I was treated again to fragmentary nightmares: running across the penthouse pool towards a rapidly fading Steff while dark shapes bit and slashed at my legs and pulled me down, Caron trussing me up to an X-shaped frame and hammering great big spikes through my parts of me, Mercy chasing me on a motorcycle.

My sex dreams had been strange and frightening to me before I’d been able to accept what many of them actually were… I would have hoped that being more at peace with my desires would allow me to enjoy them, but it seemed like I just plain didn’t remember them as often, if I was still having them… and in their absence I was getting these fun little scenarios.

None of my nightmares were complete stories. They weren’t even complete scenes… just snatches, vignettes. That made them worse. They could start at any time, repeat at any time, and they never ended. There was no conclusion until I finally woke up… or in this case, until Two woke me up with some less-than-gentle shaking.

It was a good thing sleep wasn’t ready to release me completely when she did, because it startled the fuck out of me to have a tiny, feminine hand grabbing my shoulder roughly at the same time when Mercy caught up to me and grabbed hold. I could barely manage a hoarse scream, much less a physical reaction.

“I’m sorry, Mack,” Two said. “I did not mean to frighten you, but you were shaking the bed. Also, it’s almost time to meditate with Dee.”

“Huh?” I said. “Oh… Dee.” I sat up slowly and yawned. “I haven’t really been keeping that up, have I?”

It was a rhetorical question, but Two didn’t even seem to hear it. Her eyes were locked on my bare chest. My first thought was that she was going to chastise me for not wearing anything to bed, despite Amaranth’s insistence that it was none of her business.

“You need to go to the healing center!” she said, her eyes huge as moons and luminescent in the darkness.

“What?” I asked.

“You’re hurt!” she said. She pointed at my nipple piercing. “You have metal stuck through you. You need to get healed.”

“Two, those are piercings,” I said. “Like earrings.”

“No they aren’t,” she said. “Earrings go in the ears and are pretty.”

“These are kind of pretty,” I said, trying to look down at my heart lock.

“No they aren’t!” Two said. “They’re stuck in your nipples. That isn’t pretty at all.”

“Well, thank you for your opinion, Two,” I said. “But these were a present from Amaranth, and they’re supposed to be like that.”

“Oh, okay,” Two said. “Are you going to come meditate today?”

“Yeah, I think so,” I said. “Has Dee asked about me, other mornings?”

“No,” Two said. “I asked her if she thought we should wake you up and she said you would wake up or you wouldn’t.”

“Oh,” I said. “I guess that makes sense.”

“It does make sense,” Two agreed, nodding sagely. “You would have to.”

“I’d have to what?”

“Wake up or not,” Two said. “I don’t think you could not do that.”

“I suppose you’re right about that,” I said.

“Yes.”

It was just past five thirty in the morning… Two’s interruption of my troubled sleep meant we had time to shower beforehand, which I chose to do because I’d woken up all sweaty.

When we got to the bathroom I kind of wished I’d decided to forego it… the place was a disaster area. One of the sinks had been plugged up and left on, resulting in a swamp centered around the drain in the middle of the floor. There were sodden wads of toilet paper stuck to the walls and rolls draped over the stalls and the curtain rods of the bathtub. The mirrors had been smeared with soap and lipstick and what looked like blood but didn’t smell like the kind that came from a vein. The artists responsible had written “FEEJEE PLUS MACK 4 EVER” in soap across all the mirrors. There was water all over the floor around the far right stall that couldn’t have been from the sinks, and the place smelled like… well, like a toilet.

Not a place with toilets in it, but an actual toilet.

Two looked like someone had punched her in the gut, there was so much wrongness all around. I didn’t want to keep walking, even in my flip-flops… there was too much moisture on the floor between us and the shower and I didn’t trust that all of it was water.

“Feejee is going to be in big trouble,” Two said, looking at the mirrors.

“Feejee didn’t write that,” I said.

“You did?”

“No,” I said. “I’d bet platinum to peanuts it was the Leightons, but see if Kiersta lifts a finger to punish them. You might as well go back to the room.”

“I want to take a shower,” Two said, looking across the bathroom at the open curtain. I could tell from the conflicted look on her face that she didn’t want to keep walking any more than I did.

“You should be okay using the next one down,” I said. I figured I’d skip it… I was more likely to encounter hostility for simply being out of perceived bounds than she was. “Don’t take any orders from anybody while you’re doing it, if anybody asks what you’re doing there tell them that ours is out of order, and if anybody gives you a serious problem just leave and come back up here.”

“Okay,” she said. “You aren’t coming, too?”

“No, I’m going to have a little talk with Kiersta,” I said. “Probably best if you’re not around, that way she can’t hold a grudge against you.”

“Okay,” she said.

We left the wreckage of the bathroom, Two turning left and heading downstairs while I turned right. I waited until I couldn’t hear Two’s footsteps and then knocked, firmly enough that I figured it would rouse even a drunken resident advisor.

There was no immediate response, so I knocked again. This time I heard blankets moving and the bed shifting, and then a crash of breaking glass followed by a groan.

“Kiersta?” I said through the door.

“Fuck off…” she moaned.

“You need to come out here,” I said.

“I’m sleeping.”

“You’re the R.A.,” I said.

“What the hell do you want from me?”

“I want you to come look and look at what your drinking buddies did to the bathroom!” I said.

I heard her coming closer and thought she was going to open the door. Instead she stopped at the other side of it and said, slightly more clearly and awake-sounding, “That’s your problem now.”

“No,” I said. “It’s not my problem. Cleaning the bathroom is one thing, but that’s just nasty.”

“It’s a bathroom,” Kiersta said.

“It’s vandalism,” I said. “And it’s disgusting.”

“You should have thought of that before you had sex in the shower.”

“I don’t even want to guess what they did in the shower,” I said. “And don’t forget, you’ve got to use it, too.”

“Do you think I would actually go in there? I shower in the fitness center.”

“Do something about it, or… I’m going to report you for drinking.”

“Good!” she yelled. The door ripped open inward and she was screaming in my face. “Do that! And when you find someone who gives a shit what anybody does in this hellhole, let me know!”

She stepped back and slammed the door so hard it bounced back from the frame instead of latching, then did that again before finally closing it forcefully but with her hand on the knob and locking it. Other doors were opening down the hall… Mariel, Maliko and Suzi, the twins, and both of the gnomes.

“Oh, of course,” Maliko said, looking at me before turning and going back into her room while Suzi stood there blinking sleepily. Sooni’s door opened and Maliko jumped and turned right back around, but it was Kai.

“Will everybody be the fuck quiet?” Kai shrieked. “Some of us have an examination this morning!”

Suzi’s head lolled to the side and she looked at Kai for a second before lashing out with one paw-like hand and swiping at her face. It was so random it seemed instinctive. Kai just stepped back out of the way and glared at her. She looked around the hall and spotted me, her lantern eyes locking with mine. Kai had no subtle arts that I knew of, but she might as well have been a telepath for how loud and clear I got the message: this is your fault and if it affects my grades, I will kill you for it.

“What in Owain’s name is going on?” Hazel asked.

“Hazel Willikins, bite your tongue!” Honey said, pinching her elbow and then making a tossing gesture over her shoulder.

“Er, I meant Owain,” Hazel said. I must have misheard her the first time, because I was sure she’d said that.

“Of course you did,” Honey harrumphed.

The Leightons, of course, could barely contain themselves through all this.

“You think this is funny?” I asked, stomping over towards them. Sara got a gleam of panic in her eye while Tara looked defiant. “Other people have to use that bathroom!”

“Oh, yeah, I guess you’ll have to find somewhere else to take Feejee out,” Tara said. “Hopefully your next date spot will be almost as classy.”

“People are going to have to start getting ready for class soon,” I said.

“Oh, wow, better get cleanin’, then,” Tara said. “And, in case you haven’t seen the shower yet… brace yourself before you go in there.”

“I didn’t do that!” Sara said. “That was all…”

“Oh, shut your mouth,” Tara said. “We didn’t do anything… we just got up early and saw it.”

“Wait a tick,” Hazel said, which I guessed was like shire slang for “a second” or something. “What did you two do to the lav?”

“The lav?” Sara repeated, and they both snickered.

“They wrecked the place,” I said. “Water, toilet paper… other stuff. It’s disgusting. You wouldn’t want to go in there with your bare feet.”

“Oi!” Hazel said, turning scarlet and smoothing down the front of her floor-length robe. “You don’t have to tell the whole world about that!”

“I thought you said ‘everyone does it’,” Honey said, rolling her eyes.

“Not the point!” Hazel said.

“We don’t know what she’s talking about,” Sara said. “We didn’t do anything. It was like that when we got there.”

“Yeah, all I know is that I’d hate to be the one who has to clean it up,” Tara said.

“Well, you’re going to be, because I’m not doing it,” I said.

“Kiersta said…” Sara said.

“Fuck Kiersta,” I said. “What’s she going to do? One shout to my lawyer and she’d lose her job,” I said, not having any clue if this was true or not but pretty sure Kiersta could hear every word. “I’m not cleaning up your mess, and if you don’t clean it up, nobody’s going to be able to use the showers.”

“That’s not our fault,” Sara said. “You’re supposed to clean it up. Kiersta…”

“Shut up about Kiersta,” I said.

“Hold on,” Hazel said, shuffling over. “I have a headache, I’m queasy, I ache all over, and I’m not a big fan of being woken up early in general. I have to get up at the crack of eleven today and the first thing I’m going to want is a shower. Is it going to be fit to use then, or isn’t it?”

“Don’t talk to us, bunny,” Tara said. She pointed her thumb at me. “Talk to the help.”

“I’m talking to you,” Hazel said. “Call me bunny again and I’ll kick both your arse.”

“‘Arse’,” Sara repeated, and they both giggled.

“What is wrong with you? Were you born in a barn?”

“Were you born in a dollhouse?” Sara asked.

“I was born on a boat,” Hazel said.

“Hazel!” Honey said, more urgently than she had objected to Hazel’s evidently profane pronouncement earlier.

“I don’t care who knows,” Hazel said to her. “I’m proud of it.”

“Honestly, I wish you could hear how you sound,” Honey said.

“I am!” Hazel said. “I’m proud of where I come from.”

“Why in the world would you be proud of your mother’s smelly, rancid cunt?” Tara asked.

Hazel turned a shade of purple-red normally reserved for eldritch abominations.

“Hazel… think about your condition…” Honey pleaded, sounding terrified.

I took a step back. As I did, I remembered Steff’s description of Hazel “going orcshit” over the term “motherfucker”… but that was only after I’d started backing away. I didn’t have to know anything about Hazel or her past behavior to see where this was going. I’d step in if things went too poorly for Hazel… the twins seemed pretty athletic and she was no fighter, though I thought the way Sara seemed to be trying to turn and scramble away while Tara tried to stand their ground might take away some of her disadvantage

“Hazel, they didn’t mean it!” Honey shrieked.

“Oh, I fucking meant it,” Tara said. “What are you going to do, bunny? Dig me to death?”

With an angry howl, Hazel charged forward, barreling into their legs and knocking them down. Tara’s arm punched her in the face while Sara’s flailed around, but she might as well have been punching an ogre or a dwarf’s skull for all that it slowed Hazel’s fury. She pulled herself up until she was straddling the twins’ torso and started punching at Tara’s head with alternating fists.

“Kiersta! Kiersta!” Sara shrieked as Hazel pretty much beat Tara’s face in.

More doors had opened. Everybody who lived on the floor was out in the hall except for the skirmishers, Celia, Leda, Amaranth, and Dee… and Kiersta, naturally. I was trying to figure out how to get Hazel off of Tara without hurting her, especially given her “condition” as Amaranth had diagnosed it. Tara was trying to push her off with her one arm; Sara was useless, sobbing with her eyes squeezed shut.

Before I could decide what, if anything, to do, a powerful force wrapped itself around me and yanked me backwards off my feet. I flew down the hall away from the melee, passing the swishing robes of Dee as she flew forward.

“Hazel Willikins!” she called as I landed on my butt halfway down the hall. “Be at peace!”

That worked about as well as you might have expected it to. Dee waved her arms in the air and became too bright to look at. When my vision cleared, Hazel was floating up off of the twins, a placid expression on her face. Dee guided her mentally back towards Honey while she herself crouched by the fallen form of the Leightons and grew bright once more as she gave them healing energy they didn’t deserve.

“Hazel, I wish you’d think about your daughter!” Honey said.

“I am not having any daughters!” Hazel said, snapping out of the divinely-bestowed serenity at once, but fortunately not reverting back to her state of unreasoning rage.

Sara suddenly started shrieking and kicking spasmodically. Dee stepped back at once. Tara groaned and touched her head.

“I apologize for any unexpected familiarity,” Dee said to them.

“Get away from us, you cowl headed freak!” Sara said.

“Somebody provide a concise summary of events, please,” Dee said, looking around the hall. Her eyes settled on me. “Mackenzie?”

“They trashed the bathroom,” I said coming forward. “Because Kiersta said I have to clean it.”

“Why under earth should that task fall to you?” Dee asked. “Never mind. I think I can surmise.” She looked around. “And then one of the twins said a word against Two’s friend Hazel’s departed mother, I suppose?”

“Hey, that’s right!” Hazel said.

“Let it go,” Honey said, grabbing Hazel’s sleeve.

“I believe you owe Miss Hazel an apology,” Dee said to the Leightons. “And then she will apologize to you.”

“Like hell,” Tara said, as they got to their feet. She groaned and clutched at her head with her hand.

“That goes for double for me,” Hazel said.

“I can’t force you to apologize,” Dee said. “But I’ll ask again once I’ve finished healing you, as duty…”
“You’re not touching us!” Sara said.

“Please,” Dee said. “I would not be offering if it were not dire. The most superficial portion of your wounds healed first. I do not believe the underlying damage is…”

“Go fuck yourself, drow bitch,” Tara said. “I’m not letting you do any more black-ass demon witchcraft on me.”

The twins turned to go back into their room.

“Go to the healing center, then,” Dee said. They both flipped her off. “Don’t let her fall asleep!” Dee called after them as they closed the door. “Willful… willful idiots!” Dee shouted at their door, then let off a stream of what certainly sounded like swear words. She turned around to face Hazel, her eyes narrow and her nostrils wide. “And you! Your kinswoman has the right of it! Does avenging the memory of your mother take precedence over the safety of your daughter?”

“I… don’t… have… a… bloody… daughter!” Hazel yelled. “I can’t have a daughter, I won’t have a daughter, I don’t have a…”

There was a pop and a flash of light and Hazel was asleep on her feet. Dee’s mental powers caught her mid-slump, tilted her gently back, and then floated her past a very stunned looking Honey into their room, where I have little doubt she continued floating until she reached her bed.

“Please try to keep her calm when she wakes,” Dee said to Honey, who snorted. “And, out of curiosity, how do you know she’s having a daughter?”

“Oh… um… how do you?” Honey asked.

“I was merely repeating what I heard from you,” Dee said. “But it’s the default assumption… or it is, among my people.”

“Oh… the same,” Honey said. “For mine, I mean.”

“I did not realize gnomish culture was so gynocentric,” Dee said.

“Oh, well, if a woman’s expecting we say it’s a daughter and if a man is, we say it’s a son,” Honey said.

“Indeed,” Dee said.

“I should get back to bed,” Honey said, hurrying into her room and shutting the door, then locking it.

Other people, apparently deciding the show was over and realizing just how fucking early it was, were also drifting back towards their beds. Mariel was still standing in front of Puddy’s room, staring at the bathroom door and then whipping her head around in a dizzying pattern down the rest of the hall before staring at the bathroom.

“Don’t be so fucking dainty!” Puddy grumbled sleepily from the depths of her room.

I sighed.

“We’ve got to do something about the bathroom. Or I guess I do,” I said. “They only did it because of me.”

“That doesn’t make it your responsibility,” Dee said. “Is it simply untidy, or have they… befouled… it?”

“I think it’s beyond befouled,” I said.

“I will see to it then,” Dee said.

“Dee, you don’t have to,” I said.

“Somebody must… I have never cleaned anything beyond the chapel floor, but I believe I can remove the mess without having contact with it,” Dee said. “No one else, perhaps save for Two, could do that, and she does enough cleaning after others as it is. Do you intend to join me this morning?”

“Uh, yeah,” I said.

“Good,” she said. “Please go downstairs and reserve us a chamber. I will join you shortly.”

“Thanks,” I said. I hesitated, torn. “Uh… are you sure you don’t want any help?”

“I need not touch your mind to see that you are hoping I will say no,” Dee said. “Your offer is appreciated, but your efforts would not combine effectively with mine. Thank you, but no.”

“Thanks,” I said, and I turned and I headed past Mariel for the stairs. Dee followed behind me. I glanced back from just inside the stairwell and saw that she was turning to face Kiersta’s door.

Part of me wanted to know what she was going to do or say, but most of me didn’t want to be anywhere near the kind of ass-chewing I thought Dee just might be able to administer.

Discuss this story.

Seven days… I wondered if they were going to be tender and raw that whole time. It hardly seemed worth it. I didn’t know how people with multiple piercings could stand doing it more than once

I skipped my robe, since I didn’t want it to get soaked, and simply hurried down to the bathroom in my wet underwear with my towel and robe in my hands. Feejee was dozing in her accustomed tub when I got into the bathroom. I did my best to be quiet and not wake her, but of course the water doesn’t come with a volume control.

“Hey, Mack,” she said sleepily as I was stripping off my slinging my wet stuff up over the curtain rod from inside the tub.

“Hey,” I said. “Have a good afternoon?”

“Say what?”

I opened the curtain.

“I said, did you have a good afternoon?”

“Oh!” she said, in a heart-melting, face-scrunching tone of voice that sounded like it was saying, “You brought me puppies! My favorite!”, “Did you do all that for me?”

“What, the piercings?” I asked. “No, they’re for Amaranth.”

“No, I mean… you shaved all your hair off down there,” she said. “I had been thinking how much better it might be… when I saw, I thought maybe you were thinking…”

“That’s for Amaranth, too,” I said.

“I thought she was an herbivore,” Feejee said.

“It’s not for… it’s a sexual thing, okay?” I said.

“Oh,” Feejee said. “I thought that hair down there was. That’s why I assumed you getting rid of it meant you… well, never mind. I guess why you originally did it doesn’t matter. I appreciate it all the same.”

“Well, don’t,” I said. I remembered what Amaranth had said. “Oh, Amaranth wants to talk to you about… all that.”

“She does? Great,” Feejee said. “She seems really understanding. I’m sure we’ll be able to explain our position to her in a way that makes sense.”

“Yeah, um… I don’t think it’s going to go like that,” I said. “I think she’s looking for some kind of middle ground, though I can’t imagine what that would be.”

“Maybe if we just took half… ooh, wait. Are we sure she’s an herbivore?”

The door opened and Trina breezed past, talking into a very familiar-looking sleek black octagonal mirror case. I was so shocked by the sight that I didn’t close the curtain.

“Oh, my fucking Lord Khersis, Gladys, she’s showing off her new elven wax and tit piercings, and Feejee’s slobbering all over her,” Trina said, heading back towards the showers. “She used to be cool before she turned gay. It’s tragic.”

“Tell Amaranth we should talk soon,” Feejee said. “The sooner we get this done, the fewer people are going to think I’m gay for you.”

“Hey!” I yelled at Trina, stepping out of the tub. Feejee’s skewed priorities and her kneejerk not-gayness could wait. “Where’d you get that mirror?”

“Why?” Trina asked. “Do you want to break this one, too? My mom rushed it out to me so she could keep in touch with me, if it’s any of your business… which it’s not.”

“Oh,” I said. I supposed it might have simply been the same model from the same house, especially if Trina’s mom had ordered one locally for speedier delivery. As far as I knew mine was safely in my coat pocket, or on my dresser, or wherever I’d left it. “Sorry.”

“Can you believe this, Gladys?” Trina said into her mirror, turning back towards the showers. “The little freak is sorry my mom sent me a mirror, after she broke my last one.”

“That’s not… at least I don’t have a fat ass!” I yelled.

Trina froze with her hand on the shower curtain.

“I’m going to have to get back to you,” she said. She closed the compact and put it down on the bench, then turned around to face me. It was my turn to freeze. Her one bigger eye seemed to be bulging out of its socket as she stalked across the bathroom towards me. When she was eye to eye plus one with me, she let a snort of hot air out of her flared nostrils. “What did you say to me, you disgusting little feeb?”

“I… sorry,” I said.

“What are you doing, looking at my ass anyway?” Trina asked. “My ass is not here for you.”

“I’m sorry,” I sputtered. Amaranth was going to kill me. That would be her performance on Saturday. Killing me. “It was… it was rude and inappropriate and…”

“The only thing that’s stopping me from grabbing you by the hair and smashing your face into the first open toilet is I’d have to touch your hair, and there’s not enough soap in the world for that,” Trina said. “So instead I’m just going to tell you that everybody in the gladiator program knows your supposed ‘boyfriend’ is fucking that psycho barbarian coach.”

“Fuck you!”

“Yeah, I’m sure you’d rather do that than fuck him, which is probably why he ended up with her,” Trina said. “Khersis knows she’s grody and scary enough as it is. Kills one student at the start of all her classes, just so the rest know she’s serious, you know.”

“If you wanted to convince me that Ian’s cheating, you should have shut your mouth after that,” I said. “Each thing that falls out of it is more ridiculous than the last thing that… fell out of it.”

“Oh, wow, witty comeback,” Trina said. “Were you there for the first day of her class? I don’t think so. Otherwise you would know that she cut some elven kid in half with his own axe for smarting off at her… the long way… and it wasn’t that big an axe!”

“She gets away with a lot of shit but she wouldn’t get away with murder,” I said. “Much less in every single one of her class.”

“Yeah, well, I heard that there’s a clause buried in the middle of the liability waivers that says that melee coaches can’t be held responsible for anything on the first day of class,” Trina said. “They call it the First Day Clause. It was put there because students would show up and start shit and get injured on purpose so they could sue, then dropped the class.”

“You heard? Trina, you had to have signed one of those things,” I said. “You have to know what’s in it and what’s not.”

“Who can tell, for sure?” Trina asked. “The way they’re written they could be anything. It’s all lawyers.”

“What does that even mean, ‘it’s all lawyers’? It’s a simple, straightforward… for fuck’s sake, it’s not even that long,” I said.

“Well, I’ve heard this from more than one person, so you’re calling all of them liars, and since you’re the demon I don’t thin you’re qualified to do that,” Trina said. “And whether or not she did kill one particular student, she’s definitely fucking your ‘boyfriend’.”

“Trina… that’s ridiculous,” I said. “And I want you to know the only reason I’m not kicking your ass is that I couldn’t do it without hurting you.”

“Oh,” Trina said. “Oh. You’re worried about hurting me.”

“Yeah, Trina, I am,” I said.

“You let a nymph beat you up,” she said.

“That’s… that’s not a very good characterization of what I do,” I said. “But the key word is ‘let’.”

“You’ve been in a fight like every day since you’ve been here and you’ve lost every one of them,” Trina said. “Mariel had you on the floor crying for mercy in like three seconds.”

“Fucking hell, Trina… do you believe every rumor you make up?” I asked.

“I don’t have to make shit up,” she said. “I just keep my eyes open and my ears to the ground. This is stuff everybody knows… like how the golem fought you off the first time you tried to rape it.”

I couldn’t answer that. It was taking every ounce of self control not to punch through her face. I remembered how badly I’d freaked her out when she’d caught sight of my flaming eyes when I was hungry. I pushed the anger I was feeling into a tight little ball and I lit up.

And Trina just stood there. She smiled smugly, reached into the pocket of her robe, whipped out a seasoning shaker, and threw a bunch of garlic salt in my face.

“Fuck!” I yelled. Eyes of fire may be cool looking, but they don’t do much to protect you from having particulate matter shoved into them.

“I toldyou I keep my ear to the ground,” Trina said, continuing to throw the seasoned salt at me, though luckily not in my face. “I know your secret weakness is garlic.”

“Fuck!” I yelled again. “Trina, it’s not a weakness… you threw salt in my fucking eyes.”

“Whatever, it’s totally your weakness,” she said, and she turned and walked back to the showers. “There’s plenty more where that came from, and I’ve always got it with me.”

“No, you idiot, my weaknesses are holy power and magic,” I said, my eyes squeezed shut. “That just fucking stings.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Trina yelled back. “Why would you tell me that if it were true?”

“You know, if you can get some garlic-infused olive oil, it might be even stronger,” Feejee called to Trina.

“Don’t freaking encourage her,” I said, trying to rub the stuff out of my eyes.

“Well, I don’t want her thinking I’m gay,” Feejee said. “And quit doing that, you need to flush them out. Turn off the water.”

The tub, which I’d forgotten about, was almost full now. Opening my eyes a sliver for a split second at a time, I found the knobs and shut it off as Feejee shifted her tail into legs and climbed out of hers. She grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the showers.

“I’m okay, Feejee, really,” I said.

“Quit touching your eyes, you’re only going to make it worse,” she said. “You need to stand under cold water and…”

“Fuck, no!” I said, pulling away.

“Lukewarm water, then,” she said.

“What’s wrong with hot?”

“I’m just saying what they taught me in my intro to alchemy lab,” Feejee said.

I heard Trina say, “Oh, I am fucking out of here,” as Feejee pulled me into the showers. A shower turned off, then another one turned on. Feejee put her hands on me and pushed me into an icy cold stream. Fuck.

“It’s about half hot, half cold,” she said, clearly lying or deluded. “Compromise. Tilt your face up like this,” she said, moving my head, “and open your eye.”

I forced my eye open, but the sight and sensation of water thudding into it as well as the sting forced it closed.

“Keep it open,” Feejee said. “Mother Ocean, you smell so damned good. Keep your eye open.”

It was weird and it was hard, but the water on my eye actually did seem to help, and then I did the other one for a bit.

“I’m just gonna…” Feejee murmured, and she stood behind me, her cool breasts pushing against my skin. I could feel her breathing in near my neck and the side of my face. The way she was standing, it was impossible to miss how similar her build was to Amaranth. Feejee was a little wider at the shounders and while she looked just as soft and feminine, her flesh was tauter and firmer all over, to say nothing of colder.

She was Amaranth without the softness and warmth, and full of sharp pointy danger instead of love.

But for all that she was chickenshit about being seen as gay, she’d reacted to seeing me in pain by administering the proper treatment. It seemed as hard for me to wrap my mind around her ability to see me as both a friend and a meal as it was for her to see the conflict there.

Her mouth closed around the side of my neck, her teeth flat and human. She murmured, the sound transmitting as a hum into my flesh. I moaned. She opened her mouth and withdrew a tiny bit.

“You know how I said… I didn’t want… that it was weird…?”

“Uh huh,” I murmured. My eyes still felt scratchy even with all the salt flushed out of them. I could taste garlic in my mouth, smell it in my nose.

I was unbelievably horny, considering I’d just been assaulted with spices. My butt tingled in memory of where Amaranth had spanked me.

“I think… I’m gonna…” she said, and then she bit down hard, with her still-untransformed teeth. I let out a yelp and that was all it took.

She stayed mostly human, except for her eyes and her teeth, and her teeth went everywhere. She licked my face, especially around my eyes, and everywhere else that the garlic salt had stuck, though it had long since dissolved and washed away.

As far as vivid illustrations of the difference between being invulnerable to harm and being invulnerable to pain went, having salt thrown in your eyes was a pretty good one… but it couldn’t hold a candle to having a predator tugging on a piece of metal jammed through a sensitive part of your anatomy.

The spell kept the piercings from coming undone and my own nature kept me from coming undone… it was a “something had to give” situation, and there was nothing to give but my ability to process pain.

I was coming hard before she even got below my legs, and when she did…

Fuck.

Or maybe eat.

Feejee looked even more self-conscious than she had after last time when she’d finally had enough. I was on my back in the middle of the showers, and she was getting to her feet.

“So,” she said. “That should get the garlic stuff out of your eyes.”

“Yeah,” I said, weakly. “Thanks.”

“I’m going back to my tub,” Feejee said. “Um…”

“I’m just going to go to bed,” I said.

“Celia hasn’t been back to the room the past two nights,” she said. “If you wanted…”

“No!” I said. “Thank you.”

“Oh, I’m not going to… I wouldn’t… not before I talk to Amaranth,” Feejee said. “I just thought…”

“It’s fine,” I said. “Thanks but no thanks. I have a lot of stuff to do tomorrow.”

“Well, okay,” she said.

I headed back towards the door, grabbed my robe and threw it on, scooped up my towel and my underwear and bolted out into the hall… where I almost collided with Kiersta, who was standing there cross-armed in flannel pajamas and bunny slippers, the perpetual dark circles around her eyes making her look like a belligerent panda.

Behind her was Trina with her shower kit, the Leightons with toothbrushes, and Oru with… something that might have been a hairbrush and might have been a bed of nails for a particularly disciplined hamster.

“Who else is in there?” Kiersta asked me.

“Uh…”

“Get them,” she said.

I stepped back and opened the door a crack. “Feejee, uh, Kiersta wants to talk to us.”

“Can’t she come in here? I just…”

“Get out here now,” Kiersta said.

There was a splash as Feejee hurried to obey, joining us a few seconds later.

“Was it just the two of you?” she asked.

“Yes,” I said, ducking my head.

“Mack was trying to eat me!” Feejee blurted.

Kiersta gave her a look.

“The showers are not for sex,” she said.

“We weren’t!” Feejee said. “Oh, Kiersta, I swear I didn’t…”

“Neither are the bathtubs or the stalls or the lounge or anywhere else that’s not your own room, and if you’re that noisy, you can take a place in town,” Kiersta said.

“Kiersta, I swear…”

“Don’t swear,” Kiersta said. “Just don’t fuck in the showers. Everybody else has to use them. From now on, when you’re in the bathroom she isn’t. When she’s in the bathroom, you aren’t.”

“She sleeps in the bathroom!” I said.

“Not any more,” Kiersta said.

“What?” Feejee asked. “That’s not fair. I can’t sleep in a bed.”

“Get used to it,” Kiersta said. “It’s not fair to everyone else that you’re in there all the time, especially when… yeah.”

“I’m not fucking gay!” Feejee yelled. “I have a boyfriend. I like boys. I don’t like girls. I’m not gay.”

“Pipe down and go to bed,” Kiersta said. She turned to me. “Close your robe and go to bed. Everybody else, do what you need to do, the bathroom’s clear now. Unless there’s anything in there I should know about?”

“No,” I said.

“Good,” she said. “You two are going to be cleaning in there for a week.”

“But you said we can’t be in there at the same time,” I said.

“Alternate days,” she said.

“But that’s an odd number of days,” I said.

“Then you can do it for one week and she can do it for the next,” she said.

“I don’t even think you can do this!” I said.

“Yeah, I don’t think I can, either,” Kiersta said. “You want to come with me and help me look up what I’m really supposed to do when I catch you having sex in the public spaces?” I said nothing. “No? Then you can clean the bathroom for a week. I’ll tell housekeeping not to bother. Come see me tomorrow when you’re ready to do it and I’ll unlock the supply closet for you. No getting your golem to help.”

“Stop calling her my golem,” I said. “She has a name.”

“If you can call it that,” Kiersta said. “Look, I’m sick of dealing with everybody’s shit. People treat you badly, human oppression, I get all that… that’s no excuse for you people to act like animals all the damn time. It’s hard enough being a resident advisor in this dorm.”

“Yeah, poor you,” I said as she turned and opened the door to her room. Looking past her, I could see empty liquor bottles on the windowsill and dresser. “Oh, that’s nice. Room full of booze.”

“Hey, I have a racial exemption,” she said.

“Yeah, what?”

“Only fucking human in this madhouse,” she said.

“Hey!” Tara and Sara both said, having stuck around to watch while everybody else went about their business.

“You heard me,” Kiesta said, and she slammed her door.

The twins looked at each other, then looked at me and smiled evilly before heading for the bathroom. I turned to Feejee, the only person left out in the hall.

“I’m going to talk to Amaranth tomorrow,” she said. Her skin was tinged a more visible and less healthy green than normal. “Maybe once you’re… they won’t think I’m…”

She turned and headed into her own room without another word, leaving me alone.

“Oh, fuck!” one of the Leightons yelled from inside the bathroom. “Watch where the fuck you’re… oh my Khersis, all over the seat!”

It was going to be a long week.

Discuss this story.

I had a better chance of success with Feejee, of course. She didn’t think anything about giving away priceless pieces of jewelry, but she was also giving serious thought to whether she should kill and eat me or become best buds. Yeah… probably best not to go asking her for favors.

“Um… how about I write up a form letter thing and you can get it into everybody’s mailboxes?” I said. “I mean, if I go around as a student asking for money it might look… off.”

“Oh, yeah, huh?” she said. “I didn’t even think of that.”

“You can figure out who they need to talk to make the actual donation and make sure it ends up here,” I said. “I mean, there’s probably official channels for that.”

“Yeah,” she said. “Okay.”

It sounded like we were starting to get into the neighborhood of more work than she’d expected to do, but I did not want somebody trying to nail me for running a scam or something.

“Um… I have stuff I need to get back to,” I said. I’d made up my mind to go back to my room… Two’s cleaning and humming and pencil scratching might be annoying, but I figured I’d had my share of random encounters for the evening.

“Okay,” she said. “But don’t forget about this!”

“I won’t,” I said. Yeah… I was already answering questions for my lawyer and doing my history teacher’s work for him. What was a little canvassing for donations on top of that?

Back in our room, Two was already getting ready for bed.

“My friend Hazel says that I have a big day tomorrow,” she said. “And my friend Dee wanted me to remind you that you need to wake up early to meditate for us.”

“Oh, right,” I said. I was supposed to be doing that. I was also supposed to be contacting my grandmother in some fashion. Hopefully if I showed good progress at whatever Dee wanted me to learn, she wouldn’t press me on that.

Two showed absolutely no curiosity about the promised “big day”, nor any sign that she doubted what her friend Hazel had told her.

In the darkness of my bed, I did a little random gazing about the early history of the plains of Prax. It seemed that the area had been uninhabited… meaning, empty of humans, elves, and dwarves… until about five hundred years ago. Before that, there had been lizardfolk and goblin tribes in the Enias River Valley and the wetter parts of the swampy south, along with some “sub-goblin” races that been hunted almost to extinction even before humans arrived, but the open plains had held no permanent settlements until a Merovian paladin, Sir Karoleon, had arrived with a party of explorers. They’d built a fort to use as a base for sending goods downriver to the Merovia-controlled port at Aurelianum.

Fort Karoleon and the Merovian presence was well before the timeframe of my presentation, but knowing the background would be helpful.

I went to bed before too long. My subconscious evidently thought I’d got off too easy during my solo trip to Enwich, because I was treated to a protracted dream about being lost in an underground transit center that was more sprawling and labyrinthine than the real one. Awareness of this difference came and went throughout the dream, along with the ability to acknowledge that some parts of it were from the dwarves’ Underhall and my own basement. An undercurrent of menace followed me throughout the dream, but there was no obvious danger apart from being lost and I woke up without any sort of resolution.

It seemed like this was going to be my new flavor of nightmare…weird and unending. It seemed unfair that I was growing out of the phase of highly sexually charged dreams just as I was getting to the point where I might have been able to appreciate them for what they were.

Two’s voice was the first thing I heard outside the dream.

“Good morning, Mack!”

“Good morning,” I said, through a mouth that wasn’t ready to form words. I yawned and lurched into a sitting position. “How’d you know I was awake?”

“You stopped talking,” she said.

“I was talking in my sleep?” I asked.

“Yes.”

That was weird. I hadn’t remembered much talking in the dream.

“What was I saying?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “I don’t think it was words.”

We got dressed. Dee reached the hall at the same time as we did… presumably, she’d heard us getting ready and had come out to meet us.

“Good morning, Dee!” Two said.

“Good morning to you both,” she said with her customary bow. “Are you ready?” she asked me.

“As long as I don’t have to get inside a protection circle this time,” I said.

“No, we will be doing some rather simple concentration exercises today,” Dee said. “In addition to teaching you more self-control, I will be working on my own. I fear that recent events have stripped away entire layers of restraint I spent years developing. Even before the… most significant event… my emotional control has faltered slightly.”

I thought about imploding glassware and bent forks… and Steff doubling over like her crotch was in an invisible vise.

We headed downstairs and went into one of the labs. The meditation lesson wasn’t that different than the first one she had given me, only there wasn’t nearly as much focus on relaxation after the initial descent into the meditative state. Instead, she had me focus on forming and holding images.

This was more difficult than it sounded. She’d say, “Picture a square. Form a square in your mind.” I’d think the words, “Picture a square. A square. A square.” The words were stronger than the image was. She’d prod me to keep my mind empty except for the image and to “hold it”, and then I’d start thinking about what would happen in my weapons class that afternoon or about my Mecknights story or tunnels under Enwich.

I was kind of wishing I hadn’t stopped my research so early in the evening. How had the future site of Enwich gone from being essentially a military outpost under the control of a Kharoline knight to the sort of place that would have warlocks building giant underground vaults in the span of about two centuries?

Also, I wasn’t entirely sure I believed that the Underhall was less than five hundred years old. It was certainly older than the buildings on the grounds above it.

“Tomorrow, we will build on what you managed today,” Dee told me when she decided we were done. The way she said it, I thought it was pretty clear she knew exactly how little I’d “managed”.

Amaranth and Steff were both in more than high spirits at breakfast. They both seemed like they were about ready to explode. I was glad the party was only half a day away… I didn’t think any of us could stand to keep the one happy secret much longer, and when it was all over we’d have something we could talk about again.

Before the party, though, I had to get through my classes. Ordinarily I would only have dreaded facing Callahan, but without knowing what I might have said or done on Thursday, my stomach was churning at the thought of facing Bohd as well.

I could very well have pissed off Rankin, but that didn’t worry me so much. It wasn’t just that I valued Bohd’s good opinion… it was the fact that she, in her own way, was as formidable as Callahan. Rankin might have been a capable enchanter, but it was hard to be afraid of him.

Despite dragging my feet all the way to the classroom, Ian was nowhere to be seen when I got to elemental invocation. Bohd was already at her desk, though. She gave me a look over the top of her glasses, which gave me a very inappropriate and more than a little bit creepy twinge in a very inappropriate and more than a little bit creepy place.

“Good morning, Ms. Mackenzie,” she said, still staring at me over her rims. “You’re feeling better, it seems.”

“Um… what do you mean?” I asked.

“Last Thursday, you evinced a badly disrupted aura,” she said. “As well as an unusually poor attitude.”

“Yeah, about that… um…”

How to finish that sentence? Was “possession” a common bullshit excuse for students who slacked off or acted up? Would I need to get a note from somebody to prove it? Or could I avoid the whole thing entirely somehow? The less people were aware of the possession, the better, as far as I was concerned.

“What about it?” she prompted.

“I don’t have any memory of class on Thursday,” I said. There. That was both true and cut to the heart of the matter, while leaving the possession out of it.

“Ah. Were you perhaps possessed?” She asked. So much for that idea. “That’s one possible explanation that would be consistent both with the symptoms I observed and with memory loss.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s what happened,” I said. “I, uh… I got better.”

“Yes, I see,” she said. “You appear up to lab work, at any rate. Do you know about the written assignment?”

“I think I remember you mentioning that there would be one,” I said. “But not what it actually was. Um, it’s not due today, is it?”

“No,” she said. “I’ll write up all the details for you before the end of class.”

And that was the end of it, though she kept looking at me for several seconds before she called the class to order, and I kept catching her looking at me after that. It was freaking me out a little bit. Could she see something wrong or weird about me, or was she staring at me because she had expected to see something like that but hadn’t?

She didn’t say anything else, though. I told myself that Bohd of all people would say something if there was anything at all to say. She was just scrutinizing me to be careful, because I’d freaked her out on Thursday. That was all.

I kept telling myself that, and by the time the lab was over, I almost believed it.

Steff didn’t show up for lunch, but Dee was there. Two was working a lunch shift, and so Dee and I were temporarily alone at the table together when we got back with our food before Amaranth did. I wanted to ask her if she could see or sense or feel or whatever anything weird coming off of me, just in case. Before I could figure out how to ask, though, she took a small bite of a grapefruit and made a very un-Dee-like face.

“What exactly is this?” she asked.

“It’s half a grapefruit,” I said.

She looked down at it.

“What is the other half? Some manner of sour melon?” she asked.

“It’s a grapefruit that’s been cut in half,” I clarified.

“I see,” Dee said. “The grapefruits I am familiar with are smaller and sweeter. If this is what they mature into, then I must say I prefer them young.”

“Uh, I think you’re thinking of grapes,” I said.

“Yes. Are those not fruit?”

“They’re fruit, but they aren’t grapefruit,” I said. “I don’t know why they’re called that. I don’t think they’re related to grapes.”

“No, they’re actually a cross between an orange and a pomelo,” Amaranth said, rejoining us with her tray of food. It had taken her a while to find food that met her needs, and she’d ended up with a grapefruit half, a salad, and a piece of bread. “They look a bit like grapes when they’re growing.”

“Whatever this ‘pomelo’ is, I do not find that an orange is much improved by the mixing,” Dee said.

“If you don’t want to finish that, I’ll be happy to,” Amaranth said. “I like a nice grapefruit every once in a while.”

“I guess it must be what is known as an ‘acquired taste’,” Dee said, passing the small plate to Amaranth. “On the subject of oranges, Two’s friend Hazel tells me that gnomes get oranges from Saint Owain. Do human children receive oranges on the solstice holiday, as well?”

“The winter one, sometimes,” Amaranth said.

“There is more than one solstice?”

“Yes, one in the winter for the longest night, and one in the summer for the longest day,” Amaranth said.

“Oh, I had not considered that might be deemed worthy of celebrating, too,” Dee said.

“I think the oranges thing was mainly from a time when fresh fruit from tropical places was more of a luxury, so an orange was a huge deal,” I said. “And sugar in non-fruit form was even more expensive. I never really got the… well, once, I guess. I must have been like four or so. My grandmother had oranges for all of us. I tried to chew through the rind… that’s the only reason I really remember about it, is my mother told me about it every… well, the next five Khersentides.”

“That’s interesting,” Dee said. “The decline of the custom, I mean. The situation you describe matches that of my homeland, at least in superficial particulars. Fruit is scarce and sugar is unheard of.”

“You said you use it for birthdays,” Amaranth said.

“And for courting gifts,” Dee said. “My Darek, my… beloved man? Male suitor? Beau? My beau, Darek, won the attentions of my Dehsah with fresh fruit in order to court me.”

“He used her to get to you?” I said, looking for clarification. She’d said it like she was proud of him.

“Yes,” Dee said. “It was very clever of him. I had rejected other men out of hand, so happy was I with my pretty Dehsah… but once they two were involved with one another, I had to give him more of a hearing.”

“The things you can learn about yourself when you open your mind a little,” Amaranth said.

“Indeed,” Dee said.

Amaranth might have been happy to hear about Dee’s relationships, but the “my” thing was starting to grate on me a little. I didn’t want to begrudge Dee her happiness, but it reminded me a bit too much of Sooni and “her” nekos.

“It is not anything particular to our relationship,” Dee said to me, and I realized I must have been leaking that thought. “Our language contains various ways of inflecting words… using the possessive form is a way of showing a sense of pride in an individual, that you are willing to claim them, as it were. It’s considered polite when referring to family members or loved ones.”

“Oh,” I said.

“You shouldn’t be so judgmental, baby,” Amaranth chided. “I can’t read minds, but it was written all over your face.”

“I wasn’t judging,” I said. “I was just… wondering. Thinking.”

“I apologize,” Dee said. “It was a private thought. I should not have given it air… I only sought to reassure you. I know that both you and Steff have expressed some concern over the nature of my relationships.”

“It isn’t any of their business, Dee,” Amaranth said. She looked at me. “And somebody’s going to get her little butt smacked if she can’t remember that. Anyway, Dee, why this interest in surface holidays? Thinking about sending your beloveds Khersentide gifts?”

“I’m unsure of the appropriateness of that,” Dee said. “But Hazel had mentioned the oranges, and I found the commonality in our cultures, however slight, to be interesting.”

“I’ve always said that different cultures had more in common with each other than they had differences,” Amaranth said.

“I’m not sure I would go quite that far,” Dee said.

“But that’s one huge similarity right there,” Amaranth said. “And it can’t be the only one, right?”

“I suppose it is unlikely to be so.”

“So… there you go,” Amaranth said.

I didn’t think Amaranth had proven her point as neatly as she seemed to think she had, but I held my tongue.

I figured I’d given her enough punishment fodder for a single meal.

Of course, there were limits to how far removed we could be, living on the same floor as each other. The fact that we hadn’t spoken in forever hadn’t stopped her from seeking me out in an arena full of people to try to push me around a little more. If my vague, half-formed plan worked, it could be the basis for a new relationship between us.

Or to phrase it a little bit better, a new way of relating to each other, one based less on my fear of her and her… whatever she felt towards me. She didn’t intimidate me any more, but it was still her reflex to try to control me, to act like a word from Mariel should be enough to get me moving.

No, not a word… two words.

Puddy says.

At the arena I’d tried granting what I had thought was a not completely unreasonable request, and all it had got me was grief when Puddy expected that same level of accommodation for her next demand. Even if our paths crossed infrequently, I didn’t think we could make it through a whole school year the way we were going. I needed her to get used to the idea of interacting with me on a more equal basis.

Yeah, that was going to happen.

Probably it would be best to focus on the immediate goal of getting some money for the TV. Any secondary effects in reforming Puddy or changing the basis for our interactions would happen or they wouldn’t.

In any event, whether she answered or Mariel did, I couldn’t exactly expect to be welcomed with open arms… open hostility, possibly… or heavy arms, maybe. Or lots of arms and open garments, if it happened to be Mariel.

Really, there were a lot of ways the wordplay could go, and none of them were all that good.

In any sense of the word.

I was hoping for Puddy. Not just because she was the one I actually wanted to talk to, but also because I felt I could understand her better than I could Mariel’s unreasoning jealousy. Puddy was selfish and stubborn and vindictive and almost as deluded in her own small way as Sooni was in her big one, but she was predictable.
Mariel was not.

Tiny and delicate as she was, I could see Mariel lashing out with the same sudden ferocity as Oru had when she’d bitten my leg… and somebody who lived their moments at the speed of the wind could do a lot of damage with a momentary lapse of judgment.

“Well?” Kiersta said, from where she was still standing back by my room.

I realized I’d gone right up to the point of knocking and then froze. It was time to do it. I told myself that I just looked like an idiot standing there with my knuckles raised, and I’d only look stupider if I turned around and walked away without actually knocking.

Yes, Kiersta, my brilliant plan for fixing everything is too brilliant to be fully explained even by me, but it involves pantomime.

I took a deep breath and I knocked.

For several moments it seemed like nobody was in… there was no sound from the room except some faint music, which could have been a music box somebody had left on. Then there was the sound of weight… more weight than Mariel had, even before her haircut… shifting on a bed and heavy footsteps. I was in luck, so to speak.

The peephole went dark for a second and then the door opened. Puddy stood there. Every inch of her, from the curly blonde hair that was apparently a family trait to the thick forearms that bulged beneath her sweater sleeves, seemed to be radiating anger.

“What do you want?” she asked with a casualness in her voice that didn’t match the stabbing hatred in her eyes.

This would have been the perfect time to use a little finesse, to concoct a bold story about how I was going door to door, like it was a coincidence that hers just happened to be first… maybe even make her think that I didn’t want to be offering her this chance but I had to. That way I could dangle the bait in front of Puddy’s greedy little eyes and cunningly reel her in without letting her know how badly I needed her help in particular.

It wouldn’t be that hard… I was counting on Puddy’s predictability. She liked to manipulate people, but in the end, she was so simple and straightforward that she would be easy to manipulate herself.

Yeah. All I needed was somebody else to do the talking.

Somebody smooth, and suave, and better at lying.

“Hello? I asked you a question,” Puddy repeated. I could hear echoes of her cousin Keri La Belle in her voice. Even though Keri was a little prep girl and Puddy was a would-be demihuman radical lesbian whatever, there was a hint of the same style of obnoxiousness within both of them. “What… do… you… want?”

Her glare transfixed me. I didn’t have an answer composed, but my throat was sticking so badly that it hardly mattered. She started to close the door.

It seemed like it was now or never.

“Hey, um… did you know they don’t have any dorm funds for Harlowe?” I asked.

“So what?”

Yeah, so what? Puddy had latched onto the fight for equality because it gave her an excuse to throw a big fit about stuff and be the center of attention, to fight the good fight and be the hero without doing much more than getting in people’s faces… but just like Sooni and the senate, she’d dropped it when it hadn’t “worked”.

I had to make her care about it again… and that meant showing her how she could benefit from it.

“Well… it seems to me like somebody whose family had some gold could do something about that, if the administration won’t,” I said.

“Why?” she asked.

“Well.. it’s a chance to do some good, and…”

“‘For a change’, you mean,” she said.

“I didn’t say that,” I said quickly.

“As if I didn’t pull your ass out of the fire a bunch of times already.”

“Thank you,” I said. She had got Rocky to back off, at least, and she had provided at least short-term fixes to some of my other problems, even if they weren’t worth her price in the long-term. “Really. But this is bigger than me… at the start of the year, you were pretty up in arms about this kind of thing.”

“Yeah, and that worked out real well for me,” she said. “I did all the groundwork and then you stepped in, pushed me out, and then abdicated to fuzzy-ears.”

“That’s not… look, Puddy, forget about me for a second, okay?”

“For just a second?” she asked. “You’re joking, right? I forget about you all the damn time.”

“Over in Ian’s dorm, this guy, Arthur Weyland? He has his name on a plaque by the TVs,” I said. I didn’t mention that the whole dorm was named after him. I doubted Puddy’s family had that kind of clout and I didn’t want her to think she was angling for the consolation prize.

“Who the hell is Arthur Weyland?” she asked.

“Well, he’s some lord,” I said. “But at one point he was a student here, and now everybody watches TV over there has a sign staring at them saying it’s thanks to him.”

“So?” she said. “TV is such a stupid, human thing. I don’t watch TV.”

“Yeah, but… they get them in the human dorms,” I said. “It’s the principle, right? It sends a message.”

“Don’t feed me that line of shit,” Puddy said. “I taught you that line of shit.”

“You did,” I agreed. “And outside the dorm, you’re still the one everybody knows.”

“Not like they know you,” she said. “Or Drow-lea Drow-ella.” I told myself that she didn’t mean anything personal by that. She was just venting. “Even fucking Two probably has her own little fan club now, I bet.”

“She has friends,” I said. “And a lot of that’s because of her love of food, which, you know… I guess you kind of helped?”

That much was true. Puddy had seen encouraging Two’s indulgent side as way more important than I had. Of course, at the time, I hadn’t exactly been eating food myself.

“Nice of you to give me some credit,” she said.

“Look, I get recognized because I was on TV. You’re recognized because you’re you. People who’ve never seen you go, ‘Oh, there’s Puddy.’ That didn’t change just because the rest of us got, you know, a bunch of news stories about us.”

“You shouldn’t try to flatter me, Mack,” she said. “You’re no good at it, and I don’t need it. I know who I am.”

“Yeah, you don’t need it,” I said. “I saw you in the arena… some of your fights. You were kicking ass. It took a giant to beat you… and that could have gone either way if her weapon hadn’t, you know. Smote. Smited.”

“Damn right!” she said. “That fucking spearchucker set me up .”

This was the woman who’d wanted to be the vanguard of the Harlowe struggle for equal rights? Pick your battles, Mack, I thought. Then I thought, when did I start calling myself Mack, even inside my own head?

That was a little bit weird to me. I’d changed quite a bit since I started college, but I liked to think I was the same person inside. I’d answer to Mack, because that was how my friends thought of me… most of them had been introduced to me that way… but I had been Mackenzie for most of my life. It seemed odd to think the weight of so many years could be shed so easily, that…

“If you think staring at my tits is going to be any more flattering, think again,” Puddy said. “I know you’re not that discriminating.”

“What? No, I just kind of look down when I think!” I said. “Fucking hell… anyway, if you’re not interested, just say. There are other people in the dorm from rich families, you know,” I said.

That was as close to cunning and sophisticated as I was going to be able to get, on my truth budget. Sooni was broke. I probably could finagle the money out of Feejee, but only if I gave her something in return… and I doubted Leda would feel charitable or be swayed by the prospect of having her name forever associated with this heap of bricks.

“Yeah? Who?” she asked. “You think the duck queen is going to chip in for a TV?”

“I don’t think it’s impossible that other people in the dorm might like the chance to contribute to making Harlowe a better place to live,” I said.

“I’ll think about it,” she said.

She sounded torn. The fact that she didn’t say no made me think the answer would possibly be yes. Puddy liked to appear decisive and in control. If the answer was at all likely to be negative, she wouldn’t miss the chance yell “hell no” to my face and then slam the door… but if the answer was positive, she’d want to take her time coming around to it instead of giving in right away.

Time for one last attempt at slyness.

“Okay,” I said. “But… if you wait too long, somebody else might jump on it, you know.”

“I said I’ll think about it,” she said, with an air of finality, but she looked hungry as she closed the door.

I turned and gave Kiersta a weak smile, as if to say, “There, I did something.” It wasn’t much. It wasn’t final. It was more than she’d done, though, and she’d have to be happy with that.

“So… when are you going to talk to those other people?” she asked.

…or not.

I focused on the easy questions first… meaning the ones asking me to identify people rather than the ones that asked me to show how I’d been hurt. Even though we’d gone over them so I knew what kind of answers were needed, I was still a lot more afraid of screwing those ones up. I knew the pages weren’t going to be ripped out of my hands and given directly over to the school’s lawyers the instant I laid down my pen, but given how official and important the papers were I couldn’t quite convince myself that there wasn’t a level of failure so complete that attaining it would result in the instant nullification of my case.

I figured it would be easy enough to start with the safe ones, and then move on to the more intimidating ones. I was half right… it was easy enough to start. The “moving on” part was giving me some problems.

Once I was out of things to write myself, the scratching of Two’s pencil on paper started to threaten to get on my nerves. When she started to hum, I decided it was time to get out of the room. I could take my mirror to the lounge and get started there.

I was no sooner out the door when I ran into the last person I ever expected to see on my floor: the R.A., Kiersta.

“Hey… new mirror?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I said. “It’s not mine, though. It’s a loaner.”

“Oh, okay, um… because I kind of need you to pay for that TV you broke?” she said. “So we can get a new one?”

“Oh, okay, um… because Sooni actually broke it?” I said. I was feeling frustrated enough to actually be a little mouthy on purpose. Besides, it was freaking Kiersta. It took an all-out magical brawl to stir her to action. She was the queen of minimal effort. “And you said you’d get it replaced out of the funds and we could pay it back?”

“Yeah, but now they’re telling me there aren’t any funds,” she said.

“What do you mean?”

“They’re saying all the money has already been committed,” she said. “No money for TVs, no money for dorm breakfasts, nothing… there’s no raiding the piggy bank, because it’s empty. Wait, can I say that?”

“What?”

“‘Piggy bank’,” she said. “Is that offensive?”

“Why would that be offensive?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “To orcs, maybe? Because they kind of look like pigs? I’m trying to be sensitive here! Meet me halfway, okay?”

I would have loved to tell her to fuck off, or just turn around and go back into my room, but Kiersta’s cluelessness about race relations didn’t change the fact that something was seriously wrong.

It was one thing that our dorm had been blessed with a decades-old, likely secondhand TV to begin with. It wasn’t all flat and sleek looking, but it had worked. I could understand the rationale behind not replacing it just because it was old, as long as it still got the job done.

But we paid the same fees every other student did… I had to imagine that if a TV got trashed in another dorm, they’d be able to scrounge up money for another one.

“Okay, but what am I supposed to do about that, Kiersta? You’re the resident adviser,” I said. “I’m just a resident. I’ve got enough going on…”

“But you’re the one who’s like on top of all this stuff!” she said.

“Kiersta, I’m not on top of anything,” I said. “I don’t even sleep on the top bunk.”

“But you’re friends with like, all the radicals and activists and stuff, right?” she said. “You sued the school. You know how to get things done.”

“Kiersta, I’m in the process of starting arbitration with the school,” I said.

“But you’ve got a lawyer and stuff, right?” she said.

“Yes, but starting arbitration is about as far away from ‘getting things done’ as you can be while you’re still actually doing something,” I said. “It’s more like ‘getting things started’… hence that word, ‘starting’.”

She didn’t answer. I don’t think she had actually heard me. She was just staring at me with what I can only describe as the face of an expectant, sleep-deprived chipmunk.

Kiersta had always had that quality of really awful, pep squad-style phoniness that can never truly be faked… like she was the kind of person who could tell you that she was “super excited” to be somewhere and mean it. A whole month of hiding in her room from the scary monster kids had ground her innate enthusiasm and optimism into the ground, but it was still in there somewhere, and it… for reasons probably only known to some obscure god of group cheers… expected me of all people to have the answer to this hideous unfairness right the fuck now.

Why? Because I’d got my face on the news, I guess… that and the rumor mill had been enough to build me up into the enemy of authority and the status quo, or something.

I sighed. Lee had warned against burdening down a pretty strong case by piling on every little perceived injustice. We hoped a settlement might give us some leverage to get this sort of thing redressed, but that wasn’t the sort of answer Kiersta was looking for.

Also, I was pretty sure Lee didn’t want me going around saying something that sounded like, “Yeah, we’re going to sue them and make them do this and this”… especially not to somebody who was technically a university employee.

“Okay… look, excuse me for a minute here, okay?” I said. I wasn’t in a position to champion the cause of Harlowe residents in front of the larger university… but I knew somebody who was.

“But what are you going to do?” Kiersta asked.

“This isn’t my job,” I said. I turned, took a couple steps forward, and knocked on Sooni’s door. “It’s our student senator’s.”

Sooni opened the door. The light in her room was dim, like candlelight but without all the flicker. She was dressed in a purple robe, with her hair up in a wrap, and her face was covered with some kind of spa treatment mask stuff that had a distinct, unpleasant, and vaguely familiar aroma. More pleasant was the sound of music which wafted past her… something stringy, kind of like a dulcimer.

“Hello?” she said, squinting against the harsher light of the hallway.

“Hi,” I said. “Uh, we kind of have to talk, if you aren’t busy.”

“Yes,” she said, nodding. “I want you to know, Miss Mackenzie, that you will have a special place in my heart, and that our time together has meant so much to me, but that is a part of my life that is over now. I have moved past it, and so must you, no matter how much it hurts.”

“Um… okay,” I said.

She reached up her hand and gave me a little pat on the head.

“Did you just pat me on the head?” I asked… not because there was any doubt in my mind on that score, but because I was having a hard time believing anybody… even Sooni… would actually consciously have done that.

“Um… mmm hmm,” she said, nodding. “Please excuse me. I have to go wash my hand.”

She shut the door.

I knocked on it again.

She opened it almost immediately, but this time the smile was gone.

“What?” she asked brusquely.

“Sooni, Kiersta says there’s no money to replace that TV we… you… broke,” I said. “We’ve got to do something about that.”

“I’ve told you I don’t have any money available right now,” she said, whispering… almost hissing.

“Okay, so we’ll have to work on coming up with some,” I said. “But there’s a bigger issue here that needs to be raised: the funds for Harlowe. Did the school not allocate them? Did they blow them on the catering? Did somebody siphon them off? We need to find out.”

“How?”

“You’re our floor rep,” I said.

She stared at me blankly, her big black eyes slowly blinking.

“In the student senate?” I said. “Remember? The election we had? You called me a pussy eating lesbian pussy eater and then we all laughed and had a good time?”

“Oh! I’m done with that,” she said. “I’m working on dresses now. Please excuse me. I’m very busy.”

She closed the door again.

I knocked on the door again.

“Have you started working on the weavesite yet?” she asked as she opened it.

“What? I… Sooni, I told you I needed to think about that,” I said. “I’ve got a lot…”

She stomped her sandaled foot.

“You know, that’s your problem, Mackenzie… no follow-through!”

“What do you mean, no follow-through?” I asked. “You fought tooth and nail to get elected, you dragged me through the mud, and then when you were elected you did all those interviews and got your face in the paper…”

“Yeah, but… that didn’t work,” she said.

“In what sense?” I asked. “You got a front page thing devoted to how awesome you are.”

“Yes, but… Father did not give me any more money,” she said. “So now I’m making dresses… like you said I should.”

Like I said she should. This conversation was just going to get more and more fun, I could tell.

“Sooni, you have a responsibility… I mean, I conceded partly because I thought you would want to do the best job possible,” I said. “You can’t just turn your back…”

“But it didn’t work,” she said.

“Sooni, look… maybe you ran for the wrong reason, but…”

“If I did then I shouldn’t have to be senator anymore, should I?” she said, and she closed the door on me again.

“Damn it!” I said.

“I told you she wasn’t the best person for the job,” Two said, through our door. “I said…”

“Yes, Two, you were right,” I said. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“So… what do we do now?” Kiersta asked.

“I don’t know,” I said.

“Well, you have to come up with something,” Kiersta said.

“I guess maybe if we let everybody know that we’re getting screwed on funding because of the meal thing, they might kick up a big enough fuss… I mean, the Leightons seem to be in favor of the sandwiches and things but would they be if they knew it was keeping them from getting a new TV? Or that they were missing out on things that other humans get in the other dorms because of it?”

“Yeah… um… okay,” Kiersta said.

“That’s probably not going to change anything right away, though,” I said, thinking as I spoke. “Probably the money’s already budgeted for the semester, if not the year, and the school might just hope that everything blows over if they ignore it. Which it might. I guess short term, we could try to look for some other funding… that would solve the immediate problem and if there’s some publicity maybe it would shame the university into action. I mean, Weyland Hall’s got brand-new furniture and fancy TVs and stuff that’s paid for by a wealthy alumnus, but I can’t really see any former Harlowites putting up gold just to get their names up on the wall…”

I couldn’t see any former Harlowites doing that, no… but then, I didn’t know any former Harlowites.

“Mack?” Kiersta said. “Mackenzie? Are you okay? You just kind of stopped talking… and now you’re staring at me.”

“It’s okay, she does that,” Two said loudly from inside our room. “She’s looking at your breasts.”

“I’m not looking at… I was thinking,” I said. “Excuse me one more time,” I said to Kiersta, turning and heading for another door.

“What are you doing?” Kiersta asked.

“Something really stupid, that I will probably regret for a very long time.”

“She does that, too,” Two said.

“Oh, shit,” Steff said. There was a muffled shout, and then a surge of people in our direction, reporters followed by beleaguered campus guards trying to do crowd control. “It’s a circus out there, and guess who’s in the center ring?”

“I guess your arrest is more interesting than my disappearance,” I said to Dee.

I was starting to feel a little queasy and weak in the knees… I’d only recently started to get over my aversion to being the center of attention, and the thought of being scrutinized by so many strangers at once… strangers who would be broadcasting my face and stunned-bunny reactions all over the province or further… was triggering my old reflexes.

“No, last Friday’s drama just caught them napping,” Steff said. “But arrests are public record, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they put spotters on campus after that went down in case there was a follow-up.”

“Where one pebble falls, the ceiling may follow,” Dee said.

“Is that anything like ‘It never rains but it pours?’” Steff asked.

“Perhaps,” Dee said. “In an event, as little as I desire to be caught in this deluge, I see very little choice.”

“What’s the point of having friends in low places if they can’t hide you away from prying eyes?” Steff asked.

“Oh, it would be well within the power of the forsaken goddess to wrap us in a cloak of invisibility, but that would hardly be conducive to Mackenzie’s continued well-being,” Dee said.

“So, you can still do yourself,” I said.

“And their attention will then fall upon you,” Dee said. “I cannot see a positive outcome from that, for either of us.”

“I say do it,” Steff said. “But just you… I’ll stay with Mack and keep her from saying or doing anything stupider than normal.”

“Hey!” I protested.

“You aren’t exactly graceful under pressure,” Steff said. “Anyway, Dee, you guys are already linked in their minds… if they see you arriving together, who knows what they’ll make of it?”

“They already saw us departing in each other’s company,” Dee said.

“So if they see Mack and me getting out of the coach, it might confuse them,” Steff said. “Stop them from trying to scale the walls and storm the battlements, since they won’t know for sure you’re in there.”

“Anyway, invisible or not, you’d still have to open the doors,” I said. “If both Steff and I are visible, they’ll just see us holding them for each other.”

“Very well,” Dee said. “You may wish to avert your eyes and move away.”

I slid as far into the corner of the bench as I could and closed my eyes. There was an uncomfortable feeling of pins and needles on my skin, coming from the direction of Dee. When it subsided, I opened my eyes.

“I don’t think it completely worked,” I said. I could still see Dee, though I could see the upholstery behind her. “I can see you a little.”

“Are you kidding?” Steff asked. “Girl is gone, and I know my eyesight’s better than yours.”

“Interesting,” Dee said. “Well, I have faith that my disguise will be sufficient for the mass of humanity outside. Let us please make haste, so I do not have to continue to impose on my goddess’s generosity for selfish purposes.”

“You first,” I said to Steff. “They’ll swarm me.”

“I don’t think these piranhas are that picky,” Steff said, “but okay.”

The cops and guards had managed to get the reporters to stand back a bit, giving us enough room to get the door open without being immediately grabbed. Steff unlocked the door, opened it halfway, and popped the lock closed again in one fluid motion. She slid out, leaving a space which Dee was able to squeeze through, and then I followed. We closed the door behind us.

Recording crystals and shouted questions were shoved at us from all directions.

“Miss Delia Daella will be making a statement as soon as she’s finished composing herself,” Steff said. She grabbed my hand and we started forward. “Please… everything we have to say is in the manifesto we gave the Gazetteer. You’ll have to get a copy from them.”

“Steff,” I hissed. “What are you doing?”

“Fucking with them,” she whispered back. Out loud, she shouted, “Please, for the last time, she was dead when we got there and we don’t know who the father is!”

Then she yanked my hand and broke into a dead run, dragging me along. There were a few last attempts to shove phonetic crystals into our faces, and then the mass of reporters turned to swarm around the coach again, just as its wheels started to turn. It rolled about half a foot and then stopped as it was completely surrounded. They were tapping on the windows and actually pulling on the door handle that Steff had prudently locked.

The doors into the nexus hallway were blocked by barricades and a trio of guardsmen, so we headed for the steps leading down to the sunken patio and the front entrance of Harlowe. There was a rope across it and signs reading “Harlow Staff And Residence Only”… sic… and a single guard who lifted the rope to let us past.

“How can they expect people to receive an education in an ambience such as this?” Dee whispered in my ear. “The public’s supposed right to know apparently trumps our right to learn.”

“I’m surprised they aren’t out trying to stalk Harlowe students between classes or something,” I said as we reached the shaded courtyard. “It’s not like most of us don’t stick out.”

“Quiet, you’ll give them ideas,” Steff said as she opened the door of the basement common lounge. Dozens of heads whipped around to watch us coming in. The lounge was full of people from both sides of all the floors.

“Baby!” Amaranth cried, running towards me.

Steff whipped me around by the arm and flung me towards her.

“Let’s have the joyful reunion away from the windows,” she said as Amaranth and I collided with each other with a pair of grunts. Steff herded us further back into the lounge while Amaranth smothered my face with kisses. I tried to sink into her with my customary level of appreciation, but I was feeling restless and prickly.

“Hi, Mack! Hi, Steff! Hi, Dee!” Two called.

“Hi, Two!” Steff and I said.

“Hello, Two,” Dee said. As soon as she was out of the pool of light that spilled through the front wall, she canceled her invisibility. Instantly we were bombarded with questions from our classmates

“You’re in here?” Hazel called, from the top of one of the couches. “That lot’s still out there hammering on that goatless carriage of yours.”

“Honey, I thought I told you to get off the back of that couch,” Kiersta said.

“It’s Hazel, and you told me to get off the back of that couch,” Hazel said, pointing. “I’d sit on the cushions, but people kept sitting on me.”

“Just get down,” Kiersta said, and Hazel slid off to land lightly on her bare feet.

“Didn’t anybody go to classes today?” I asked.

“We all got hit as soon as we set foot out the door,” Amaranth said. “There were camera crews shooting stuff around the student union yesterday evening, and then it just exploded today. They called in campus security, and we’ve been down here watching the news ever since.”

“How much could they have had to report?” I asked.

“Not much, but they find ways to pad it out,” Hazel said. “Our illustrious student senate representative has been giving interviews, for instance… and once they got a glimpse of yourself in the square, they’ve had a bunch of jumped-up experts to remind us every three minutes that there is absolutely no evidence that dark elves worship demons.”

“How can these fools believe that there is any room in my heart for the worship of infernal beings when it has been consecrated since birth to the forsaken one?” Dee asked.

“Well… just off the top of my head?” Steff said. “It can’t help that you call your goddess ‘the forsaken one’.”

“It is the closest translation,” Dee said. “The inherently imprecise nature of human language is hardly my fault.”

“What about ‘neglected one’?” Amaranth suggested.

“It lacks moment,” Dee said.

“Forgotten?” Amaranth said.

“Arakhis hasn’t been forgotten by the faint elves… she simply isn’t worshipped by them,” Dee said.

“How about ‘the loneliest goddess’, then?” Amaranth said.

“My goddess is not lonely,” Dee said.

“Well, do you know for sure?” Amaranth said. “I mean, how often do you talk to her, just to say hello?”

“I am sorry, but I am really not shopping for new epithets for my goddess at the moment, thank you all the same,” Dee said.

“Just trying to help,” Amaranth said. She started fussing with my hair.

“Ow, you’re pulling it,” I said.

“You’ve got tangles,” she said. “Do you ever brush your hair, baby?”

“I do,” I said. “Sometimes.”

“We kind of left in a hurry when we saw Dee on TV,” Steff said.

“For that, I am grateful,” Dee said.

“I’m sorry you had to cut your date short,” Amaranth said. “I know you were looking forward to it… well, at least you had the night, right?”

“Oh, Khersis, do we have some things to tell you about, once we’re alone,” Steff said. “With all the other stuff going, I almost forgot about it. I guess it never rains unless the ceiling’s caving in.”

“Huh?” Amaranth said.

“I’m being culturally diverse,” Steff said. “Though, I kind of think that almost makes sense on its own.”

“Come on, let’s head upstairs,” Amaranth said. “I’m sure Dee would like to be back in her own room.”

“Yes, thank you,” Dee said. “Though, under differing circumstances, the cell I was held in might have been somewhat soothing, being isolated and underground.”

“You poor thing, can I make you a cup of tea?” Hazel said.

“I would not like to put you out,” Dee said.

“Oh, I was going to get some myself, and it’s as easy to heat two cups of water as one,” Hazel said. “And Honey has this fancy blend she gets from one of her teachers… anybody else want some?”

“Yes, please,” Two said. “And… make it snappy!”

“Still not funny, love,” Hazel said.

Steff and I boggled at Two… though, once I recovered from my shock, I was more surprised that Amaranth hadn’t said anything about this strange lapse in manners. I looked at her curiously.

“Hazel tried to teach Two a joke,” she said. “But I don’t think she quite understood it.”

“I think my version is funny,” Two said.

“No, but you see, the original is funny because it’s turtle soup, and there’s such a thing as a snapping turtle,” Hazel said. “But tea doesn’t snap.”

“I know,” Two said. “That should make it funnier, right?”

“Well, it doesn’t,” Hazel said.

“I don’t see why,” Two said.

“Two, hon, nobody understands why things are funny or not,” Steff said. “We just know that they are.”

“Why can’t I?”

“Your perceptions are different from ours,” Dee said. “We are able to see the humor in things…”

“Sometimes,” Steff interjected.

“…just as you were able to see me when I was wrapped in an aura of invisibility.”

“Oh, okay,” Two said. With her mollified, the six of us headed upstairs.

“C’mon, Two, you can help me get the tea together,” Hazel said when we arrived on the fifth floor.

“Okay,” Two said.

“It won’t take but a minute,” Hazel said. “Would you like to take it in your room?”

Dee looked at Amaranth and Steff and me, and then said, “I would prefer to not be left alone with my thoughts at this juncture, if my presence would not be unappreciated.”

“You can come with us… it’s not like we could keep a discussion in Mack’s room private from you, anyway,” Steff said. She looked at me. “Right, Mack?”

“And you might have some insight into something,” I said, thinking of Mercy and her claimed heritage.

“Eave-lay it-way alone-way, Ack-may,” Steff whispered in pig draconian.

“Why don’t you get things ready in your room and we’ll join you in a bit?” Amaranth suggested to Hazel, who was still standing there waiting for an answer.

“Right, we’ll have a proper little welcome back party,” Hazel said. She headed towards her room. “Come along, Two.”

“Okay,” Two said.

Honey popped out of Oru and Shiel’s room.

“Oh, Hazel, the woman on the telly is saying… oh!” Her eyes widened when she saw Dee. “They said you’d fled.”

“That would be our conveyance returning to its point of origin, I believe,” Dee said. “It was a necessary deception.”

“We were just about to make some tea,” Hazel said. “You lot want to join us? Oru could bring her set in so we can keep up with the show.”

“I don’t know if that would be a good idea,” Honey said, her eyes unmistakably flicking towards me. Considering that the last time I’d seen Oru, she’d used my leg as a chew toy, I had to agree.

“If nobody else objects, I’d rather avoid the ongoing coverage,” Dee said.

“Oh, well, it’s not like they have anything to say, anyway,” Hazel said. “All morning long, they just kept repeating the same little loops of the courthouse and the outside of Harlowe, with statements from anybody on campus who would talk to them.”

“Which were mostly humans and ‘Miss Suzune’,” Honey said, her nose wrinkling in distaste.

“And that harpy of an elven professor,” Hazel said.

“Excuse me,” Shiel said, pushing past Honey. “But I don’t think it’s necessary to impugn an entire race of sentient beings by using their name as a derogatory term… especially given the inherently sexist connotations implied by using an overwhelmingly female race.”

“Er, right,” Hazel said. “Shan’t do that again, sorry.”

“Anyway, now they’re mostly showing the clips of you two arriving,” Honey said. “They have quite an interesting little ‘fact file’ that’s been put together over the past few hours, Miss Mackenzie.”

“What are they saying?” I asked.

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” Hazel said. “It’s mostly just a bunch of outrageous rubbish that they made up… and some slightly more outrageous rubbish that they didn’t. If anybody believes a word of it, it won’t be the bits that are true.”

“Great,” I said. “Is this just on the local news?”

“I don’t know,” Honey said.

“Some of those wagons had the INN logo on them,” Steff said.

“Shit,” I said.

I could just picture my grandmother’s reaction to seeing my face on the news, linked to a naked dark elf scandal. Actually, I couldn’t picture it… anything I came up with would probably fall short of the reality by a wide margin. The only minor bit of consolation was that she would probably not be able to identify Steff as anything other than an ordinary female half-elf.

Somehow, I suspected, she’d find that objectionable enough.

“Oh, baby, don’t pout,” Amaranth said. “I know it’s a little embarrassing to be held up in front of the whole Imperium like that, but who cares what a bunch of people you’ve never even met think about you?”

“It’s not those people I’m worried about,” I said. “I’m just trying to imagine what my grandmother would say about all this.”

“Is your grandmother by any chance named Martha, Miss Mackenzie?” Honey asked, her head turned halfway inside the door.

“Uh… yeah,” I said. “Why?”

“I don’t think you have to imagine,” Honey said. “She’s on the telly now.”

Puddy wheeled around mid-stride, bringing her axe up and catching me in the forehead with the flat of the head. She didn’t have the space for a good swing, so it was more my momentum than hers, but it was enough to send me reeling with pretty colored lights exploding inside my eyes.

Shaking my head as though to clear my vision, I snarled and flexed my… well, my whole body sort of contracted in one powerful spasm. When my arms came up into my field of vision, I became aware that they were on fire.

I wasn’t terribly surprised.

I reached out one burning hand towards Puddy. She swiped with her axe and I took half a step back.

Two yelled something. Puddy twitched as if she wanted to turn around to face her, but she kept her eyes on me. I took a step to the side, trying to circle around. Puddy said something, but her words made no sense to me.

They were just a low, dull rumble. Sounds without sense.

They infuriated me, all the same.

She jabbed forward with the axe. It wasn’t a real attack, just a prod. I wanted to get that axe away from her. It was the only thing keeping me off her. I reached for it, and she swung at my hand.

I pulled back.

The axe could hurt me. It could kill me. Puddy knew it. She wasn’t letting me get close. If I got close, I could end it.

Fast.

Forever.

If Puddy would let me past the axe. That didn’t seem likely, though. She was watching me too closely.

She should have been watching Two.

The cute little mace came down on the back of Puddy’s head, with whatever strength Two could muster with both of her arms. More potent was the electrical jolt which lifted Puddy off of her feet and sent the axe flying from her hand.

She fell forward, landing heavily on the floor… unconscious, or at least stunned.

I wasn’t seeing her lying on the ground, though. I was seeing her standing over my bed, “jokingly” smothering me. I saw her leering at me, beckoning to me. I saw her hands on me… those same hands reaching for Two. I saw her leading me to the basement for the first time.

I fell on her, teeth bared.

“Baby, no!” Amaranth cried from behind me, her words cutting through the fog in my head. A heavy form crashed into me and long arms circled around me, knocking me down onto Puddy’s downed form and then wrenching me away to the side.

We rolled and wrestled around a bit. I howled in rage and frustration, and my flame increased threefold. A cry of pain and anguish from the soft form which had ended up beneath me which was choked off as my fire-wreathed hands found a throat and closed in around it, squeezing the life out of the stupid thing that had come between me and my target.

Suddenly half convinced that it was Puddy beneath me, I squeezed harder.

There was screaming all around me. Something jabbed me in the side, and pain shot through me with an explosive snap. All my joints seemed to pop at once, and my jaw locked tight.

The world went away for a bit, and I was laying on my back on the floor twitching and covered in water. There was a smell in the air… something cooking. Something burning.

“What…?” I murmured. My arms and legs were numb. Somebody was screaming their head off. I couldn’t sit up. I managed to turn my neck a little.

“Oh, fuck, Mack, don’t look,” Steff said, grabbing my head and turning it back towards the ceiling. “Don’t look. Two, get Dee. Don’t tell Kiersta. Mariel, shut up or I will shut you up.”

I could see Mariel helping Puddy unsteadily to her feet.

“If she dies, I swear to fuck I’ll kill you,” Steff said. “I don’t care if she comes back. You don’t get away with that.”

“I didn’t start this,” Puddy said. “And I didn’t even touch her.”

“I’m not dying,” I said feebly, though I wasn’t entirely sure. I still didn’t seem to have full control of my limbs. I started to sit up. Steff pushed me down.

“Don’t move,” she said. “Don’t look around.”

“Where’s Amaranth?” I asked. My voice sounded thick and slurred. There was a slight echo, but that might have just been in my head.

“Shh,” Steff said. “Help’s coming.”

“I’m okay,” I said.

“Shh.” Steff said.

There was a gasp from the doorway.

“Mother of mothers!” somebody said, and it took me a moment to recognize it as Dee. I’d never heard her with that much emotion in her voice. “Get her out of here. I will tend to Amaranth as best I can.”

“What’s wrong with Amaranth?” I asked. Had I been knocked out? Had Puddy done something else while I was oblivious?

“Nothing, hon,” Steff said. She ducked down beside me and pulled me up into a sitting position, then helped me to my feet. To Dee, she said, “If you can bring her around, she should be able to help.”

“What’s…” I started to ask, twisting around and out of Steff’s grip. I was still a little shaky, but I was able to get free and see what she hadn’t wanted me to.

Amaranth lay on the floor. Her stomach, chest, and parts of her thighs were covered with fresh, angry burns, as was her neck. The neck was the worst. Dee knelt beside her, chanting quietly.

My knees turned to water.

“Come on,” Steff said, tugging me towards the door. “You need to get out of here if Dee’s going to help her.”

“What did I do?” I asked, though I knew exactly what I had done.

“Help me, Two!” Steff said.

“Okay,” Two said, and there were two sets of arms supporting me and taking me out into the hall, which was now deserted except for Celia who looked totally lost. They leaned me against the wall, and then I collapsed crying against Steff.

“Hon, it’s okay,” Steff said. “The worst… she’ll just have to catch a coach back to school. That’s all.”

“You had to fucking interfere,” Puddy said, coming out into the doorway.

“Fuck off,” Steff said.

“Me fuck off? You come to my room spouting a bunch of bullshit, you attack me… nothing that happened is on me,” Puddy said.

“Oh, right,” Steff said. “You were just minding your own business, innocently beating the shit out of your girlfriend…”

“She w-w-wasn’t beating me,” Mariel said, and I could see that, though her eyes were puffy and irritated, there weren’t any bruises or other injuries. She hiccupped. “I w-wish she would. It would be b-b-b…” The words turned into a sob, and she threw back her head and wailed. Four arms reached out to Puddy, who stepped back and turned aside, and Mariel collapsed on the floor, pounding her tiny fists and crying.

“What the fuck did you do to her?” Steff asked, handing me over to Two who put her arms around me without a word.

“Nothing,” Puddy said.

“Bullshit!” Steff said.

“We broke up!” Puddy said, which only made Mariel wail more loudly. “Not that it’s any of your business, but we broke up!”

“I left my boyfriend for you,” Mariel said, getting to her feet. “I did everything for you. Three weeks we’ve been going out… three… weeks… and I’ve done everything you ever said!”

“The hell you did,” Puddy said. “We both agreed to vote for Mack. After I stopped drinking for you, you turn around and stab me in the fucking back and make me look like an idiot in front of my friends!”

“They aren’t your friends! They hate you! I hate you! And I am so fucking sick of Mack!” Mariel shrieked, her speech becoming faster and higher pitched as she spoke. “Ever since we got here, it’s been nothing but…” and after that it was an incomprehensible squeak.

A door opened up the hall. Kiersta poked her head out.

“Can you guys please … holy shit, what happened to your clothes?” she asked.

I reached up and felt the ragged, charred collar of my t-shirt that hung around my neck. It was all that was left of the garment. My bra was a twisted ruin. My jeans had fared only a little better.

“You’re dripping all over the hallway,” she said. “What the fuck did you guys do now?”

“Whatever we did, it’s your fault,” Steff said. “And if any of this gets out, I’ll make sure everybody knows.”

“Fuck it,” Kiersta said, and she disappeared back into the Leightons’.

“Hey, send Fin down here!” Steff called just as the door closed. It opened a moment later and Finbar stepped out, a little hesitantly.

“Hey, man, what’s up?” he asked.

“Healing potions,” Steff said.

“What?”

“Go get healing potions,” Steff said.

“You know that shit doesn’t come cheap,” he said.

“Do I look like I care?” Steff asked. “Go!”

Finbar went.

The twins popped out of their room.

“Hey, what’s…?” Sara started to say, but she took one look at Steff and they disappeared, too. I didn’t blame them. Steff looked like she didn’t know whether she wanted to break something or stab somebody, and was probably willing to do both.

A short while later, Dee came out into the hallway.

“I have done what I could,” she said. “That is not as much as I would like. The burns are slightly resistant. I touched her mind and put her into a healing slumber for now. As impolitic as it would be, we may have no choice but to take her to the healing center.”

Steff shook her head.

“I sent Fin for healing potions. There’s no way I’m letting anybody at the healing center see this… especially not when they’re afraid of a lawsuit from Mack,” Steff said. “There’s no way they wouldn’t put it together. I’m not handing them any ammunition. Not when Amy can just, you know, come back.”

“Ian… Ian said they asked him about his burn,” I said. “After my flare-up in class. He lied about it.”

“They asked Two about hers, too,” Steff said. “Though luckily you had nothing to do with that.”

“What was that about, anyway?” I asked Two, who was still holding me. I’d stopped shaking enough to notice that she was shaking, too. “Why did you summon a demon?”

I’d meant to ask her that long before, but it had never seemed like the right moment. I didn’t think this particular moment could be any more wrong, but it didn’t look like the right moment would ever come, and the subject was up.

“I had questions,” she said quietly. “The library book didn’t have the answers.”

“Like…” I started to say, but then Finbar arrived with a duffel bag over his shoulder.

“Luckily I keep all my legal stuff in one place,” he said. “I brought everything.”

“Come on,” Steff said.

“You stay the hell out of my room,” Puddy said to Steff.

“Fuck you,” Steff said and breezed past her. I pulled away from Two and followed.

We all piled in, even Celia, who’d been standing dazedly in the hallway the whole time.

Amaranth looked a little better. What had been black was now red, and what had been red was pink. Her breathing was steady and peaceful. Though I could see the dried and cracked skin breaking as her chest rose and fell, her face was serene.

“Fucking cock balls,” Celia said.

“Oh, shit,” Finbar said. “Shit, shit, shit.”

“I know,” Steff said. “Fix it.”

“This is gonna add up,” he said. “You know that?”

“Know,” Steff said. “Don’t care.”

“Right,” Finbar said. He set the bag down on one of the beds and rummaged through it. He handed Steff three small jars of unguent. “Rub this on her… well, anywhere that’s bad. Slather it on.”

Steff nodded and took the jars from him. She unscrewed the lid from one and began to daub the yellowish contents around Amaranth’s burns.

“Don’t be fucking dainty! Rub it in!” Fin said.

Steff grimaced, looked at Amaranth’s sleeping face, and began to massage the thick paste directly onto her wounds. She stopped when the scorched skin began to peel away.

“Keep going,” Fin said. “It’s supposed to do that… I think.”

“You think?” Steff asked.

“I’ve never used it,” Fin said. He turned and rummaged around some more while Steff continued to rub the unguent over Amaranth, using up one jar and then another. Her skin sloughed off. It was unsettling to watch, but I couldn’t look away.

I did this.

It was my fault. I’d done it to her. My rage at Puddy had overwhelmed me, and I’d nearly killed the first person who’d truly loved me in years.

Two’s arms were around me before the first tears spilled from my eyes.

“Tip her head up,” Fin said. Steff did, and he poured something down her throat. She coughed and spit up the bluish liquid. “Shit.”

He tipped her head back and poured some more of the potion in, then held her mouth closed. Steff tickled the front of her neck, and she swallowed. Finbar went and grabbed two more potions, which they force-fed her. Steff took another of the potions and gave it to me. I started to protest, but she gave me a look and I took it. I hadn’t realized how fuzzy my head really was until it cleared up.

Some of the burn ointment was on the floor with bits of skin dissolving in it, but the front of Amaranth was clean. There were a few pink spots where the worst of the damage had been, but other than that it looked like nothing had even happened.

“She should be awake,” Fin said. “Why isn’t she awake? Shit.”

“Her mind isn’t allowing her,” Dee said. “I will awaken her.”

She stepped forward and reached a shaky hand out towards Amaranth. Amaranth’s eyelids fluttered and then flew open. She gasped and a blue bubble popped out of her mouth.

“Amy?” Steff said.

“Um… hi?” Amaranth said. “What’s everybody standing around for?”

I threw myself down on her and clung to her like a lifeline, sobbing. There was a faint, slightly painful tingle from the residual divine power of Dee’s healing, but I didn’t care.

“She’s fine, okay?” Puddy said. “Can everybody please get the fuck out of my room now?”

“My room,” Mariel said. “This was my room first!”

“Yeah, well, it’s mine now,” Puddy said. She threw her head back. “Fuck!” she screamed. “What the hell do I have to do to catch a break? I’ve saved your ass how many times now, Mack? And you turn around and lead a fucking raiding party to my door…”

“I’m sorry,” I said. I got to my feet, and helped Amaranth out. “I was wrong about the circumstances… but I’m not going to let you keep hurting people.”

“What hurting people?” Puddy said. “I told you that wasn’t me. I’m sober now.”

“It was you,” I said, shaking my head. “I’m glad you stopped drinking…”

“If I’m not going to get any credit for it, maybe I should start again,” Puddy said.

“Come on, baby,” Amaranth said. She kissed the side of my head. “There’s really nothing else to say.”

“Everybody out!” Puddy said.

“I want you out, too,” Mariel said to Puddy, who ignored her.

Fin was the first one out the door, hightailing it back to his girlfriends’ room. The rest of us followed. A shriek from behind us turned us back around to see Puddy hauling Mariel towards the door by her upper forearm and throwing her out, slamming the door behind her and locking it.

Mariel’s scream was too fast to decipher as she hammered on the door with her four fists, tears streaming down her face. She seemed to exhaust herself in seconds, then kicked the door feebly and turned away.

“You can sleep in my bed if you want,” Amaranth said, holding out her key.

Mariel looked sullen as she took it, but said, “Thanks.”

She glared at me before she headed to Amaranth’s room. She obviously blamed me for everything that had happened. Was she wrong? I didn’t know.

Amaranth had stretched away from me to hand Mariel the key, and I clung all the more tightly to her when her arm was back around me.

“I’m sorry,” I said, hugging her. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

“I did it,” Amaranth said. “Not you. And I’d do it again.”

“Don’t say that,” I said. “I couldn’t live if I ever… if I…”

“I’d come back,” Amaranth said. “I have that. Most people don’t. If I have to throw my body away to stop you from hurting somebody else, I may be saving your life as well as theirs.” She kissed me. “Remember that, baby. If it ever happens. Promise me you’ll remember that.”

“I promise,” I said.

“I’m sorry I maced you, Mack,” Two said.

“It’s okay,” I said. “You had to. Who put me out?”

“I did that, too,” Two said.

“Thanks,” I said.

“Let’s get to bed,” Amaranth said quietly. “Steff, you sure you don’t want to join us?”

Steff shook her head.

“I think I need Viktor,” she said. She looked pale and drawn, and was shaking now that the crisis was over without fighting.

“Okay,” Amaranth said. “Good night.”

“Night.”

“What the fuck happened?” Celia asked, still sounding out of it.

“We’ll tell you tomorrow,” Amaranth said. “Come on, Two… come on, baby. It’s been a long day.”

As understatements went, that one pretty much won. I think I was out before we actually got into bed.

“Fuck,” I said.

Had she cheated after all?

“An ace! I win, I win, I win!” Sooni said, almost mad with glee at the sight of the card. She threw her arms around me and began planting messy, artless kisses all over my face. She also stepped on my foot. “I got an ace! I win!”

“Hold on!” Hazel said. “Nobody ever said aces were high.”

“That’s right,” Two agreed. “Nobody did ever say aces were high.”

“What do you mean?” Sooni said. “Of course aces are high. They’re aces! They are the best card. Nothing beats them. And I drew an ace, because I am the best and nobody beats me!”

“No, you aren’t,” Two said.

“Shut up, feeb!” Tara said.

“Hey!” I said, along with Hazel. Amaranth grabbed Steff’s arms.

“Yeah, shut up, feeb,” Sara echoed.

“Are you going to let them say that?” I asked Kiersta.

“It’s just words,” she mumbled. “It’s a free republic.”

“In some games, they are or can be declared to be high,” Amaranth said. “But the actual value of the card is one, and it wasn’t specified otherwise. Though, since the default ranking of suits goes…”

“Look, let’s just draw again,” Kiersta said. “I want to get this over with.”

“Why should we draw again when I have already won?” Sooni asked.

“Cheat!” Maliko yelled. “Cheat!”

“Cheap!” Suzi echoed, sort of. “Cheap cheap cheap!”

Sara and Tara and Hazel and Steff were all shouting at each other while Amaranth tried to get somebody to listen to her about the suits. Trina looked like Khersentide had come early. She was trying to look everywhere at once, with some success due to the independent motion of her third eye. Feejee looked embarrassed by the whole thing. Dee had closed her eyes and looked stricken.

“Everybody shut up!” Kiersta said. “We’re drawing again.”

“But are aces high or low?” Amaranth asked.

“I don’t care,” Kiersta said. “We’ll say high.”

“Then I already won and we are not drawing again!” Sooni said, stamping her foot.

“We’ll take the aces out,” Kiersta said. “Aces are nothing.”

“I’m not drawing again!” Sooni said.

“Then we’ll give it to Mack,” Kiersta said,

“You cannot simply declare who is the winner,” Sooni said.

“I think Sooni’s right about that,” Amaranth said. “This was really poorly planned, though. It seems like the only fair thing to do is…”

“Will you please climb out of my ass?” Kiersta said. “I’m the R.A. here, not you.”

All of this for a stupid senate seat? One out of at least dozens. There were better ways to draw attention to the problems on campus. I had a reporter from the student newspaper looking to interview me as it was.

Also, I didn’t really have time. It wasn’t just my schoolwork, or the possible lawsuit, or my personal life… I didn’t have time for it at that moment. Maybe Puddy was sober. Maybe she wasn’t. I didn’t like her being alone with Mariel.

“Sooni, you win,” I said.

Nobody was listening to me, including Sooni. Everybody was still yelling and arguing or watching other people yell and argue.

“Sooni wins!” I said, more loudly.

“Of course I win!” she said. “That is what I’m saying, but Kiersta and your big naked breasted lesbian girlfriend aren’t listening!”

“No, I mean, I concede,” I said. “It’s not worth fighting with you over it.”

“What?” Sooni asked. “You can’t do that!”

“It’s what you wanted,” I said. “Isn’t it?”

“I wanted you to step aside because I’m the better candidate!” Sooni said. “But now I’ve won, fair and square…”

“Okay, whatever,” I said. “It’s not worth fighting about.”

“But I won!” Sooni said. She stomped her sandal right on my foot. My eyes watered and I cried out in pain. There was no doubt it was on purpose. “There is nothing to fight about because I won!” She stomped again. I gasped. “And you lost!” And again.

My foot felt about flattened. It was getting slightly less arousing, especially when she did it another time.

“Sooni, please stop doing that,” Kiersta said. “I’ve got a bad enough headache as it is.”

“Kiersta, you make her say I won!” she said. “Right now!”

“You won,” I said.

“Like you mean it!” Sooni said. She sounded near tears. “Like I really won, for real!”

“I don’t have time for this,” I said, talking quickly. “If you want my help with representing the floor, or whatever, I’ll give it. If you want some ideas for issues to raise, I’ll give you them. You wanted to be friends anyway. So we’ll be friends. We’ll work together on it… and you can be the senator. I don’t want it that badly.”

“Mack, no!” Hazel protested.

“But you’re the better candidate!” Two said.

“Lame!” the Leightons said in unison.

“Fine, whatever,” was Kiersta’s response. “As long as we’ve got a senator. Sooni, your first meeting’s Monday.”

“But…” Sooni said.

“I’ve got to go,” I said, heading for the door.

“Wait!” Sooni cried, her voice shrill. “Wait!”

“I’ll talk to you later,” I said.

“Baby, where are you going?” Amaranth asked as I hurried past.

“Sorry,” I said. “No time.”

I ran down the hall as fast as I felt I could without tripping or plowing into the wall, tripping and plowing into the wall in the process. Sooni caught up with me as I was picking myself up from the rebound.

“Come back to the lounge!” she said, half helping me up and half tugging me back in the direction of the glass wall.

“Why?” I asked. “The meeting’s over.”

I gestured back towards the lounge. The others were already leaving. The shorter folk had already disappeared back into whichever of their rooms they were heading for. Amaranth, Two, and Steff were heading towards us.

“We’ll bring everybody back!” Sooni said. “We’ll make them stay!”

“Why?” I asked again. “It’s over. It’s done.”

“But I want to concede to you!” she said. “Because we’re friends and I care more about our friendship. Because it’s not worth fighting over!”

I stared at her, momentarily forgetting my purpose. Was she for real?

Of course she was… and yet she wasn’t. She was following a script, living out one of her stupid comics. That’s why she’d been so glad I hadn’t dropped out after all, why she’d smiled at the tie, and why she’d wanted to draw last. It was all so very dramatic.

But I’d gone off script. Did she fear that she wasn’t the “main girl” after all? Did she think I’d usurped her position?

“Sooni, this isn’t a ‘better friend contest’, or whatever,” I said. “And I don’t have time to deal with your shit right now.”

“What’s going on?” Amaranth asked.

“I want to talk to Puddy before she does something stupid,” I said.

“I think you’re way too late for that,” Steff said.

“I’m serious,” I said. “I don’t think Mariel voted for me and I think Puddy knows it.”

“Baby, you can’t live other peoples’ lives for them,” Amaranth said.

“Amaranth, tell your stupid slave that she has to let me concede to her!” Sooni said.

“Sooni, if you don’t want to be senator, I’m sure you can step down,” Amaranth said.

“That isn’t what I want!” Sooni said.

The nekos had caught up to their mistress by now. They seemed to be completely at a loss, unsure if they were supposed to congratulate or console her.

“Sooni… remember your father,” Maliko said, a little nervously.

“Yeah, Sooni,” Suzi said.

That must have meant something to Sooni, because all of a sudden she looked a lot more conflicted about the whole concession issue. I turned away and headed towards the end of the hall, leaving her to sort it out for herself. Amaranth and Steff followed.

“Mack, baby, what are you going to do?” Amaranth asked.

“I’m just making sure Mariel’s okay,” I said. I knocked on Puddy’s door.

“Fuck… off!” Puddy yelled from within.

I listened. There was no sound that I could detect. Well, what had I expected? If she’d been doing anything, she would have stopped at the sound of voices outside, to say nothing of a knock. That wasn’t conclusive one way or another.

“I just wanted to talk,” I said.

“Go away.”

“Thanks for voting for me,” I said. “That meant a lot.”

I heard a chair moving, and then heavy feet stomping the floor. The light beneath the door went off, and then the door opened halfway.

“Don’t you start,” Puddy said.

“I mean it,” I said.

“You should have won,” Puddy said.

“I don’t care,” I said. “It’s student senate. There are other ways to get the administration’s attention.”

“Oh, fuck that noise,” Puddy said. She pushed the inside knob in, let the door slip open a bit more so she could squeeze through and then pull it closed and locked behind her. “You’re just doing what you always do.”

“What do I always do?” I asked.

“Let people shit all over you and act like it’s okay,” she said.

“Yeah, I guess you know all about that,” Steff said.

I held up a hand.

“Drop it, Steff,” I said. “That’s not going to help.”

“You were robbed, Mack,” Puddy said. “And on my watch. Now I look like an idiot.”

“Puddy, nobody’s even thinking about that,” I said. “Nobody knows…”

“I told a whole table full of people that we were voting for you,” she said. “They can do math, I bet.”

We all jumped as the stairwell door opened.

“Hey, what’s goin’ on?” Celia said, hissing badly on the end of “what’s”. Her eyes were half-filmed over and her pupils were so wide beneath the membranes they almost looked round.

“Nice of you to show up for the meeting,” Puddy said. “You lost Mack the election!”

“Ah, ss-shit,” Celia said. “Was that tonight?”

Steff twitched and then went rigid.

“Oh, you little sack of shit,” she said to Puddy. She tried to push past Puddy to the door, but Puddy blocked her. “Let me through.”

“Back the fuck off,” Puddy said. She grabbed Steff by the arm.

“You let go of me!”

“What the hell are you all doing now?” Kiersta asked, and Puddy abruptly released Steff.

“I don’t even know,” Celia said. “Is it really Friday?”

“They’re trying to break into my room!” Puddy said. Then, more quietly, “And Mariel’s trying to sleep.”

“She must be having one painful nightmare,” Steff said. She looked around at the rest of us. “Can’t you hear her whimpering? Crying?”

“Maybe she’s sad because she did something she regrets,” Puddy said.

“You’re going to regret it if you don’t step aside and let us in,” Steff said. “Mack, move her. Break the door.”

“Don’t fucking break the door,” Kiersta said. “If I have to call maintenance one more time because of you people and your fighting, I swear to fucking Khersis, I’m going to quit.”

“What would be the difference?” Steff asked.

“You’re not even supposed to be here,” Kiersta said to Steff, then to Celia, “you’re out of your gourd on something, and you,” she said, turning to me, “you eat people. So let’s everybody just mind their own business and go back to their own rooms, okay?”

“Why are you even an R.A.?” I asked.

“Same reason as everybody else,” she said. “Room and board. You guys think you’ve got problems with all your stupid interpersonal shit? I’m going to come out of my senior year without enough credits to graduate, and that’s assuming I manage to pass all my classes with brawls and stupid drunken shit going on all the time.”

“It’s too bad there’s not somebody around to stop that kind of thing,” I said.

“You look tired,” Kiersta said. “Go to bed.”

I gave Puddy a pleading look. Maybe just knowing that we were onto her… and that Kiersta would now be somewhat on the alert, no matter how unmotivated she was… would be enough to put a stop to whatever she’d be doing.

Or maybe she’d just wait a bit and go at it with renewed rage.

“Come on, baby,” Amaranth said, putting her arm around me. “You did what you could. Let’s go to bed.”

“Hey, Kiersta, you coming?” one of the Leightons called from by their door.

“Yeah, in a minute!” Kiersta replied. “Are we all done here?”

“Whatever,” Steff said. “Goodnight, Amy, Mack.”

She turned for the stairwell door. Puddy reached for the doorknob. She’d only just turned it and started to push the door open when Steff darted forward, ducking under Puddy’s arm and hitting the lights as she went through the doorway.

Puddy grabbed her by the back of her blouse and yanked her back out of the room. Steff turned around and decked her on the side of the face. Puddy staggered, but so did Steff, rubbing her knuckles.

Puddy recovered quicker, and unslung her axe. Steff’s daggers were out in a moment. Amaranth screamed.

“Oh, I don’t even fucking care anymore,” Kiersta said, heading back to the twins’ room. “I didn’t see this.”

“Stop it!” I yelled, getting between them.

“Out of the way, Mack,” Steff said.

“If you think I’m not willing to go through you, think again,” Puddy said. “I keep offering my friendship and you keep pushing me away. You can only push me so far.”

“Puddy, I only want to help,” I said.

“Fuck you,” Puddy said. “You don’t help me. I help you.”

“Why don’t you want help?” I asked.

“I don’t need help,” she said. “I’m fine.”

“Puddy, there’s nothing to be ashamed about,” Amaranth said. “Everybody…”

“Don’t you flap your pussy lips at me,” Puddy said.

“You know what?” Steff said, flipping her daggers back into their sheaths. “You aren’t even worth it.”

“Pussy,” Puddy said. She adjusted her axe grip and reached for the door.

“Puddy, may we please talk to Mariel?” Amaranth asked. “Just briefly?”

“She doesn’t want to talk to you,” Puddy said. “She doesn’t like you guys.”

“Well, we’re going to bed, then,” Amaranth said. She put her arm on me again. “Come on, Mack…. goodnight, Puddy. Goodnight, Mariel!”

“But…” I said.

“There’s nothing else we can do,” Amaranth said. “Come along, Two… Two?”

It seemed that Two had disappeared at some point. Puddy gave a shriek of outrage and flung the door open. I darted inside after her. Two was in the middle of the room, hugging a shaking Mariel.

Puddy lunged, her hand stretched out towards them, towards Two.

The world turned a little red.

Friday, Calendula 2nd (Night)

As the time for the meeting drew nearer, Hazel tried to solicit contributions for a pizza order to be delivered afterwards. This was not met with much enthusiasm, as three of those present did not eat cheese, and Honey and myself were both in favor of going to bed before too long.

“Come on, an army marches on its stomach,” Hazel said. “And as general, it’s my duty to set a good example.” She looked at me. “Come on, Mack. After your ordeal, don’t you think you deserve a nice pizza pie?”

The eternal siren song of the pizza party… it was tough for a former outcast like myself to resist, but tonight I had a bed calling my name. The fact that the bed would be full of Amaranth was icing on the cake.

“I’m sorry, Hazel,” I said. “It sounds tempting, but I really need some sleep. Some other time?”

“I suppose,” Hazel said. She sighed. “We’re going to have a rematch, anyway, right?” she asked Shiel.

“If you haven’t had enough already,” Shiel said.

“Never! I say we make this a weekly thing,” Hazel said. “How about it? Same time next Friday?”

“Why not?” Shiel said.

“Right,” Hazel said. “And we can do some pizzas for me and my supporters, and sandwiches or whatever for yours.” She looked at me. “You’ll be in my corner, right, Mack?”

“Definitely,” I said.

“Um, hon?” Steff said, tugging on my sleeve.

“What?” I asked.

“You kind of already made plans for next Friday, baby,” Amaranth said.

“Huh?” I said. Oh, right. My date with Steff, assuming it was still on. I hadn’t forgotten about that… no way in hell would I do that. I just hadn’t consciously put it together with the mention of “next Friday”. “Oops. Guess I wasn’t thinking.”

“We have really got to get you a calendar or a planner or something,” Amaranth said. “We’ll go to the bookstore tomorrow around lunchtime and see what we can find.”

“Okay,” I said. “That’s probably a good idea.”

“We should probably get going,” Amaranth said. “The meeting will be starting soon.”

“Hon, the lounge is like right outside,” Steff said. She’d been watching the game avidly, almost to the point of forgetting about her relationship worries. “I’m sure we’ll hear them begin.”

“Yes, but Mack should make a strong impression by being there early,” Amaranth said. “To make up for her missed opportunities.”

“Is it possible for her to show up yesterday?” Shiel asked. She reached for a row of her soldiers and started picking them up.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Hazel asked.

“Are you really going to make me play this out to the bitter end?” Shiel asked.

“We can call it a draw if you like,” Hazel said.

“Not on your life,” Shiel said.

“Then we fight on,” Hazel said, and Shiel replaced the soldiers.

“I’m afraid you’re going to be short a couple spectators,” Amaranth said, putting her arm over my shoulders and pulling me in. “We have about a week’s worth of snuggling to catch up on.”

“That’s fine,” Hazel said. “As long as I’ve got my trusty lieutenant.” She patted Two’s knee. “You won’t abandon me, will you?”

“I do not would like to abandon anybody,” Two said. “But I’m tired, and I have to go to work tomorrow.”

“I’ll stay and watch,” Steff said. “I think I’m getting the hang of this game.”

“Maybe you should share it with Hazel,” Shiel said.

“Just how long do you think this game is going to last?” Oru asked. “I’d like to go to bed before too long, myself.”

“Not much longer,” Shiel said. “Two, maybe three hours. We should definitely have it wrapped up before midnight.”

“What?” Oru asked. “You’ve been slaughtering her.”

“Most of her long-ranged offensive capabilities are destroyed, but she’s still got quite a bit of her heavy cavalry, and those pikemen are positively entrenched,” Shiel said. “While her offense was disastrous, Hazel’s surprisingly skilled at fighting a defensive battle.”

“What you really mean is I learned quickly,” Hazel said. “And sooner or later I’ll have learned enough to turn this thing around.”

“I find that unlikely,” Shiel said.

“Why risk it?” Oru said. “Crush her quickly and get it over with.”

“It’s going to take some time to do that without exposing my troops to unnecessary losses,” Shiel said.

“Why not just throw everything you’ve got at her?” Oru said. “You’ve got her dead to rights. You could lose ten men for every one she does and still wipe her out.”

“That would be poor leadership,” Shiel said. “And I prefer the term ‘soldiers’ to ‘men’.”

“Soldiers, men… they’re made out of rock, whatever you call them,” Oru said. “They’re not going to be leaving any widows behind!”

“Or widowers,” Steff said with a smirk. The roommates both glared at her.

“Take my bed, if you’re so bothered,” Hazel said. “I think Miss Shiel is being overly optimistic. Or did you forget I’ve still got my priests?”

“It seemed like you forgot,” Shiel said.

“Don’t you wish. I’ve just been holding them in reserve,” Hazel said.

This went on after we left Shiel’s room. Two went to wake up Dee while the rest of us headed to the lounge. Sooni and her nekos were already there. Sooni was dressed in a beautiful dress that was similar to but unlike her usual skirt and blouse combos. Its hemline fell quite a bit lower than her panty-baring skirts, but the way it hugged her curves was something to behold. I had to admit, it was actually kind of hot. Her hair was bound in thin braids which were piled in a cone on top of her head, with two spirals off to the side, each framing one of her fox ears.

I was expecting her to be furious at me for continuing to obstruct her ambitions by not bowing out of the race as she’d demanded. To my surprise, she greeted me with a big smile even before we entered the lounge.

“Hello, Miss Mackenzie!” she said as we filed in. I looked for a hint of aggression or predatory hunger in her face. Aside from the fact that her smile incidentally bared her impressive canine teeth, there was none. Her black eyes were bright and shining with what seemed to be genuine good will.

“Hi,” I said.

“Maliko told me you didn’t drop out,” she said.

Maliko was staring daggers at me from behind her. Her hand was over her shoulder, on the hilt of her sword. Sooni was oblivious to her pet’s hostility.

“Uh, yeah,” I said.

“I think it will be so much better this way,” Sooni said. “Much more fitting.”

“Right,” I said.

“I’m so glad the two of you are getting along, Sooni,” Amaranth said. “I hope you’ll have a talk with your other friends about their attitude towards Mack.”

“Of course it’s natural that they’d harbor some suspicion until Mack’s proved herself,” Sooni said. “Though it will probably help when she stops associating with such terrible influences all the time.”

Kiersta came into the lounge then carrying the ballot box, the ballots, and a deck of cards. She walked past all of us an put them down on the counter, then turned and looked around the room.

“You’re not on this floor,” she said to Steff.

“I’m here for immoral support,” Steff replied.

“Oh,” Kiersta said. “Okay. Just don’t try to vote, or anything.”

Two and Dee arrived after that. Dee, appropriately enough, looked like she’d just woke up. Her long white hair was a bit on the messy side and her eyes were half-shut. Dee was wearing a black nightgown with dark green trim. Actually, upon a slightly closer inspection, the whole thing was green… just very, very dark. It was patterned, too, with spirals and swirls. You couldn’t really see them unless you stared.

The robe did not reach down as far as her all-enveloping priestess’s robes and her customary cloak, leaving her bare feet and ankles exposed. It was kind of interesting to note that her feet were about the same size as Sooni’s, though her toes were longer.

“Are you alright?” Amaranth asked Dee again.

“Yes, thank you,” Dee said. “My sleep was not particularly restful.”

Feejee arrived next, followed by Puddy and Mariel, who said nothing but took one of the TV chairs. Rather, they took the chairs that would have faced the TV had a TV been there. After that, everybody from the Leightons’ room came in, including Finbar. Kiersta didn’t say anything about the presence of another outsider, even a male. I guess her token protest of Steff had used up all her reserves of concern for the subject.

Rocky was the last one to arrive. Kiersta waited until five minutes past eight and then announced the voting was going to start. She didn’t ask the candidates if we wanted to say anything. I looked at Sooni, wondering if she was going to protest, but she just kept on smiling. I didn’t have anything prepared, anyway, and I’d used up most of my nerve on the chancellor.

It hit me then that I should have mentioned my talk with the chancellor, but Rocky had already gone over and filled out her ballot, and now Feejee was doing the same. I looked around the room, counting inside my head.

Assuming all the fifth floor girls at dinner actually were my supporters, that gave me eight votes including myself. Puddy and Mariel would be nine and ten, if they voted for me. Feejee could be number eleven.

Sooni and her nekos were four votes. Trina was definitely against me. I wasn’t even a person to her. I doubted Twyla was for me. It was hard to say, but my instinct was no. She certainly wasn’t eager to meet my eye. The Leightons would vote against me. So would Rocky. That was nine.

Twyla and Feejee were the only ones I was uncertain of. I’d had some okay conversations with Feejee. The only time I’d spoken to Twyla had been pretty close to disastrous, but maybe she would appreciate the fact that I’d saved her angel drawing. Or maybe she’d be offended or freaked. I counted Feejee as a yes and Twyla as a no. I’d find out soon enough if I was right or not.

Belinda and Leda hadn’t shown up again, and we were missing both Hissy and Celia. I tried to think of the last time I’d seen Hissy… had it been when she’d attacked me the previous weekend?

Her absence could be for any number of reasons. It didn’t necessarily have anything to do with our fight, or the horrified and horrifying reaction she’d had to reading my mind. She might not even have been missing for the whole week. The fighters weren’t always around the dorm, anyway, and I could possibly have passed her in the hallway without noticing.

Yeah, because giant lizard women are so easy to overlook…

The tiny pragmatic part of myself reminded me that her absence would help cancel out Celia’s, since Hissy had almost certainly voted against me before and would definitely have voted against me this time. I hated myself for thinking it, but it was true.

And where was Celia? I couldn’t say. She came and went from our group as she pleased, usually showing up when she had something she wanted to show off.

Sooni was down one likely previous supporter and so was I. As Shiel had said, nothing seemed to have changed, except for the presence of Puddy and Mariel. That could give me a two vote lead. I was still nervous.

After the nekos filed back to the ballot box one by one and filled out their votes, it was down to Sooni and me. She gave me a little bow and gestured towards the counter. I smiled nervously and went to cast my ballot, and then she did the same.

“That everybody?” Kiersta asked when she’d finished.

Everyone nodded.

“Anybody not vote?” she asked. “Last chance… anybody here from the floor who hasn’t voted?”

Nobody said anything.

“Okay,” she said. “I’m going to go count the ballots.”

The room was silent as she counted, then counted again.

“Another tie,” she said, to a chorus of protests from around the room.

“Recount!” the Leightons called.

“I counted twice,” Kiersta said.

I was looking around the room doing my own recount, trying to figure out who from among my expected supporters might have voted against me. I didn’t know Shiel that well, but she had said I was the better candidate, and she hadn’t denied it when Hazel had lumped her in with my supporters. Neither had Oru. I couldn’t say about Oru either way, but I had the feeling that Shiel at least would have felt compelled to speak up if that wasn’t true.

I could have been wrong about Feejee. Her face showed mild surprise, but that didn’t tell me anything.

Then I saw Mariel’s triumphant smirk, directed right at me. Puddy looked livid, but there was no way she could see Mariel’s face when the sylph was on her lap… a fact which was probably beneficial to Mariel’s well-being.

She saw me looking, though, and her expression changed… darkened. She tightened her grip on Mariel’s waist. I looked away. Had Puddy guessed at the same thing I had?

“According to the student handbook, in the event of a tie during the run-off, the winner is to be determined by lots or another random method,” Amaranth announced over the din, bringing my attention back to the matter more immediately at hand.

“You want to let me run this meeting?” Kiersta said. “I brought a deck of cards,” she said to Sooni and me. “I’ll shuffle, you each draw, and high card wins. Is that okay?”

“Of course,” Sooni said, without hesitation. Her smile had returned in full force. If anything, she seemed even more pleased.

Drawing cards? I supposed they couldn’t keep having elections indefinitely, and I don’t think I could hope to do any better. Too many of the absentees were against me. I looked at Amaranth for support. She shrugged and nodded.

“Okay,” I said.

Kiersta shuffled the cards a little clumsily, then pushed them together into a neat stack and set them down on the counter. I waved a hand at them.

“I voted first,” I told Sooni.

“No, please,” Sooni said. “It will be so much better if you draw first.”

“Better how?” I asked.

“It just will be,” she said. She leaned close and whispered, “This is the way it’s supposed to be.”

There was that word again. It was occasionally cute from Two, but otherwise, nothing good ever seemed to follow it.

“Hey, no whispering,” Kiersta said.

“Right, we’re rigging the election against each other,” I said. I sighed and closed my eyes, then took the top card off the deck. I lifted it up to my face and opened my eyes. It took a moment for my vision to focus, and another for my brain to register what it was seeing.

“Queen of cups,” I announced, smiling like an idiot with relief as I showed it around.

Sooni drew a card.

“Queen of swords,” she said, holding it up.

“The ranking of suits is…” Amaranth started to say, but Kiersta cut her off.

“Draw again,” she said.

I again offered Sooni the chance to go first, and she again refused. This time I drew with my eyes open, glancing at it briefly before displaying it to Kiersta and Sooni.

“King of swords,” I announced.

Okay, it seemed like Kiersta had done a really shitty shuffling job, but I wasn’t about to complain. Even if Sooni got another face card, odds were she’d still lose. She seemed utterly unperturbed, heedless of the odds against her. I might have wondered if she’d rigged the game somehow, except her smile was all bliss and no craft.

I turned to show the card to the room and the smile fell off my face. Puddy and Mariel had left. I could see them through the glass wall, heading down towards the end of the hall, Puddy hurrying Mariel along.

Shit.

“Sooni, draw,” Kiersta said.

I took my eyes off the hallway and watched Sooni reach for the deck. I glanced back, but Puddy and Mariel had vanished into their room.

Sooni had her eyes closed and her hand on the top card. She was smiling triumphantly. I wondered again if she was cheating. I reached out, but felt no magic operating on the deck or her.

“Sooni?” Kiersta prompted.

Sooni said nothing, but flipped the top card over onto the counter. With her eyes closed, I saw it before she did.

She’d drawn the ace of wands.

Upstairs, I stowed my pitchfork in the closet, grabbed some of my own clothes, and left Two’s on her bed. I figured if I put them in her hamper, she’d probably have to take them out to fold them. I wrapped a towel around myself and headed for the bathroom with my clean clothes and a fresh pad from Amaranth.

Feejee was in her accustomed tub when I got to the bathroom. Strangely, she’d metamorphosed her lower half into fully human… at least, it seemed like that. I wasn’t exactly straining to see.

She definitely didn’t have her tail out, though, and there didn’t seem to be a speck of green. Usually she changed into the tail form when she was bathing, and her scaly legs when she walked around. I’d never caught more than a fleeting glimpse of her legs “nude” before.

Okay, so maybe I was looking a bit, but I was curious.

“Hey, Mack,” she said. “I was so glad when Trina told me you’d turned up safe.”

“Thanks,” I said, wondering what Trina’s exact words were. The three-eyed gossipmonger didn’t seem to have nice things to say about anybody, but she referred to me as a “thing” when she didn’t think I could hear her.

“I’m kind of relieved to see you taking the afternoon off,” Feejee said. “I don’t think anybody’s going to their classes, but I’d feel weird skipping if you weren’t.”

“Um… I’m actually not,” I said. “I don’t have any classes until 3:15.”

“Oh,” she said. “Well… my last class is over by then.”

I set my stuff down by the edge of the tub, hiding the pad under my clothes.

“Um, could you watch my stuff?” I said. “I kind of want to take a shower real quick.”

She gave me a weird look, but said, “Sure.”

So maybe showering before taking a bath was weird. I had dirt and stuff from the labyrinth all over that I didn’t necessarily want floating around in the tub, and it also let me make sure I was as clean as I could be down there before I hurried to the tub, disposing of the old pad on the way.

“So what actually happened?” Feejee asked once I was luxuriating in the hot water and the scent of vanilla.

“Huh?”

“The whole thing, today,” Feejee said. “They were saying you were supposed to get out of the healing center, and then nobody knew where you were…”

“You know, I’d rather not get into it,” I said.

“Are you going to sue the school?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I think I should talk to a lawyer before I, you know, talk about it with anybody else.”

“Oh, okay,” Feejee said.

She lifted her leg up and watched her toes wiggle. She really did have some pretty big feet. They were the only part of her proportions that struck me as odd. Her thighs were a bit on the thick side… actually, she was kind of built broad all over, but it wasn’t a bad look. Not like the modern model of beauty, maybe, but she wouldn’t have been at all out of place in an old painting.

“You’re staring,” she said.

“Sorry,” I said, blushing.

“It’s okay. I’m just trying to get in touch with my human side,” she said. “So to speak.”

“Aren’t mermaids part-human?” I asked. “I mean, you look human.”

“Don’t know,” she said. “I really don’t think so… kind of hope not, actually. But can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Do you find me attractive?”

I froze. I wasn’t sure this question had a right answer. If this had been a dream or fantasy, it would be pretty clear where it was heading, but it wasn’t, and I was pretty sure Feejee was straight as they came. Was I supposed to find her attractive? Would that be flattering, or threatening?

“Mack?” she prompted.

“W-why do you ask?” I stammered.

“Just curious, I guess,” she said. “I like to think of myself as pretty attractive… to humans, I mean… but I don’t know what lesbians look for.”

“Same as anybody else, I guess,” I said.

“So do you?”

“Well… I don’t really think about you that much,” I said. That didn’t seem like the best answer. “I did have a… um… a dream about you.”

“What kind of dream?” she asked.

“You probably don’t want to know,” I said.

“No, tell me,” she said.

“Well, we were sort of having… sex,” I said.

She frowned, but it seemed more in confusion or concentration than distaste.

“Having sex… how?” she asked.

“Well, we were in the bathtub, and you were… you had your face… well, you were under the water licking my… my pussy,” I said, making myself blurt out the last two words. I ducked my head down, my chin brushing the piles of foam.

“You know, that’s kind of gross,” Feejee said.

I turned and stared at her to see if she was joking. The look on her face suggested otherwise.

“What the hell did you ask me for, then?” I asked. I brought my hand down hard on the surface of the water, splattering bubbles everywhere. Not the smoothest move ever.

“Sorry! I was curious,” she said.

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to,” I said.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “Really. It’s probably just me… a lot of the ‘facts of life’ on land are kind of creepy to me. I’m still getting used to seeing pregnant women. I guess it must seem normal to you.”

“Well, not really,” I admitted. “Sometimes… most times… I think it’s all kind of gross, too. Actually, licking pussy is really gross.”

“Then what were you yelling at me for?” she asked.

She had me there.

“I don’t know,” I said. “I’m just… defensive I guess. It’s all new to me, too.”

“So… if you don’t lick pussy… then how do you…”

“Do you really want to know?” I asked.

“I’m asking, aren’t I?” she said.

I gave her a look.

“Well… maybe not really.” She shook her head. “Actually, no. I don’t.”

“Thank you,” I said.

“I guess we should find something else to talk about,” she said.

I would really have rather not talked about anything, but I didn’t want to be rude. I guess she got lonely sitting in the bathtub by herself all the time.

That did raise a question, though.

“Do you ever go over to the pool?” I asked.

“Huh?”

“Apparently, there’s a swimming pool in the fitness center,” I said. “Sooni goes there all the time.”

“Yeah, I heard you guys were friends now,” Feejee said. “I think that’s great.”

“Um, yeah,” I said. “But, anyway, do you ever go over there?”

“I’ve tried it,” she said. “But it feels weird, swimming with… well, let’s just say it was kind of surreal and leave it at that. But the dwarves have a priv…” She trailed off and her face blanked.

“The dwarves have what?” I asked.

“I just remembered, I’m supposed to be sworn to secrecy,” she said.

“About what?” I asked.

“About nothing,” she said. “Anyway, the bathtub’s fine for me. It’s just nice to have some company every once in a while.”

“Does anybody else use the bathtubs?”

“The, um… short people?” Feejee said.

“You mean the burrow gnomes, or Shiel and Oru?” I asked.

“The gnomes,” Feejee said.

“Hazel and Honey,” I said.

“Yeah,” Feejee said. “They took a couple baths together the first week, but I don’t think it was easy for them to get in and out of the tub. The kobold also came in once and looked at the tub, but as far as I know, she didn’t come back.”

“They should put in a step or something,” I said. “It could just be something that hangs over the side. These tubs are so big it would hardly get in the way…”

“Yeah,” Feejee agreed. “Oh, and I’ve also seen Twyla a few times, but she doesn’t talk much. I don’t think she’s comfortable with the open showers. Oh, and just this last week or so, Sooni’s been coming in with one of the cats. She closes the curtain and… well… I don’t know if it really is baby talk or if her language just sounds that way. I don’t know what’s up with that.”

“Is it the same neko every time?” I asked.

“The little one, with the spots,” Feejee said.

Kai. That fit. As far as I knew, Sooni had stayed away from the swimming pool until the bandages came off Kai’s fingers. That was also probably why she’d waited to start taking baths… or rather, “giving Baby Kai-Kai a bath.”

I wondered if I could use our supposed “friendship” as leverage to get Sooni to treat Kai better… or if Kai would accept that help. She might resent anything that endangered her relationship with her rather volatile meal ticket.

Anyway, it seemed unlikely that Sooni would relinquish her favorite plaything just because I asked her to. Hell, in her twisted little mind, I could see her taking that as a sign that I wanted to take Kai’s place. I could just picture her dressing me up like a doll, fawning over me, giving me baths…

“You know, I’m trying not to think about the lesbian stuff, but it’s going to be hard if you perv out when we’re talking,” Feejee said.

“What?” I asked, blinking in confusion.

“I know that look,” she said. “I’ve seen it on Rick’s face often enough.”

“I wasn’t ‘perving’,” I said. “I was just… thinking about something.”

“It’s okay,” Feejee said. “You’ve already admitted you dream about me.”

“I dreamed about you, once,” I said. “I wasn’t thinking about you, honestly. And I wasn’t thinking about anything remotely sexual.”

“Okay, whatever,” Feejee said.

“I wasn’t.”

“I guess it’s my fault for asking if you found me attractive,” Feejee said.

“I was just thinking about Sooni,” I said.

“Oh,” Feejee said.

“Don’t ‘oh’ like that,” I said. “I told you it’s not sexual.”

“What were you thinking about, then?” she asked.

“It’s not really any of your business.”

“Oh.”

The door opened. Sara and Tara stumbled through, laughing about something. They stopped when they saw me lying in the tub… and then started laughing louder.

“Oh fucking Khersis God, why don’t you close the curtain, you little troglodyte?” Tara said.

“Nobody wants to see that!” Sara said, despite the fact that there were about eight inches of bubbles between the surface of the water and the open air.

They headed into a stall.

“Do you think she’s got her girlfriend under there?”

“Probably. Maybe she’ll drown?”

“Maybe they both will.”

“Why don’t you say something to them?” I asked Feejee.

“Why don’t you?” she asked.

“They’re your friends, aren’t they?” I asked.

She shrugged.

I heard coughing and sputtering coming from the stall. I leaned out of the tub and craned my head around to see what was going on. There were gray curls of haze wafting up above the partition.

“Hey, are you guys smoking in there?”

“‘Are you guys smoking in there?’” one of them mocked, while the other one said, “She is! Not me… just her.”

“Oh, shut up, you fucking pansy,” the smoker said.

“You’re not supposed to smoke inside the dorms!” I said, which ended the fight.

“She sounds just like the golem.”

“I know.”

Peals of laughter.

I sighed and sank back into the water.

“Just ignore them,” Feejee said. “That’s what I do.”

“I thought you were friends with them,” I said.

“Ignoring them makes that easier.”

I closed my eyes.

Eventually, I heard a flush and then the stall door open, and then running water, to the sounds of more giggling. I heard them heading towards the door, and felt a profound sense of relief… which ended when I realized they’d stopped moving right between the tubs.

“Oh, look,” one of them said. “A garbage can.”

I opened my eyes to see Tara (at least, the arm on Tara’s head’s side of the body) flicking her cigarette at me, and the other arm throwing a wadded-up something into the bathwater. The cigarette hit me in the face at about the same time I processed what the other item had been.

“Ew!” I yelled, vaulting out of the tub. “Oh fucking gross!”

Sara and Tara laughed and darted for the door.

“I think that was really uncalled for,” Feejee said to nobody in particular.

I grabbed my towel and threw it around me, then followed.

“Hey!” I yelled after them from the door. “Come back here!” They ignored me—except to laugh more—and staggered back towards their room. I kept yelling, my voice cracking and tears of hot anger welling up in my eyes. “Hey! I’m talking to you guys!”

Kiersta appeared in her doorway.

“What’re you shouting about?” she asked.

“Sara and Tara threw their cigarette butt and dirty toilet paper in the bathtub with me!” I said.

“Why were you taking a bath in the middle of the day?” she asked blankly.

I stared at her.

“Are you going to do something about this, or not?” I asked.

“What do you want me to do?” she asked.

“Punish them,” I said. “Stop them.”

“Do you really think they’re likely to do that again?” she asked.

“I didn’t think it was likely somebody would do it in the first place,” I said. “If you can kick me out of the lounge, you can at least do something about this.”

“Okay,” she said. “You can go back in the lounge. Happy?”

“No,” I said.

“Welcome to the real world,” she said.

“I hope you know, I’m not reaching into that tub and pulling the drainplug,” I said.

She rolled her eyes.

“Fine,” she said. “I’ll do it.”

“You’ll find their cigarette in there, too,” I said.

“I didn’t see them smoke it,” she said. “If I catch them smoking, they’ll be in trouble, okay?”

“If I see them smoking again and come get you…”

“Nobody likes a tattletale, Mack,” she said.

“I’m glad to know you’re taking your duties seriously,” I said.

“I’m an R.A., not a special investigator,” she said. “If I don’t see it, I can’t do anything about it.”

“Used toilet paper, Kiersta,” I said. “As in, they wiped their ass or worse with it.”

She looked at me in confusion.

“What would be worse than their ass?” she asked.

“You know what, forget I said that,” I said.

“Aren’t you a lesbian?” she asked, when she realized what I’d meant. “How can you be a lesbian if you don’t even like… you know…?”

“Never mind!” I said, retreating back into the bathroom. I tried to slam the door but it was the heavy kind that sort of swings shut on its own slow schedule.

“You know, you should probably keep a better hold on your emotions,” Feejee said. “That kind of outburst isn’t exactly going to help your reputation.”

“They threw toilet paper at me, Feejee!” I said.

“Yeah, I caught that,” she said. “I’m just saying…”

“How can you be friends with people like that?”

“Well, considering some of the friends you’ve had… and still have… I don’t think you’ve got a lot of room to talk,” she said.

I didn’t have anything to say to that, so I gathered up my things. I’d sloshed water all over my clothes and stuff, but the pad was still safe in its wrapper, at least.

I didn’t know what the conversation would do for Feejee’s vote. I had no idea how she’d voted the first time. I also had no doubts at all about how Sara and Tara had voted, or how they would vote this time.

I hated to admit it, but my prospects did not look good.