder Leda? I wouldn’t blame you if you did, I’m just curious.” – Computer Mad Scientist

Who is screening these questions?

“What would your life be like, if you had no obligations to family or minions?” – Amarys

Quiet, punctuated with music.

“What is the most delicious part of a human?” – zeel

Ogres do not eat humans for the taste.

“Re: your feelings for Steff. What are they? (i.e. do you *love* Steff, are you *in love* with Steff, do you even *like* Steff, do you see Steff as your responsibility….)” – Guest

They are none of your business.

“What is your Major?” – Jonathan McCulley

Music, with a focus on composition.


Violet

“Being subtle artist, how do you not realize what Barley has really done?” – Kail

Okay. I don’t know exactly what you’re talkng about (obviously), but here’s a quick lesson: telepathy means “mind reading” or “mental communication”. It does not mean “omniscience”. It does not mean “instantaneous knowledge of the entirety of another person’s being”. I don’t have some What People Really Done Sense that tingles when people really done something.

I get this one all the time. Not about Barley. I mean the whole “people who aren’t telepathic trying to tell me how telepathy works” thing. You ever see a comic book where the dude is saying one thing in one bubble and the thought bubble’s saying, “That poor sap! He doesn’t realize that even though I’m telling him blah blah blah, the truth is blee blee blee.”

Yeah, that’s an artistic device, AKA, a load of crap. Most people can’t think two coherent wordy-thing-streams at a time. What you’re saying is what you’re thinking.

Sure, a lot of times I do end up knowing people’s deep dark secrets, but that’s because as soon as I’m standing next to them they think “OH FUCK A SUBTLE ARTIST SHE WILL PROBABLY KNOW ABOUT THE TIME I MASTURBATED IN THE BATHTUB WHEN I WAS TWELVE.” Yeah, it’s really pretty stupid what passes for deep dark secrets sometimes.

Whatever it is Barley’s supposed to have done that I’m supposed to know about, she either doesn’t think it’s a big deal, or her idea of what happened is very different from yours, or she’s not had any reason to think about it around me. Maybe all of the above.

“Even though you are against sex because it is messy, are you against all physical intimacy short of it, such as kissing or cuddles?” – Jonathan McCulley

“Against”? I’m not against sex. I’m just not interested in it. Touching bodies is weird.

“Is synesthesia normally associated with subtle arts talent, or is it just a coincidence that you very strongly have both? Also, how does it make you feel that your own name/nickname/so-to-speak “mental aura” are the same colour as sleepiness for you? Finally, how long did it take you to cease to be shocked by the thoughts of others? Do you still ever hear things that creep you out or offend you? Have you learned to block out other people’s minds from your own?” – Lesath

Man, I don’t even know how other telepaths see or feel things… and I don’t know why I’m supposed to feel anything about what colors things are. How long did it take you to stop being shocked by the things you hear? I hear everything… if you know how many people are going around thinking about shit that would freak people right the fuck out if everybody could suddenly read their mind, and yet these people are just as normal and harmless as anyone else, you’d understand why it doesn’t bother me what the fuck people think about.

If you’re ever playing “Never Have I Ever”, say “Never have I ever randomly imagined someone decapitated, disemboweled, or dismembered.” Anybody who doesn’t take a shot is a fucking liar.

Hey, did you know you said “finally” and then asked three more questions?


Winnie

“Do you ever have cuddle puddles?” – Jonathan McCulley

Um, I don’t even know what those are. Let me do a quick gaze… what? People actually do that? Oh my kosh, that is so funny… I’m dying laughing here. Oh kosh, oh kosh… I hope Mel doesn’t find out about these.


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15 Responses to “Character Q&A (Finished!)”

  1. Granite says:

    “If you’re ever playing “Never Have I Ever”, say “Never have I ever randomly imagined someone decapitated, disemboweled, or dismembered.”

    Much laughter was induced by this. I wonder if you can drink to your own never have I ever, because I want to use the above quote.

    Current score: 1
  2. Nezumi says:

    Oh my god LOL! Gwynedd uses S/slashy speak 😛 shes a “twu submissive” *giggle*

    Current score: 1
  3. Christy says:

    Who’s Violet and where was she ever mentioned?

    Current score: 0
    • Lee says:

      She’s from the Other Tales of MU, as are a couple of the other characters.

      Current score: 0
  4. Daezed says:

    I always liked lee, but that final response made me love him, just a little bit.

    …..I want to wrap my arms around semele and tell her she is beautiful. I intimately relate to that desire.

    I adore suzi. I haz a sad that we don’t see more of her.

    Current score: 6
  5. pedestrian says:

    “Where did you get your glasses?” – Tychomonger

    Oh! I try not to talk about them too much, but… it’s kind of a long story, involving a scientist-wizard, and a balloon that travels between planes.

    This would be a Wizard of Oz reference?

    I was pondering, a female werewolf would be a bitch in so many different ways.

    Current score: 5
    • Reader says:

      Doctor Who, I’m guessing… But WoO works too.

      Current score: 2
      • zeel says:

        The Doctor travels around in a blue box, Oz has a balloon. His balloon can travel between worlds, as it took him from his own world to Oz, and would have taken Dorthy back. Also, he is a wizard.

        Current score: 2
  6. Khalex says:

    My heart just shattered for Semele.

    Current score: 8
  7. Anthony says:

    Steff, you can gripe about it if you want, but when *every single trans we see in the entire world* is massively screwed up in one way or another, no mattter which culture they’re from… it’s hard not to draw some sord of conclusion from that…

    Current score: 0
    • Daezed says:

      I don’t think it’s so much that ‘every single Trans person’ is screwed up, but more like EVERY person is pretty screwed up, be they gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, transsexual, straight, kinky, vanilla, or anything in between.

      I’ve met some supposedly ‘normal’ people who were pretty fucked up. I think that’s just part of that whole ‘human condition’ thing. Most of us are broken in some way or another, not just folks that happen to be Trans. If you could hear some of the fucked-up shit the people you think are more ‘normal’ think and fantasize about, I doubt you’d find Steff’s anywhere near as ‘massively screwed up’ as you do.

      Being a part of the majority does not make your/our/their issues any less weird than those of the minority.

      Current score: 7
    • Sahsa says:

      Wow… I would have guessed that the sort of transphobic pricks that would make a statement such as this one would have given up reading ToMU long ago.
      And here I thought prejudice couldn’t surprise me anymore. Congrats, I guess; reading that just made my day a little bit worse.

      Current score: 4
  8. zeel says:

    Eesh. I wish my questions and phrasing had been a little better on some of those.

    I love The Man’s response to the question about Mackenzie being convicted f murder – he’s not bother by whether or not it’s true.

    Current score: 1
  9. Athena says:

    This. Was. Amazing.

    So much amazing I’ve already forgotten half of what I was going to comment on down here, and there’s probably too much to go through it all anyway. Just… awesome. Love.

    Current score: 2
    • zeel says:

      That happens to me all the time. And this chapter… Wow, it’s easily the longest physically, though I wonder if it’s the longest word count.

      Current score: 2