Bonus Story: Head Games

on November 25, 2007 in Other Tales

Author’s Note: I know I’ve been lax in producing bonus stories, but here’s one, anyway. It’s not long, but maybe it answers at least one common question I get.

It was late Saturday night in Harlowe, the weekend after the first week of classes.

Five girls from the fifth floor were gathered in the room shared by Twyla, the bicorn human, and Sara and Tara Leighton, whose identical heads protruded from the same set of shoulders. The room’s normal inhabitants had been joined by Feejee the mermaid, wearing her boyfriend’s leather coat, and Trina the triclops.

None of them were talking much… all five and a half pairs of eyes in the room kept glancing at the glowing numbers of the timepiece on the dresser.

Even though they were all obviously expecting an imminent arrival, the knock on the door still made everybody jump.

Trina was the first to the door. She ducked her head a bit to line up her large central eye with the peephole.

“It’s him!” Trina reported. “It’s Fin.”

Twyla giggled shyly.

“Does he have it?” Sara asked.

“You don’t think he’s just going to hold it up to the eyepiece, do you?” Tara retorted.

“Well, let him in,” Feejee said.

Trina did, and Finbar, the furry-faced canid stepped into the room.

“Do you have it?” Feejee asked.

He smiled and slid a tall, crinkled brown paper bag out from under his jacket.

“Awesome!” the Leightons said at the same time, heading to their dresser, where they withdrew shot glasses from the top drawer and began handing them around.

Feejee took the bag and pulled out the bottle of whiskey from within.

“So, this is some kind of water?” she asked, wrinkling her nose in doubt.

“Water of life, baby,” Fin said. “Seven year old whiskey. Maybe next time Feejee will break out some of her pirate gold and we can get the good stuff.”

“It’s not pirate gold,” Feejee said, hugging herself subconsciously to try to cover the layers of gold chain and other jewelry around her neck.

“How’d you get it?” Sara asked.

“I told the clerk I’m one hundred and forty in my people’s years,” Fin said, flashing a wolfish grin. “So, c’mon? Who’s first?”

“I’m not really much of a drinker,” Trina said as she reached and took the bottle from the mermaid. “But I’ll try anything once.”

“I notice you jumped on the idea when I suggested it,” Sara said.

We suggested it,” Tara said.

“It’s more something to get out of my room,” Trina said. “I never know when she‘s going to come back, all… hanging out,” she said cupping her hands out in front of her own modest breasts in imitation of her roommate’s. “Or if she’ll have that creepy little thing with her.”

“What exactly is wrong with ‘hanging out’?” Feejee protested, her own impressive bust hardly obscured by the jacket. “And Mack’s not that bad… even if she does act like she was raised by sharks.”

“Hey, no offense intended,” Trina said, filling a shot glass and knocking it back with impressive ease for somebody who wasn’t much of a drinker. “It’s just no picnic sharing a room with a blow-up doll.”

“Oh, like you’ve never had a little fun,” Tara said.

“Well…” Trina said. “There was this one time… at bard camp…”

“I will pay you not to finish that sentence,” Sara said. “At least not until I’ve had a couple shots.”

“Yeah,” Tara said. “Quit boggarting the bottle, why don’t you?”

Trina handed Sara the bottle, who set up and filled two glasses.

“Hold on,” Fin said. “You can’t both take a shot.”

“Why not?” Tara asked.

“We both chipped in,” Sara said.

“Yeah, but it all goes into the same place,” he said. “So you both get twice as drunk for the same cost.”

“So?” Sara said. “You’re not getting any less than you would if we still had separate bodies.”

They slammed their shots in near-perfect unison, then reeled.

“Whoo,” Sara said.

“You guys don’t drink much, either?” Fin asked.

“We do,” Tara said, a little defensively. “But at home, we have to be careful not to take enough to get noticed, you know?”

“So, what you said… did you mean that you weren’t always… together?” Twyla asked as the bottle was set before her. Her hand shook a bit as she poured out half a shot.

“Oh, no,” Tara said. “I mean, there were times it seemed like we were inseparable… but not like this.”

“Um, how exactly…” Twyla started to ask, then blushed. “Nevermind.”

“What, you want to know how we ended up like this?” Sara asked.

“I… I don’t mean to pry,” Twyla said. “I’m just kind of curious, you know, about things.”

“We’ll tell you, if you drink that,” Tara said, pointing at her shot glass.

Twyla lifted the glass to her lips with an overabundance of caution and took a careful sip of it, grimacing and sputtering immediately.

“Don’t sip it,” Fin said.

“I’ll drink some more later,” Twyla said.

“You’ve got to finish that before we move on,” Tara said.

“You said you wanted in,” Sara reminded her. “Right?”

Twyla gave a shaky smile and swallowed the rest of the whisky in not-quite-one gulp, then gave a wheezy cough.

“Okay, well, it’s no big secret,” Sara said. “It all comes down to our dad, you see.”

“Our dear father,” Tara said, rolling her eyes. “He’s always been a bit… experimental… in his approach to magic, you know? Always looking for a newer, better way to do things.”

“As if there wasn’t a reason for the old way,” Sara put in.

“So, he thought he’d found a way to send people and things zipping all over the world, just as easily as we can send information over the ethernet,” Tara said.

“That’s crazy,” Fin said, shaking his head. “Can’t be done.”

“Oh, it’s crazy,” Sara said. “But it still worked… pretty much.”

“How?” Trina asked. “How’d he do it?”

“By reducing whatever he wanted to send to information,” Tara explained. “The ‘essential characteristics’, he called them… and packaged them with a delayed spell that reassembled them at the other end.”

“He had a lot of fun with it at first, sending apples and oranges and small bits of metal and stuff,” Sara said. “And then a mouse, and then a cat…”

“…my cat, actually,” Tara interjected.

“…and then finally, he decided it was time for a human test,” Sara finished.

“He tested it on you?” Feejee asked, aghast.

“No, on himself,” Tara said. “Worked perfectly. He must have done it a hundred times before he even thought about letting anybody try it. We each went through it a bunch of times, after he announced it was safe, and then he went on to testing it with bigger things, and with more than one person.”

“And that’s where it all went to hell,” Sara said. “After he said it was safe for groups, we–the whole family, I mean–decided to use it for a trip to our grandma’s for Khersentide.”

“What happened?” Twyla asked, leaning forward, absolutely enraptured by the story.

“Oh, fuck,” Fin swore softly but emphatically. “I mean… fuck.”

“You can guess what happened, can’t you?” Tara asked him approvingly.

“What?” Trina asked, a little annoyed.

“We’re twins,” Sara said. “Our essential characteristics are identical… the only differences are in our heads.”

“So… the spell put you back together…” Feejee said.

“Like this,” Tara said.

“Damn,” Fin said, taking the bottle from Twyla and passing the bottle to the twins.

“Hey!” Feejee said.

“It’s not our turn,” Sara said, though she took it anyway.

“I think you bitches deserve an extra shot,” he said.

“Can the rest of us get a vote on that next time?” Feejee said, grabbing at the bottle as soon as Sara had poured out two more shots.

“So,” Tara said to Fin. “You’ve got your own room?”

“Oh, no,” Sara said. “We aren’t.”

“Yeah, just watch me…”


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2 Responses to “Bonus Story: Head Games”

  1. pedestrian says:

    Fin doing Tara/Sara, brings a whole new meaning
    to the term doggy style.

    Quick thought: One body, two heads, one vagina, two libidos.
    Try and coordinate that orgasm.

    add it up: vagina, anus and two mouths, they go easily do four guys at one sitting. Solidarity.

    Current score: 6
  2. Mugasofer says:

    Huh. I assumed they were just, you know, regular cojoined twins who got caught up in the fantastic racism.

    Current score: 2